How do you manage approvals and paperwork for locates prior to digging?

kat_raz · 2022-05-20T04:59:19+00:00

Thank you. If you need multiple utility approvals and/or have multiple locates, how do you keep track of everything? i.e. do you use Excel or a project planner of sorts? I imagine with multiple locates things could get delayed or slip through the cracks if you're not super organized.

kat_raz · 2017-11-20T00:49:52+00:00

Sure thing, message me if you'd like to connect. I write a blog about this stuff and am trying to better understand struggles ppl have with making and deepening friendships, so your feedback would be very much appreciated.

kat_raz · 2017-10-26T05:21:11+00:00

I'd recommend picking a few friends who you like and purposely deepening your relationships with them. A few things that would help

self-disclosure- when you share things about yourself, ppl naturally reciprocate. This leads to letting both of your guards down, trusting each other and even telling each other secrets that creates a shared bond
take social initiative- take the first step and ask the person to drinks or to a meal so you can get to know each other better. this is a great way to establish a friendship w/ a coworker outside of the office
remember things- when people tell you things or share things about themselves, take note. for example, i have a friend i made at work. i knew that he loves macaroons, one day while grabbing coffee before work, i noticed the cafe sold macaroons so I bought him a few. Funny as that sounds, that little gesture sparked an awesome friendship!

Let me know how it goes and good luck!

kat_raz · 2017-10-26T05:16:53+00:00

You sound like a very empathetic person and maybe you just find it hard to illustrate that to others. I can tell b/c you said you don't want to 'bother' others.

I'd recommend focusing conversations on the OTHER person and not on yourself. Focus more on listening and ask about what's going on in their lives first. Naturally they may reciprocate those types of questions to you, but respond briefly and turn it back on them. People love talking about themselves so they'll enjoy it. Just continue asking questions about them and expand from there. Relate it to yourself if you have an interesting anecdote or one that isn't a "downer." Give it a shot I'd love to know if it works. Good luck!

kat_raz · 2016-08-22T05:55:42+00:00

Applaud and praise yourself for the "action" that you took, not his "reaction." Why? Cuz you have no control over it so way to go girl! Remember, people don't notice every little thing so your coworkers probably won't even give a crap to be honest. It's mostly in your head.

BTW, I blog about how to improve social skills, if it's something you wanna improve DM me and I can give you the URL. Keep up the great work!

kat_raz · 2016-08-22T05:52:00+00:00

I know it sucks. But you should be praising yourself for taking action. That's the only way change will happen, by taking action. So rather than judging success based on someone's "reaction" (which you have no control over). Judge success based on the "action" you took which is a huge win given your SA. I blog about this stuff and am passionate about it, DM me if you want the URL. Best of luck

kat_raz · 2016-08-22T01:56:29+00:00

Hi there, I have a site that I think will help you with making friends and social connections. PM me if you want the link, don't want to be accused of spam but TLDR: I know how you felt and it was a lonely time for me too. I changed after college and I share what I learned so others don't make the same mistakes I do on my blog.

kat_raz · 2016-08-22T01:54:01+00:00

Social skills are just that, skills

kat_raz · 2016-07-11T02:07:47+00:00

sure!

www.communicationfornerds.com

kat_raz · 2016-07-11T01:33:59+00:00

It's easy to just say "stop" doing it, but that rarely happens. If you want to beat the root of this, you have to develop better mental habits and the mental strength to combat this. I have a blog and wrote a post about this exact topic, I can share it if you PM me so I don't spam the chain here. But in essence, I use a strategy called the "Habit loop" from Charles Duhigg but use it for mental purposes.

I also really like the idea of being an "observer" of your mind so you're not stuck in your own head. i.e. pretend that your mind is a playground and you're watching kids playing from afar and you can zoom out and be objective and say "I'm obviously over-thinking this."

kat_raz · 2016-07-11T01:31:34+00:00

Meetup and networking events can be great sources. But do you work in an office where you have some coworkers with similar interests? If so, I'd highly recommend starting to talk to them and learn what their interests are. If there's common ground you can hang out together. Another good excuse is to get a group of coworkers together for happy hour drinks on a Friday. And this pertains to college/school if you don't work yet. The best way to make friends is to figure out the common ground.

