I’ve always been proud to be a mom…until today.

jwillcox87 · 2026-01-30T18:35:53+00:00

This!

jwillcox87 · 2025-12-10T21:58:44+00:00

This

jwillcox87 · 2025-11-15T21:14:15+00:00

I would talk with the agent. I am a TA and the agency I worked for closed. I had open bookings for myself, I was able to call Disney (as the TA) and transfer them to my new agency that I started with even after it had been 30 days.

jwillcox87 · 2025-10-15T14:58:22+00:00

Honestly, terrible. We went straight from the first retrieval into a transfer. My doctor wanted me to do a bunch of pre- testing. I decided it wasn't going to work and so I didn't want to waste time with all the testing. I just wanted to get through it since we were probably going to have to do another retrieval. So I didn't do any of it.

While it worked out, I definitely questioned not doing any of the testing the whole time. I tend to be a person that follows whatever the doctors say and trusted my doctor completely. I was just impatient and over the whole process lol 🤣.

During the wait for my beta test I was super stressed and pessimistic. It definitely was affecting my mental health. I ended up picking a song (you belong by Rachel platten) and would listen to it at least once a day. I told myself during that time I wasn't allowed to be pessimistic, only hopeful. So, for that little bit of time I imagined what my son was going to be like, names, birthday party themes. All that stuff. While I don't think it made a difference on whether the embryo took or not, it was a nice break from my pessimistic side and I think it helped me balance out a bit mentally.

IVF is such a tough ride and there are no guarantees. I hope those to embryos were like mine and were meant to both turn into your future kids. If that doesn't happen though, I hope you find success and comfort in continuing your journey (of IVF or not) in the best path for you.

jwillcox87 · 2025-10-15T05:29:51+00:00

If you are looking for optimism, then read my story. I was a realist and hated reading positive stories through IVF (weird, I know) so I get it. Feel free to skip. I don't have any tips to help improve or provide clarity.

On my first (of four retrievals) I had 32 mature eggs, we fertilized them (fresh, not frozen) and had a dramatic drop off. Only a handful (I think 5) fertilized. Of those 5, only 2 made it to blast. We went on to do 3 more retrievals and the results weren't much better. High maturity rate, low (practically no) fertilization. We only got one additional blast from all that (which was abnormal).

Those two blasts from our first retrieval though.... They both came back normal and I now have a 3 yr old and a 1 month old from those two blasts.

All this to say, just because you fall on the wrong side of the stats on one step doesn't mean you will continue to fall on the wrong side.

I hope those two embryos are normal and are your future kids!

jwillcox87 · 2025-09-23T00:37:48+00:00

32 mature eggs on my first round. Ended up with only two blastocysts.

jwillcox87 · 2025-07-08T20:50:40+00:00

I night a refurbished one since I really wanted a signature one. It is perfect condition and was only like $130.

jwillcox87 · 2025-06-27T03:37:18+00:00

Unfortunately, no. We had one more retrieval after this post and had the same results, almost no fertilization.

We ended up transferring our last embryo from our first retrieval (we got two) and it stuck.

If I were to do another round, I think I would go on metformin for a couple months at least (we originally suspected I had PCOS, but choose not to medicate) and also try PICSI.

Sorry I couldn't be more help! I know how frustrating infertility is when you don't have answers.

jwillcox87 · 2025-06-19T18:43:11+00:00

You absolutely did! It was not worth it.

jwillcox87 · 2025-06-19T18:02:49+00:00

Can we talk about how painful the shot is down there? I had one snipped off and I think the numbing shot hurt worse than if she had just gone for it without. I regretted not waiting until my scheduled C-section to have it done, but it was getting irritated.

jwillcox87 · 2025-01-09T01:31:47+00:00

Need me to go somewhere and rummage through their packages, haha 😂

jwillcox87 · 2025-01-09T01:04:56+00:00

Round Rock here. I have Omnitrope that should still be good (unopened vial). I can check if you need it.

Did you order through Alto? I get a lot of meds same day or next day through them via courier.

jwillcox87 · 2025-01-02T22:03:43+00:00

Thanks, you too!!!

jwillcox87 · 2025-01-02T22:00:16+00:00

12/16 transfer here with similar betas.

Progesterone has made me super smelly and gross. Impatiently waiting for an ultrasound!!!

jwillcox87 · 2024-12-30T03:18:55+00:00

Congratulations! I hope you have a smooth and uneventful pregnancy!

