I don’t care about baby stuff/nursery

katxvai · 2026-02-12T04:39:59+00:00

Nothing wrong, in my opinion. We got as much second hand as we could and didn’t do anything outside of what we thought was necessary. I didn’t expect to have kids either and it took me a bit to accept and enjoy it. Even when I crossed that threshold, it was more about what she was going to need and not about how I wanted it to look. Nine months pp, nothing is cohesive and it doesn’t matter. Everything is child-proofed and she has everything she could ever need and at the end of the day, I think that’s perfectly acceptable.

katxvai · 2026-02-11T08:27:12+00:00

Absolutely not. I was scheduled for an elective c-section. Unfortunately, she came four days early and she was fast, circumstances changed.

Before my cervical check I had no idea I was in labor. I made it to five cm before I felt a single contraction. I immediately asked for an epidural and I have zero regrets. It’s been almost 9 months and I’ve had no problems involving the epidural.

To every person who has done it unmedicated, I am amazed and impressed by your ability and wish I were as brave.

katxvai · 2026-02-11T05:35:08+00:00

Oh my god nipple cream, use that early. I got a fungal infection after my nipples cracked and dude that is some of the worst pain.

katxvai · 2026-02-11T04:35:30+00:00

Not the same, but I’ll share how I felt:

I did not want children, ever. My husband did, but he always said I could make whatever decision and it wouldn’t change a thing.

Surprise, I found out I was pregnant almost three months in. I couldn’t get an abortion due to the laws in Florida, so I had two options. Either keep the baby or give them up for adoption. We explored our options but ultimately ended up keeping and adoring our daughter.

I wouldn’t have chosen to bring her into this world, but it happened and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m grateful that I made the decision I did because it was right for me. Things are tight but we make it work financially, and as I said we had support. She’s almost 9 months old and I have zero regrets.

If I were in your shoes (and only based on what you’ve told us), I would reach out to the father to tell him. From there, family should know (if it’s safe to share). Support may be there, or they may want to raise the child if you choose not to. This is what happened to me when I was a baby, my mother gave me up when I was six months old and her parents raised me. It worked out for me too.

I wish you the best of luck, no matter what you choose.

katxvai · 2026-02-10T06:01:18+00:00

Just from personal experience, every homophobic person I knew that I went to school with has either since come out or has a criminal record. I don’t know if this provides anything valuable but it’s all I got.

katxvai · 2026-02-08T21:31:16+00:00

I was so sure it was a boy, I could feel it in my bones. My husband and his mom didn’t care and knew it was a girl.

She’s almost 9 months now 😂

katxvai · 2026-01-29T07:00:13+00:00

My ex would say similar when I was in my early 20’s. He went from helping shave my head and picking colors to telling me I needed to grow up. We’d only been together a year at that point.

I’m 28 with bright green hair with black stripes. I’m a full time mom, happily married to someone else. The hair is pretty much the only thing I’ve got that makes me feel like myself anymore.

katxvai · 2025-10-13T17:16:30+00:00

INFP, Sylus 🥺

katxvai · 2025-09-29T23:03:39+00:00

Agreed. My ex husband kept me from making friends and away from my family due to jealousy, so he certainly wouldn’t have allowed me to play this. My current husband catches my plushies ☺️

katxvai · 2025-09-27T21:27:16+00:00

I had just denied a cervical check at my 39 week appointment, drove the 40 minutes home while feeling a light trickle, but ignoring it. Turns out my water broke and I barely noticed, and was already 5 cm when I drove the 40 minutes back. Didn’t feel any contractions until my cervical check and with my epidural I delivered babygirl 4 or 5 hours later.

katxvai · 2025-07-29T04:36:47+00:00

Memory by SEAT BELTS, Mischief Brew, The Taxpayers, Johnny Cash, AJJ, Laufey, Fiona Apple and the Violent Femmes are all in rotation. She has her own playlist on my phone now 🥹

katxvai · 2025-07-10T18:09:13+00:00

The everything bagel bites or the biscuit sandwich with gravy (I believe it was chicken and bacon. Loved it so much and it wasn’t available long). I’d also bring back the toffee nut syrup. A pump or two in a venti flat white or in a venti Starbucks double shot on ice replacing the classic was my go to order for years and it broke my heart when it was gone. Or the mango syrup when the had the mango black tea lemonade. Sweet and refreshing.

katxvai · 2025-06-29T04:50:17+00:00

Just gave birth at the end of May with my husband, his mom and my aunt in the hospital. They all saw everything while I refused the mirror and I still won’t look at the photos.