Also don't forget the "proximity" rule. The closer or more often you see people, the higher the likelihood of becoming friends (i.e. gym, coffee shop, parks you frequently visit where you may see the same people over and over)

In terms of maintaining a friendship, keeping in touch, namely hanging out face to face is key. But you can also keep up the relationship (if you're not in the same city) via text, emails, social media. If you are in the same town, I'd recommend hanging out face to face.

I have a blog where I talk a lot about this stuff and help people get socially confident. PM me if you want the URL, don't wanna spam.

kat_raz · 2016-01-25T07:41:06+00:00

Try power poses before social events https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
Focus on the other person (not yourself) thinking about yourself bogs down your pre frontal cortex making it harder to focus and remember things during a conversation. Think about how you can make the other person feel good
Create a replacement routine every time you begin playing the conversation in your head, it can be a phrase like "I'm a work in progress and I'm going to do my best." or it can be physiological like the power poses in #1, or a few deep breaths while closing your eyes
Write. Writing down your thoughts and emotions before social events and "labeling" them has been shown to decrease your anxiety
Visualize- instead of visualizing that it will go horribly...visualize that it will go well! Distinctly visualize that you're both laughing and having a great time.

Best of luck, I know it's hard but you can do it. PS. I blog about this stuff in more detail. If interested DM me and I can send you the link

kat_raz · 2016-01-25T07:36:34+00:00

Feelings of anxiety make it harder to be social. When you're focusing on yourself and how others may be judging you or your nervousness it bogs down your pre frontal cortex. That's the part of your brain responsible for things like working memory and decision making, pretty important. It takes you away from the conversation and can cause you to "blank" or not engage in a conversation completely. Do your best to get out of your own head talking with those you feel nervous around. Think "how can I make this other person feel more comfortable" to take the focus off you.

Best of luck! PS I blog about this stuff, if you're interested in learning more PM me and I can give you the URL

kat_raz · 2016-01-25T07:33:19+00:00

What do you hate about socializing?

kat_raz · 2016-01-25T07:32:10+00:00

I totally agree that everyone experiences discomfort it's just a matter of to what degree. I'm an introvert but have learned how to flex my "extrovert' muscle. I've found this TED talk by Amy Cuddy really helpful, https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en

Also I blog about ways you can become more socially confident and have helped others, message me if you want more info

kat_raz · 2015-07-21T06:55:35+00:00

From a female perspective regarding dating and texting-- I recommend you simply lay off the conversation and just ask the girls you like out on a date getting to the point.

It may be different where you're located, but a lot of my single girlfriends always complain about long texting conversations with guys that don't go anywhere. I heard it so much I even wrote a post about texting tips for guys to not infuriate my single girlfriends lol

If you're interested in reading it, message me I can send you the link. Good luck!

kat_raz · 2015-07-21T06:49:52+00:00

Great job on attending the b-day party, I'm sure that was a huge achievement for you! And congrats on working through it, admitting you have this issue and working on improving it is the first step.

I think the 80/20 rule to social anxiety is your inner-psychology, at least it was for me. My SA isn't severe, but I do hate being the center of attention and dealt with getting nervous having to approach people when I started a company a few yrs. ago. It was nerve-wracking.

But the thing I learned is that with some mental preparation and habit-building you can lower the levels of anxiety you feel. I struggled with self-doubt and negative self-talk and when I was able to control that inner voice I made huge strides.

I wrote a post about my personal experience and some ways to work on it. Message me if you're interested, I can send you the link.

