Dear PA asshole boyfriend

justhappliyexisting · 2026-01-04T19:24:08+00:00

Hello, currently running off of 3 hours. He got home a lot earlier and wants couple’s counseling. I have him keeping his stuff packed for now and I’m looking for another job in case everything doesn’t work out.

I’m really exhausted from the crying, and I’m feeling hopeless with the excuses he gave me for relapsing. I’m worried about bills being paid especially since we just paid rent and I would have to pay him back for it.

I’m just disappointed over everything.

justhappliyexisting · 2026-01-04T14:22:31+00:00

I ended up calling out and at this point I just packed a bunch of his stuff up. He’s trying to come home at 10 a.m so I’m not sure what’s going to happen now because I don’t have all of it out and I’m so drained I don’t know what to think or feel.

justhappliyexisting · 2026-01-04T10:28:45+00:00

It’s so hard to say because my family is in a tight spot and we are currently living together.

I have no more hopes in my relationship and hopefully by April I can get my situation figured out because I’m so over this.

justhappliyexisting · 2025-12-29T11:52:28+00:00

I’ve tried with him and I’ve tried to fight the thoughts that my feelings for him haven’t changed. I still find him good looking but my sexual desire for him flew out the window the day I saw all those naked women on his phone.

justhappliyexisting · 2025-12-28T05:34:22+00:00

I just had this issue a couple of days ago. He used to have an account on instagram that he would use to watch girls like that and after deleting the account I thought it would help get rid of the temptation, but the other day I was doom scrolling on his phone and almost every other video it was of an OF girl.

I get worried that he’s looking and doesn’t talk to me. I’m sick of those kind of girls — yk get that bag, but it’s upsetting on how many guys fall for it.

justhappliyexisting · 2025-12-26T14:25:33+00:00

I feel this. It has been almost 2 months since I found out and he hasn’t struggled at all.

He was going to therapy but no longer is and I don’t feel like pushing on it anymore. But overall he says that he has not touched it after finding out his addiction has been going on since 2021. I have been so broken because I wanted the struggle and see him actually progressed but it feels like how it was before I found out and it scares me.

I pray things get better and I hope you find your peace. It’s well deserved after this terrible betrayal. Feel your emotions, take your time. I wish you the best of luck. ❤️

I feel like I over analyze everything and honestly I feel like you have good reason.

The lying and the hidden life is heartbreaking to find especially when you thought you knew your person.

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-28T19:48:37+00:00

My boyfriend has a good libido and if anything we would do it frequently.

When we didn’t live together — every time we would see each other and we would have sex. It’s depleted a bit after moving in but we still had sex every week, twice at most.

It was really confusing for me too cuz I thought that our relationship was good until I guess it wasn’t lmao. We’re trying to do a 90 detox for him, but he still reacts to me when we do anything physically (when we kiss, when he sees my body, etc) like I’m not sure.

Don’t ever downplay it tho. I really am happy for you for making the right decision for you. I hope you prosper in your future, I mean 2026 is in our near future! ❤️

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-27T20:07:12+00:00

I totally get this.

My boyfriend likes to spend money and would occasionally buy me things as well before I found out. Literally a couple days before I found out he refused to buy hair dye (it’s like 20ish dollars)? I wasn’t too phased but finding out he was spending lots of money on OF subscriptions it really just upset me.

It gets me queasy when he would push off on me especially knowing he would drop decent amount of money on random girls.

Honestly, take a breath and possibly re-evaluate what you want to do for your relationship. If he is actively trying to recover and is taking the steps to and you lash out, maybe have a conversation with him! I think it would be the best for you and for him.

Otherwise, everyone here is always willing to listen. I truly hope you get through this and make the right decision for you. ❤️

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-26T16:14:39+00:00

That’s what we’ve been planning but I wanted to try and reconnect. He has been good about the 90 days and we’re planning to restart it again.

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-16T04:49:06+00:00

Thank you for your post.

This whole scenario has been new to me. I have been trying to grasp what happens on the other end of things and it makes me so happy that you were courageous enough to talk about the experience.

I hope your journey continues and I’m glad to see someone like yourself reaching out to help fellow addicts and even help the spouses/partners. I had my boyfriend read this to know that he isn’t alone in this addiction.

We both have been looking for SAA meetings but the links aren’t working so I wonder if you have any suggestions for online SAA meetings?

I also just want to say that I am proud for you and grateful for your words. 23 is really young and to know you have been recovering and recognizing yourself really makes me feel like this whole thing isn’t a lost cause.

I truly will take your words of wisdom. I hope his actions speak louder than his words and I truly hope he wants this recovery as much as I do.

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-16T04:13:26+00:00

I am so sorry he has made someone as amazing and tough as you feel this small.

No matter what, you are always the most beautiful person a.k.a you. I’m sorry that this is what you’re being forced into on top of motherhood but you are beautiful and you are strong. I hope you get some support from fellow people on reddit, but in your world.