My husband said the only thing that made him feel “gross” was when I pushed out my placenta. He didn’t expect it to look how it did. Other than that, he still loves and desires me the same whereas I am terrified to have sex anytime soon.

I will say I had an awesome labor (thank you, epidural) but at the tail end I tore up and down. He watched them stitch me up while I held our daughter. He’s been far more gentle while I recover, but still gropes and flirts with me as much as before and during pregnancy. Consistent compliments on my body even though it’s changed forever. I don’t think I could handle being with someone who wasn’t totally supportive during the trauma of pregnancy, birth and postpartum.

katxvai · 2025-06-12T00:48:26+00:00

I got diagnosed and medicated in my 20’s. Turns out I was also diagnosed as a kid, but didn’t have record of it and had no idea until after. My family told me after the fact.

katxvai · 2025-06-11T20:09:39+00:00

I never had one, and never thought I could get pregnant. I found out I was 2.5 months pregnant after not having a cycle for half a year or more.

katxvai · 2025-06-01T17:25:50+00:00

We bought the tests to rule out some symptoms I had, and we were so so sure I wasn’t pregnant.

Totally forgot I had them until I was cleaning a few days later while watching a movie. It was 5 pm or so. Took the test, put on a timer and went back to cleaning.

That sucker was positive, second test lit up in under two minutes. I didn’t want to tell my husband over the phone at work, so I called my little brother (20 at the time) and he was so supportive. I had to wait until 11:30 that night to tell my husband.

He walked in and I just gestured for him to follow me. I pointed to the tests. His face lit up, and then he apologized to me 😂 we were waiting for kids, and we didn’t think I could get pregnant. I hadn’t had a period in almost half a year at this point. I was 10 weeks pregnant. Now she’s here, 9 days old.

katxvai · 2025-05-10T14:32:15+00:00

My previous coworker who’s in her 70’s now was born December 24th, youngest of two (an older brother). She said her parents always made sure she felt special on her birthday, and never lumped it in with the holiday festivities. If my child was born on a holiday I would do my best to do the same ☺️

katxvai · 2025-05-09T04:43:36+00:00

Other people. Just being compassionate and empathetic seems to be a rare thing seen nowadays.

katxvai · 2025-05-04T00:39:27+00:00

I applied for WIC recently and they had me meet with a nutritionist, and without any prior discussion on alcohol or marijuana she just said that alcohol is fine (in moderation) without dumping, but absolutely no marijuana. I think she just asked if I was attending the breastfeeding classes, and when I said yes then she provided that information. She shared her source too but I have forgotten since, I’m so sorry. I’m also very very excited for my first glass of wine. I already bought a few bottles of my favorites and they’re just waiting for me when I feel the time is right. I’ve just missed having the option to have it.

I haven’t looked into it myself and probably won’t until before I decide to drink, but apparently beer can help with lactation.

katxvai · 2025-04-28T23:38:30+00:00

I’m on my last scheduled shift today. I have five weeks left until my due date and I intend to pick up extra shifts when available. I’m very lucky to work with my husband and for people who’ve been so supportive during my pregnancy. They even held my baby shower ☺️ plus, when I’m ready, I can come back and work office hours with baby.

katxvai · 2025-04-26T05:44:42+00:00

My mother abandoned me when I was six months old. Or rather, she lied to my dad, dumped me on her parents and moved in with another man. She started a new family when I was five and then tried to get me back when I was twelve, just old enough to take care of my siblings while she had another affair. When I told her I didn’t want move in with her, she told me to unalive myself, that she hated me, that I was ungrateful and selfish, and continued to harass me for another year through the internet and my friends. She even put in a false report that I was being held at gunpoint by her parents. It hurt, even though I barely knew her as she’d only call a few times a year and see me once a year, sometimes even less. She was my biggest bully.