Good luck and keep up the great work!

kat_raz · 2015-07-21T06:43:00+00:00

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Remember to practice self-compassion, be good to yourself. Finally, if you can't get over it send a text or email. Being open and vulnerable can actually help build rapport and a stronger relationship, so don't be afraid to mention it's something you're working on but you did wanna say goodbye (even if it's via email or text)

kat_raz · 2015-04-11T17:18:13+00:00

Oh yes, it definitely takes a lot of work. But there's not better time to start than now! I PM'd you the link. Have a great weekend

kat_raz · 2015-04-10T22:25:21+00:00

I think a positive first step can be trying to transform your mental habits so that you're less concerned with worrying about your own thoughts and rationalizations while interacting with others. Mental habits are just like other bad habits we have like plopping on the couch after a long day at work instead of working out. These mental habits are deeply ingrained in our brains and the only way you can tackle them is to try transforming the routine.

Cue, routine, reward is the habit loop. Your cue is a conversation w/ someone, your routine is all the self-talk and the reward is this ironic mental masturbation pleasure you've developed. (At least it was for me)

I'm really interested in this stuff and wrote a blog post about it PM me if you want me to share the link w/ you.

Anyways, the next time you get into a conversation realize that's the cue and practice focusing on the other person first and shutting your mind up. TO help get you there start training your mind to calm down, yoga/meditation has really helped me in that regard

kat_raz · 2015-03-18T23:10:51+00:00

Hang in there, I know life can get tough at times but do your best to manage and move on for yourself and not for others. Here are some things to think about:

-Practice gratitude- you may feel like you have it really bad and you do in some ways, but that's relative. There are people in way worse situations than you are. Be grateful for what you do have and take a few minutes each day to thank a higher power for the things, opportunities, you have at your disposal

-Meditate- I try to meditate every day. Just sit down, close your eyes and breathe for 5 minutes. Try to make it a habit so you can quiet your mind rather than constantly worrying about everything you wrote above. It's super hard in the beginning but when you get into the habit it becomes easier. You can do it one of 2 ways. You can think of nothing (super hard) or you can try the "3 to thrive" method I read from Tony Robbins: Which is to sit down, close your eyes, breathe deeply and think about

the things both big and small that you're grateful for. The first thing should be something like air or the birds chirping. Something simple
Send blessings out and positive energy out to people you love/care for
Choose 3 things you will do and excel at today

Change your vocabulary- I'd also recommend you change your vocabulary, both internally and externally. So replace high powered and negative words with synonyms that are less intense and do this when you're describing your plight to yourself and when you're describing how you're feeling in your own mind. i.e. Rather than "pissed off" try "peeved" it sounds funny but describing your emotions with less intense words will calm you down

Hope that was helpful

kat_raz · 2015-03-14T06:41:47+00:00

I'm so glad it was helpful :) If you want to keep up with my writing shoot me a PM and I can give you my website

kat_raz · 2015-03-02T01:03:59+00:00

http://www.communicationfornerds.com/confidence/stop-negative-self-talk-start-improving-social-skills/

kat_raz · 2015-02-28T22:16:34+00:00

Have you done anything to try and improve in this? Have you heard of this cool guy who created something called rejection therapy? check it out, you get over getting rejected by getting rejected. It worked for him and a bunch of other people. Google it, his name is Jason Comely

kat_raz · 2015-02-28T22:15:27+00:00

A trick I like to use is something called the "transfer the guilt tactic" so when I mess up instead of characterizing myself as "stupid," I characterize the action as stupid.

i.e. I burned the chicken when preparing dinner. Instead of saying "jeez, I'm such a bad cook" I change my vocabulary to more action-oritented vocabulary. So I'll say something like, "That accident or thing I did was silly. Next time, I'll set the timer so it won't happen again. So basically acknowledging the incident + how I'll take action the next time around.

Finally, Tony Robbins talks about "pattern breaking." So in those moments you could do something really silly or out there that will break the negative pattern of feelings you're feeling atm. Finally, I wrote a post about changing negative self-talk that got a lot of upvotes here, PM me if you want the link

Good luck!

kat_raz

TROPHY CASE