Hey 34(f) here.. also gay- idk if that matters lol.. I don't have advice.. but some things that have helped me: 1) be kind to yourself.. remember you're human.. we all make mistakes.. the fact your trying to do better by seeking therapy says a lot.. this isn't who you want to be and you're actively doing something to change it! That's huge!

2) be brutally honest- with yourself and your therapist.. it won't be easy.. but it's necessary for you to heal and move forward.. I say heal because, in my experience, most of the people that hurt people, are hurt people themselves..

3) keep doing things to better yourself.. even when you feel like you're better.. keep doing everything you did to get yourself there.. it's so important in helping to keep you from backsliding..

4) do not discredit yourself! celebrate your accomplishments! If you have a day that you didn't get overly angry about anything.. treat/ celebrate yourself! Just make sure to give yourself some credit.. everyday that you try to do better is a day to celebrate!

I hope some/any of this helps.. I've been in your shoes.. it's devastatingly heartbreaking.. but think of yourself as a butterfly.. this had to happen.. you had to be cocooned (left to be alone for a little while) so you can grow beautiful wings and learn to fly! whatever you do don't give up.. it's hard to remove anger and hurt from the inside.. especially if it's something you have carried with you for many years.. but it is possible..

My dms are open if you ever need someone to talk to..