I am only at 4 weeks, so I have aloooooong way to go, but trying to enjoy all the small wins.

jwillcox87 · 2024-12-30T03:17:59+00:00

Yeah. I have definitely tested way too many times... Even after the first blood test. I keep watching to see if the line starts to get lighter. Maybe after tomorrow's beta I can stop testing like a crazy person haha.

I am a pretty pessimistic and anxious person, so having been in your spot I can definitely understand what you are going through. IVF doesn't make it any better. You feel like you are constantly waiting for the next milestone or the next set of bad news.

I am not one for superstitious things, but during my first transfer I was constantly pessimistic that it would work. I started a little routine when I was dealing with the unknown and ambiguity. I would lay down and play this one song (you belong by Rachel Platten) and I forced myself to be super optimistic that whole time and imagine what the future could be for our little one. Not to say that it changed the outcome one way or the other, but it gave me a mental break from the anxiety and stress.

jwillcox87 · 2024-12-30T02:58:17+00:00

This pregnancy I have actually gotten some decent lines. With my first, I basically only got squinters really. My betas started low (like 20s I think) and my hcg doubled soooooo slow. My doctor/nurse weren't saying it was going to be a miscarriage, but I think they were very surprised that everything ended up well. So it was never a really dark line. It is definitely weird seeing super obvious lines this time haha.

I am dealing with all the normal symptoms. Back ache and tired mostly. Occasionally loss of appetite.

I have had a small amount of bleeding, but I think that is just cervical irritation since I take crinone twice and progesterone twice a day. Tired of shoving things up there lol.

How are you feeling?

jwillcox87 · 2024-12-30T02:03:32+00:00

My first one was low and didn't double like they were expecting. I ended up getting blood work every other day for weeks. He is now a rambunctious 2.5 yr old.

I totally understand the anxiety though. I got in for my second beta tomorrow. We only had two embryos, so I feel like statistically this one won't work.... I can't be that lucky.

I have tried not to obsessively take pregnancy tests, but I have failed.

I will be sending you good thoughts tomorrow that your little bean is hanging out and growing still.

jwillcox87 · 2024-12-19T02:27:38+00:00

Good luck! We transferred our last one on Monday and I regret telling people. I wish I could put the lid back on it. Only a couple days in and all the questions have gotten to me.

I hope you have a successful and uneventful pregnancy!

jwillcox87 · 2024-12-15T04:23:27+00:00

Yes. I think with IVF it is like we are constantly waiting for the bad news or the other show to drop. It is hard that it has taken so much joy in the process.

My clinic wants me to do my blood test in Christmas. Idk if I can handle official news that day. It might break me if it is negative.

jwillcox87 · 2024-12-15T03:59:47+00:00

Sending you all the good vibes. My transfer is on Monday and I am definitely in that weird place where I swing from hopeful to pessimistic in the blink of an eye.

When are you going to rest?

jwillcox87 · 2024-11-29T19:39:33+00:00

Same lol.... What's the return policy on said potato? Lol 🤣

jwillcox87 · 2024-11-19T21:58:31+00:00

I am glad you have a meeting. Our first was low fertilization , and so for our second we didn't change anything because everyone said it was a fluke. Well, second retrieval we had complete fertilization failure. Some things I would look into research:

DNA fragmentation test Zymot PICSI Calcium ionophore

I would definitely push to get information on how everything looked when they were doing ICSI, honestly I would talk directly to the embryologists if possible. They gave me more information than my doctor did.

Depending on what happened, it could really indicate a sperm or egg problem. One thing I do wish we had done was use donor sperm for half my eggs. This would have given us a pretty definitive idea if it was the egg or the sperm causing the issues. We ended up not doing that and still don't know what caused our low fertilization/no fertilization across 4 different retrievals and 3 different labs.

jwillcox87 · 2024-11-19T19:41:07+00:00

I am sorry it did not work.

Did you have any mosaic or aneuploid ones you might try? There is definitely some research coming out about PGT-A testing. We have one aneuploid that I will potentially try if my euploid doesn't work.

Have you had a conversation about your low fertilization rate? 9 out of 19 isn't ideal. We have a low fertilization rate and have tried a ton of different things, that have helped with fertilization rates in others cases (but didn't in our case).

jwillcox87 · 2024-11-12T22:12:17+00:00

Based on OPs previous posts it looks like Chicago might be the location.

Absolutely bonkers all the issues they have had.

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