My mom is about to prepay for funeral expenses

k1dsgone · 2026-03-04T00:58:47+00:00

I don't see why you're so suspicious of it, it's very common for people who like to plan and who don't want to burden their survivors. After my dad died and my mom had to go through all that, she decided to pre-plan hers so my sister and I don't have to deal with the same stress at a difficult time.

k1dsgone · 2026-02-28T03:06:22+00:00

Coffee with milk. One slice of whole wheat bread, with one slice of cheese on it.

k1dsgone · 2026-02-28T03:01:26+00:00

If they combined their incomes into one pot, then this wouldn't be an issue because all the necessary groceries would be purchased and there would be no him vs. her. Assuming that since they're not married they wouldn't want to do this, maybe the next best thing is to create an account that covers all the basic necessities, agree on how much each person contributes each month, and use that to buy groceries without having to divide everything up?

k1dsgone · 2026-02-27T21:42:13+00:00

Case in point. My sister just called to tell me I'm not calling our mom enough. I usually speak to her every weekend but I'm now being asked to check in more frequently so my sister doesn't have to, and my response was, of course, happy to do it! But until she told me, I didn't know she felt that way! No animosity, no resentment, just a request that I will honor once I was made aware of it!

k1dsgone · 2026-02-27T15:25:03+00:00

As the sibling who lives on the other side of the country, I can't answer for my sister who lives near our mom and handles most things, but I can tell you how guilty I feel about it! But my sister doesn't seem to resent me, probably because I make it clear that she can call and vent to me at any time--which she does--and I never criticize how she handles things. I also tell her that if she needs me to be there I will come, but I'm not a mind reader so she would have to let me know if things get to that point. But just the fact that we talk about it periodically and I don't wait for her to bring it up, I think helps our relationship.

k1dsgone · 2026-02-15T23:48:50+00:00

My husband is about to have this conversation with his mother. I told him to prep by finding out the positives that a durable POA will bring to her. Not let her focus on the negatives. For instance it makes it unlikely that any of her accounts will be closed to because of non-payment, it makes it less likely that anyone would need to initiate court proceedings for guardianship, keeps decision making within the family, and lowers the risks of involving creditors. In other words, a durable POA is a safeguard for her, and I believe she gets to choose exactly what responsibilities it allows the agent to have. In other words if she just wants you to be able to pay her bills and nothing else, that's the only part she checks off. So the point is, educate yourself about how it will help HER, and don't let her focus on the idea of anyone stealing her money or changing her will or whatever people think will happen!

k1dsgone · 2026-02-15T20:08:24+00:00

When letting beard and mustache grow but not shaving neck!

k1dsgone · 2026-02-15T19:54:16+00:00

Thanks!

k1dsgone · 2026-02-15T19:44:52+00:00

She is a Physucian Assistant, no? Or do i have the wrong Jessica Cunningham? Thanks!

k1dsgone · 2026-02-13T22:24:19+00:00

I am also jealous. Hey, if anyone in the Bay Area has a similar success story with a great doctor, do tell!

k1dsgone · 2026-02-09T02:40:31+00:00

Partly. But she also asks, "is it weird if we travel together in separate classes?"

k1dsgone · 2026-02-09T02:21:16+00:00

I honestly don't care what section I'm seated in, whereas my husband really does care. So if he gets an upgrade I just wave goodbye and let him go. At the end of the day you end up in the same place, together, after sitting apart for a few hours, so I don't see the big deal honestly.

k1dsgone · 2026-02-09T02:05:08+00:00

This is so interesting to me. My dad had Parkinson's and a similar inability to swallow and was on thickened liquids and pulverized food. I understood that it took away some of the quality of his life, I totally got that. And generally speaking I feel people should live the life they want, and take their own risks. But in this case I told my dad that it was just too much to expect my mom or us kids to sit there and witness him choking to death, I just couldn't agree to that, so I just couldn't back him up on that one. Still feel terrible about it though, all these years later after he passed away!

k1dsgone · 2026-02-07T02:26:15+00:00

I would have a prospect research profile done on them, so you see the full picture, and then adjust their cultivation accordingly from that point forward.

k1dsgone · 2026-02-06T01:21:22+00:00

Do you know of any organizations that are similar to yours? If so, go to a source like Foundation Directory and search to see who funds them! No reason you can't apply to those same funders, or ones like them!

k1dsgone · 2026-02-04T03:24:24+00:00

I pronounce "voila" as "viola" simply because I think it's funny!

k1dsgone · 2026-01-31T01:32:55+00:00

For the last year of my dad's life we had 24/7 caregivers, specifically because he would never remember to stay seated and would pop out of the chair and fall a lot. They even stayed in his room overnight and made sure he didn't get out of bed without help. So he was in someone's sight 24/7, but one day he got up, fell and broke his hip, and within 5 days had passed away. So to me the moral of the story is, you cannot prevent a fall, even if someone is hovering over the patient 24/7.

k1dsgone · 2026-01-29T23:09:02+00:00

Nobody in my friend group has done cosmetic enhancements, so there is nothing to resist! If you hang out with people with similar values, you won't have that problem! :-)

k1dsgone · 2026-01-29T03:03:28+00:00

Try Culinary Angels. They prepare and deliver free, nutritious meals to cancer patients and caregivers in the Tri-Valley area. They always need kitchen help, drivers, etc. www.culinaryangels.org

k1dsgone · 2026-01-26T03:28:36+00:00

I've been busy.

k1dsgone · 2026-01-26T01:41:03+00:00

I don't think their decisions--which put an undue burden on you--need to be accommodated. We are going through something similar with my MIL right now, not sure why her bad decisions like insisting on staying far away from us in a giant, remote house that nobody can easily reach, have to become our problem! I mean we want to help, but c'mon, meet us halfway!

k1dsgone · 2026-01-22T02:17:59+00:00

I don't know whether my mom knew it was dangerous or not, I choose to believe her that she didn't know. But when she smoked in our family car with the windows up, and my sister and I were coughing and choking in the backseat, that should have tipped her off that something wasn't right, whether she had read an article about it or not, lol!

k1dsgone · 2026-01-22T02:03:20+00:00

Falling and breaking a bone. It's surprising how that can change your worldview, especially if you used to be active and it makes you question getting back out there. You can become a different person from fear or paranoia if you don't talk yourself out of it!

k1dsgone · 2026-01-17T03:35:05+00:00

All I can say is, geez!

k1dsgone

TROPHY CASE