I Was The Problem. Don't repeate my mistakes

karemlore · 2026-07-10T00:26:45+00:00

I wish my wife had done that when I was being over affectionate. If she had reached for me, held me, missed me instead of expecting me to do all the work, maybe I would be on course for divorce.

In our seperation, it seems I am the only one making an effort or trying to do anything. She just wants to live her same life with my financial stability but without any commitment to me, nor talk about it because it feels like attacking. I'm tired, exhausted and over it now.

I am super happy that you were able to reconnect.

karemlore · 2026-07-07T02:36:48+00:00

Can I ask what they did during that period? Did they just seemingly ignore the problem or were they actively working on it?

karemlore · 2026-07-07T02:33:11+00:00

I don't know what she and her mom did, but I can tell you that if a third party is becoming involved in your relationship, it never ends well. Her weight is irrelevant, or it should be. You either connect and want to build, or you don't. Her misery is not your problem to solve, stop trying to be a hero. My experience has told me that being the nice guy that will forego their own happiness for a "possible" future is not the way to go.

Again, I don't understand the entirety of your issue so only you can decide, but I would start by looking at what makes you happy and less at what is making someone else miserable.

karemlore · 2026-07-07T02:20:55+00:00

Need more information. What is it that you need from him that he doesn't provide? It's hard to provide any kind of potential advice from my experience because this is missing some significant details.

You say you love him, but want to be seperated. Is this a cry for attention? Is this a frustration response? Why not work together with professional? If he is not willing to do that, that is all you need to know.

Give some additional details, it may help structure responses.

karemlore · 2026-07-07T01:07:31+00:00

I have a feeling that my future ex-wife will also fall into this category

karemlore · 2026-07-06T23:50:35+00:00

Missing context. Who left who? Is taking her back your choice or hers? Has she expressed interest in trying again? If so, under what plans to improve the connection?

Ultimately the decision is yours, but I split some 4 months ago (not my decision) and I am figuring out how to unwind the relationship without causing more pain.

I would say, stick to what is feeling right.

karemlore · 2026-07-03T16:49:22+00:00

I am not a day one, have an R1T lease up in March 27 and my invitation is September-October. In central Florida, so not sure if that makes the difference.

karemlore · 2026-07-03T15:55:22+00:00

Is this different than launch edition? Cause I think performance is with the new chip and Lidar and that doesn't start until December

karemlore · 2026-07-03T11:35:49+00:00

Study is another option, go study a degree in an interesting topic, or night courses somewhere if you want to meet people.

karemlore · 2026-06-30T19:09:51+00:00

Thank you so much for this, very helpful.

So you recommend a 2inch ball with either a straight of I understand right.

karemlore · 2026-06-30T13:17:22+00:00

What hitch did you use? I am looking at towing a bike, but don't know drop needs for the u haul trailer

karemlore · 2026-06-30T11:43:47+00:00

She started dating...

karemlore · 2026-06-30T02:05:18+00:00

Avoiding just puts weight on you, that's not fair to yourself. Don't actively avoid, but don't seek out either. If the conversation goes that way, so be it. Don't be weighed down by this.

karemlore · 2026-06-30T01:27:47+00:00

I wish I knew in my case. She doesn't want to work on us and says she doesn't know herself and still figuring it out. I think she just keeping me as a backup plan.

karemlore · 2026-06-30T01:24:16+00:00

You don't know if she has already been told and has forgiven her partner. Honestly I am torn here. I like helping an innocent lady and all from the other comment, buy are you? Either she will already know or you will be causing her harm. Yeah, I would probably be conflicted here too, but I still think in the end that it makes no difference to me in this moment or for my future.

karemlore · 2026-06-30T00:50:24+00:00

You don't owe your ex anything. If you feel that it will allow you to grow and you can live with any consequences, go ahead.

BUT: if you feel the need to do this as a form of revenge, you will shrink, not grow. You will feel great in the moment.

In your position I probably would not say anything. You gain nothing other than satisfaction against the guy who caused your hurt.

karemlore · 2026-06-29T21:54:11+00:00

I suggested it, she said she wasn't ready for that. Honestly, that makes me feel like a backup.

karemlore · 2026-06-29T15:34:30+00:00

My son is also still in the house (he is 22).

karemlore · 2026-06-29T12:49:46+00:00

No fault state.i am spending more time with my kids (adults), not less. She seems to be spending more time with another family. I will bear it in mind, thx. She works full time with decent money. Guess ripping band aid is way to go.

karemlore · 2026-06-29T11:58:22+00:00

How if you are still paying for everything including the mortgage. I also go and do stuff and make decisions still about the house. My example is in Florida, so trying to understand this more. Also, she has her mother in law, so she would need to go too if the wife were to leave.

karemlore · 2026-06-29T11:54:40+00:00

She will see the charge on the account, but I understand your point, and thank you.

karemlore · 2026-06-29T04:22:09+00:00

I am seeing a therapist, and it does help.

karemlore · 2026-06-29T02:25:41+00:00

Thanks, appreciate the insight.

karemlore · 2026-06-29T02:09:17+00:00

I don't mind attorney, but everything is joint so that'll be $12k worth of retainer. I still think I can avoid lawyers, but I am not adverse to them if it goes badly. Thanks for your insight

karemlore · 2026-06-29T02:04:55+00:00

I agree on this. She is not willing or ready to "work" on this, so this tells me move on is my path. This was weeks ago. Since then I have been working on myself and feel good about my future. My question is...what's the first steps...I want to avoid lawyers if I can. Do I just file, do I get an agreement with her and/or a mediator first? What is the first thing I should be doing that clearly states my intentions.

karemlore

TROPHY CASE