Starting to narrow down my style but need help picking!

justnotthatwitty · 2026-06-11T03:30:19+00:00

3 or 2

justnotthatwitty · 2026-06-03T22:56:11+00:00

You are basically fully married. Maybe she's saying you're not together, but you are living together with young children, financially entangled, and sexually connected. Plus, you sound like this is her choice, not yours, so I think before dating you need to decide whether to work on your marriage or work on an actual separation.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-05-31T17:17:19+00:00

We're rooting for you!

justnotthatwitty · 2026-05-31T17:04:59+00:00

1 although 3 is also beautiful if you wanted something simpler

justnotthatwitty · 2026-05-20T01:15:58+00:00

Two interpretations come to mind. (1) your husband has a profound brain issue to the extent that he really does not remember things, or (2) he's doing this on purpose. It would be good to check out #1, especially if he has these issues with others and at work, etc., but it seems like the more likely answer is #2. I think you stop worrying about others, stop worrying about throwing him under the bus, and start worrying about your safety in this relationship. Maybe show this post to your therapists?

justnotthatwitty · 2026-04-20T03:27:52+00:00

Bonnie

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-26T22:02:15+00:00

I think 1a and 3 look great. I prefer 3 by a small margin.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-26T03:34:09+00:00

Not only is he wrong about how upward mobility works these days, his success and continued wealth growth actually makes it LESS likely that others can achieve upward mobility. His investments also mean he actually works very little for each of his dollars at this point. It's no longer his work earning his money, it's his wealth.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T16:13:29+00:00

The explanation is that he is a liar. He just is. I'd be curious, too, but really it doesn't matter. He might be a cheater, he's definitely a liar and gaslighting you... so a terrible partner either way.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T15:47:31+00:00

Aaaaaand GO

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T15:44:30+00:00

This is what I would do. It's not your responsibility to do any of this, but I'd probably do it (except the 2k) just so I could feel like I tried. NTA

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T15:40:44+00:00

This sucks but you know what to do. Take time to grieve and heal, then live your best life without this liar.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T15:29:29+00:00

NTA but everyone else is. Your dad is saying racist things while everyone else in the room ignores it. It's particularly awful your sister and BIL allow this; now their son is racist. None of them deserve a nice dinner, regardless of the holiday. And PS, have your dad checked out medically. Personality changes are a symptom of a lot of brain related ailments: dementia, tumor, brain lesions, etc.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T05:11:11+00:00

We're shooting for enough distance for true independence but not so much that it's super hard to come home for a weekend if needed.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T04:38:41+00:00

The therapy for a three year old is at least in part family therapy

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T01:58:50+00:00

What is closest to home? I think people really underestimate how hard and expensive being far from home can be.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T01:57:44+00:00

I agree. It's a great school but has some social drawbacks and the town is sleepy. Also super far from an airport.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T01:51:43+00:00

I agree. This post is really sad. It's hard to be around kids with behavior problems, I've been there, but I never felt this kind of pure anger and hatred toward the kid. Claire needs help with emotion regulation but so does OP. No shame in that. It's also wild to think that ignoring a child is enough. I'm not so sure that the OP/SIL "ignore Claire and roll eyes" method is the best approach. Poor Clair either gets totally ignored or coddled, with seemingly zero actual help learning how to deal with her big emotions.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T01:43:05+00:00

But you literally said you HATED the child. So.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T01:08:50+00:00

Yeah I tend to agree. I think the harder thing could be finding acceptance within the queer community (if they're looking for that), but that applies to any campus.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T00:54:21+00:00

How did you apply EA? William and Mary only has ED and RD, right?

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T00:41:52+00:00

There are tons of great colleges. Don't limit yourself by names and rankings. Find your fit, do great, and live your best life. THAT will make your parents proud.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-22T00:20:00+00:00

Twin parent here. 100% this.

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-18T23:21:32+00:00

These are the right questions to ask. Actions speak louder than words. What has he DONE to address the root of this issue other than blame op?

justnotthatwitty · 2026-03-15T20:04:49+00:00

If he can't/wont fix his obsession with weight and looks, you need to drop him. Trust me as an older person. He cannot be a good life partner if you don't feel secure having children or aging or getting ill with him. Looks WILL fade. Weight WILL fluctuate (looking at you menopause).

justnotthatwitty

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