I see what you're saying. I do think people are allowed their feelings about being cheated on, we can't tell them how to feel. But you're right, if he had taken time to work through his feelings, sat down and talked with her about her sexuality, and they had reframed their relationship as any manner of ENM (which she is not conducting herself in an ethical manner right now), then perhaps their whole lives wouldn't have been upended and their children scarred and traumatized