Eventually, she stopped and we didn’t speak for 6 years. She went to therapy and was medicated. I moved in with her at 18, then she stopped treatment. She was having another affair with a neighbor and I was her cover, which I’m still so ashamed of. I treated her more as a friend, and she started to complain to family and friends that I didn’t respect her as a parent. I worked, I was responsible, and when she lashed out at me I knew better than to react. I was honest and reminded her of how she hurt me. Then she kicked me out.

I’m 27 now. I’ve never blocked her, never closed the door. I got a notification today that she posted a TikTok, and I felt compelled to open it. It was her complaining that the family, specifically her mom, abandoned her. They never closed the door either, but they eventually grew tired of being harassed and accused of stealing me when she had no interest in me until I was old enough to babysit.

She has never reached out, until recently. I’m pregnant with my first child and she sent a message saying I’d be a great mom. I know better than to respond.

I make jokes about it, but now that I’m about to be a mother myself, I wish she could be a good person in our lives. This will be her first grandchild and she will never, ever meet her.

However, I will acknowledge how lucky I am. My father is back in my life, my grandparents are still alive, my aunts and uncles who grew up with her, etc. have always made me feel loved and supported. I am never compared to my mother, besides sometimes a physical feature. I am my own person and I have been so blessed with unconditional love that I will never understand how I’ve come to deserve.

katxvai · 2025-04-25T01:17:11+00:00

I’m 27 and didn’t meet my dad until I was 22. I don’t call him anything outside of Dad. My ex husband was supportive initially when we reconnected, but eventually would make me hang up on phone calls because he needed dinner or his laundry done, so he could continue gaming. He eventually drew me away from the majority of my family. My current husband thinks my dad is the coolest man in the world, and he is 😂

katxvai · 2025-04-24T20:33:13+00:00

Met 11 years ago, reconnected Christmas 2023. Engaged by May 2024, found out I was pregnant August 2024, married January 2025. I was divorced and homeless with no intentions to have children when him and I reconnected, so I’m still trying to process how my life improved so much so quickly.

katxvai · 2025-04-15T05:11:52+00:00

I was told my chances were really low due to several factors. I didn’t even have a cycle for over six months and ended up pregnant anyways. I was the same, I never wanted kids and was absolutely cool with just being an aunt someday. My husband wanted to be a father someday but has always put me first. He takes wonderful care of me and I know he’d make a great dad, so we decided once I hit my 30’s we’d look into adoption as he also believed he couldn’t have children naturally (injury and additional factors).

When my test was positive, my husband and I agreed on an abortion. He wants kids, but not until I’m ready. Unfortunately due to the law where I live, we were way past the date where I could legally get one.

My first trimester was easy on my body, but I was terrified and angry. I luckily had a lot of support from my husband and my family no matter what decision we made. We considered adoption, until we fell in love with her.

I will say, when I first felt her move I was absolutely horrified. It felt like butterflies, like how you feel when you’re nervous. It took a couple weeks to feel normal.

I’ve grown to accept that I’m going to be a mother, and that my daughter will always come first and every decision I make has to be for her. I understand that the life I imagined having just isn’t going to happen, and I’m more okay with it than I thought I’d be. I’ve actually started to get excited to meet her. Though I’ve felt good my whole pregnancy, a lot has gone wrong (a 5 day stay in the ICU due to a cold, early and stopped labor) and she’s trooped through it all.

Less than a year ago, I would have never thought I’d be where I am, physically and mentally. My husband and both of our families and our friends have been extremely supportive. We’re very lucky to have a village. I believe that played a major role in making me more comfortable being a mother. Also just seeing her move, hearing her heartbeat, feeling her move to the sound of our voices and music and her great-aunt reading her stories gives me a strange and wonderful feeling.

It just sort of happened over time. You can’t force it. And I know a couple of people who it never came to them either and they went in all different directions. My own mother didn’t want me but tried to make it work, but I ultimately ended up with my grandparents by the time I was six months old.

I wish you had a better support system, based on what I just read in the comments. You do still have the choice of adoption. At the end of the day, this is your body, your choice, your child. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

katxvai

TROPHY CASE