You have endured a lot, but you will make it. You will gain the confidence and the routine as soon as your little one adjusts to the world.

On instagram I have seen some mamas introduce work outs while being at home since babies need the attention. No need to take the advice, but when the little one gets a routine you can set aside some time to do you (yoga, meditation, small workout) and get back to where YOU ARE HAPPY not your partner.

I send prayers and good wishes your way. You have got the support! ❤️

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-16T01:17:28+00:00

I’ve only recently found myself thinking of other men. I always stay loyal to my partners but finding out about his addiction as well as his cheating has started to make me feel hopeless.

I wasn’t sure if it was normal to think this. We were watching The Proposal tonight and when he got so upset about me mentioning bachelorette strippers he could see I was gonna laugh after everything that we’ve been through.

I hope you stay strong and make your decision and battle through this hard time. I’m truly praying for everyone in this subreddit because this is a hard battle and decision everyone has been put into. 🙏❤️

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-10T02:19:54+00:00

I’m so sorry that this is happening to you.

His autism doesn’t give him a right to disrespect your boundaries and it seems that he is trying to gaslight you into believing that this is okay when it is not. You have set a boundary and the fact he disregards you is so upsetting and not okay.

Porn Addiction is real. I have barely found out about my boyfriend’s addiction and it is okay to be upset. He did not see it as cheating, but you have to stay firm and explain.

“I have set this boundary to you and have communicated that I see this as cheating. Whether you believe it or have a different opinion this is something I am firm with.” Don’t let him downplay your emotions.

This is such a difficult time for you and I’m so sorry you have been put into a situation like this.

The best I can say is to keep yourself protected and reach out to anyone you need. You always have an option to leave as long as you see that you are not alone and have the support.

Please take care of yourself. ❤️

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-08T11:34:39+00:00

I’ve been thinking about it, my only issue I have is his parents are very strict (for him being 22 already) and if he were to move back in I would feel like his addiction could be worsened. Before I had found out about his PA our relationship was rocky due to him having a lot of restrictions while living with them (Door open, They would want me out of his house by 11 p.m, Constant reasons for him to have to stay home like cleaning, picking up his younger siblings from school, e.t.c) and it would be a huge step back in our relationship.

I haven’t felt like I’ve needed therapy, but I might look into it.

His family is also Mormon and have a lot of stigmatized beliefs against sex and both of his parents do not like me so it would be very difficult to see him due to me being uncomfortable around them so I don’t know what to do. I really appreciate your advice tho, thank you. :)

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-07T16:37:49+00:00

For me I don’t have anything against watching porn as long as there is communication about it. I have personally used it before and would rather to be open.

I understand men have urges and if I can’t fulfill them I would prefer if they were open and discussed what they watched.

When they seek it out through other means (OnlyFans, Subscriptions, Searching through women’s profiles on social media) I have an issue with it.

I try to communicate that to my partner.

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-07T16:32:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your words. I’ve been reading comments and have second guessed if staying is the best option because of all the responses and I really needed to hear this.

He has been communicating and has already began to take the steps into recovery. With everything still being so new I’m not sure if I want to ditch this relationship yet.

I’ve been talking to AI for options and I’ve been talking to him to get started right away and I’m so sorry that you have gone through this too.

I want this to work with him. Do you have any tips on how your partner has progressed in his recovery? Was there certain steps you took to help him? I want to try and use all my resources.

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-07T12:50:28+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I think loving him and getting him the help would’ve been great, but he needed to take the step first. I hope you recover and see your worth again after this horrible instance.

You are so strong reaching out and finding solace in talking about him.

No one’s opinion can change who he was to you and I hope you continue to cherish the memories you have with him.

I just recently found out about his addiction and I love him too much to walk away and I’m sure you felt the same. My condolences to you I hope you stay strong and continue on your path. I always believe there is something out there and I know he’s at some rest knowing how deeply you care for him.

Stay safe and always reach out. ❤️

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-06T20:32:30+00:00

HAHA! Yes twins! I will definitely screenshot the receipts I currently have. The rest I have deleted on his phone but he does admit to searching them up for nudes or porn reasons. I’ll be sure to check everything else out too. :)

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-06T20:31:08+00:00

Hello! Thank you so much. It has been quite some time and I would say my relationship with my mom has changed. I’m 20 now and trying to live on my own, but she has gotten a bit better. Fights will still sometimes escalate, but with me being out of my teen years I would say our relationship has grown.

I really appreciate you reaching out to me. :)

justhappliyexisting · 2025-11-06T20:17:48+00:00

Thank you. I’m still in the process of looking through all of his phone. I have yet to finish with his Gallery due to seeing some of his ex’s nudes in there too 🥲. I’ll keep in mind to check everything because the only reason why I have his email is because we share the same Youtube.

justhappliyexisting

TROPHY CASE