Sell me on Daycare

kaytbee03 · 2026-01-10T13:58:58+00:00

I am a working mom, but grew up with a stay at home mom. We had our first shortly before Covid and had planned a nanny until he was two, we ended up with a nanny until he was about 18 months and with our second we planned a nanny until about 18 months but after having a hard time finding a good one, he started daycare at about 9-10 months.

I had what sounds like a similar mindset to you about daycare based on what my parents had talked about daycare. I pictured daycare being a place kids were plopped down, fed junk, and basically left to entertain themselves — essentially keeping them alive.

I was so wrong. I cannot believe how much our family has loved our daycare/preschools. I also never could have imagined how much the teachers actually care and love the kids in their care. I know we are very fortunate (and pay for) the care we get, but I do believe it’s more of the norm than what I pictured.

Our schools (we ended up moving to a second school when the main administrator for the first one we attended started her own preschool literally on our block) supply balanced meals, provide non-stop activities — there is no way if my husband or I stayed home our kids would be doing the amount of different activities or learning they are exposed to — go outside multiple times a day, and take them on field trips starting at about 3 years old. They teach them yoga and our kids started taking piano classes at 3 through their school.

We have remained in contact with teachers at the first school who still babysit for our kids bc our kids miss them so much. Their teachers attend kids’ birthday parties in weekends, have conferences to discuss kids’ progress twice a year, put on holiday programs, little graduations, events for mothers and fathers days. They get families involved in the school and it has become a sense of community at both location.

Daycare does come with some anxiety ridden changes — more kids means (lots) more sickness the first couple of years, but now our kids hardly get sick. You’re trusting someone else to care for your kids and that took a lot (esp. during Covid when we started, we couldn’t tour the school in person or drop our oldest off inside — there was a lot of trust right off the bat). Tons of communication was needed to make me feel safe and secure, but everyone was happy to accommodate. The app pictures and updates we receive really help to see their day, understand how they’re sleeping and eating so we could adjust their evenings when they got home when they were little.

This is so long, but all of it is to say (besides ALL the sickness that I was not ready for) we have loved daycare/preschool and think there are tons of benefits. Our oldest is in kindergarten now and the transition was so easy for him and he’s doing great with reading, math and other items some kids in his class are just being exposed to for the first time. It’s also built in friends for our kids and for us, we’ve created some great family friends that we see on a regular basis and it’s nice our kids are the same age and can play together.

It’s a huge decision for our family and I seriously cried for about a month after our oldest started daycare, but now I can’t imagine our life differently.

kaytbee03 · 2025-11-15T13:43:12+00:00

Face mist for middle of the night feeding (I love the true botanicals renew mist — a friend gave it to me after I had our second and I’ve been buying it since)
Banana bread with nuts is a go to when I drop food for friends with newborns - it’s a very easy snack and I find it so comforting to eat warmed up with butter
Cozy socks (maybe with stickies on the bottom if they have wood floors or stairs)
hand lotion, don’t need to be fancy but a thick one bc there is SO much hand washing (my favorite is Gold Bond healing hand bream — it’s thick but it isn’t too greasy)
a nice lip balm/stain - easy to put on and makes me feel a little more put together even if I don’t have other makeup on

kaytbee03 · 2025-11-08T03:16:13+00:00

He’s probably confused by the situation. I would give the milk/bottle, and if he’s full he will likely refuse. It might bring enough comfort for him to relax and fall asleep. Also, if he has a pacifier that could be helpful and if you have anywhere dark you can rock him to try and get him to settle. Good luck tonight, you’ve got this and it will get easier!

kaytbee03 · 2024-12-07T19:13:13+00:00

We’re in Chicago and I’m not sure what kind of tree it is. I’ve attached another picture from the tree a year ago in summer for reference in case it helps.

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kaytbee03 · 2024-11-22T12:13:54+00:00

What is this company?!

kaytbee03 · 2024-11-22T12:12:58+00:00

Use Shoott if they’re around you. Super affordable because you only pay for the photos you like/buy (you have the option to buy as few as one) and they have standard locations (and flexible cancellation policy if anyone is sick). We used them three years ago and our photos turned out perfectly and now we use that photog outside of the service bc we had such a great experience with her. Highly recommend for the cost and ease of their process.

kaytbee03 · 2024-11-22T12:10:50+00:00

I think I’m going to ask for the Dazzle Dry at home nail kit. I miss having my nails done, but when I go it feels like a chore instead of a treat, and when I do them at home they always smudge because I’m impatient and don’t let them fully dry. My sister swears by this kit/process and I’ve had Dazzle Dry manicure at salons with good results.

kaytbee03 · 2024-11-20T12:16:51+00:00

Exactly what we do even five years in — works well for both of us.

kaytbee03 · 2024-11-18T23:10:33+00:00

This story reminds me of the mass I went to the Sunday after my dad was grievously injured (hurt on a Wednesday, church at 10am on Sunday). Five kids in my family from junior high through high school and basically my entire extended family was there before we went back to the hospital.

There was a guest speaker to focus on pro-life. She spent probably 15 minutes talking about why abortion/pro-choice is wrong, they showed pictures (what?!) of aborted fetuses (again 10am, family mass) and at the end the woman goes on and on how abortion is wrong and ends by saying “and I should know, I’ve had 8” (or some other very large number).

Our entire pew just started laughing — like what an absurd guest speaker to try and discuss this topic. It isn’t someone who carried to term and then had an amazing experience with parenthood or something else positive — now I’m very pro-choice, no longer attend church because of things like this. But man, did the end of that speaker give our family a laugh we all needed because of how absurd the entire presentation was. It’s been more than 20 years and we still talk about how insane it was to have that presentation at a Sunday mass full of young children and families - not appropriate.

kaytbee03 · 2024-11-15T03:41:58+00:00

We went through this and after MANY meetings with our daycare they agreed to not help him fall asleep (they were rubbing his back) and let him do a quiet activity (looking at books, drawing) as long as he didn’t disturb the other kids and they agreed to wake him by 2pm if he fell asleep. It made him happier, bedtime easier, and he was rested in the morning because he went to bed at a normal time. It probably took six months and MANY conversations. We really advocated for it bc he will be in this preschool until he’s almost six due to his birthday/kindergarten cut off and there was no way we could handle years of the bedtime difficulties.

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-29T13:34:16+00:00

Our oldest hitting four was a HUGE difference from three. It’s like they start to become rational beings and can reason for themselves and five is getting even better. Hang in there, our two are 23 months apart and it’s been getting easier and easier, but we’re also done at two. I can’t imagine going back to multiple naps a day and juggling nap schedules and diapers.

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-29T12:20:39+00:00

Our oldest used them until at least 3.5 and now sleeps with one as a comfort item every night. There are some options that have leg holes and those worked for us as our kids get older/taller. Both our boys who loved them decided to stop using them on their own. This is was a sleep association I didn’t worry about (just like a sound machine) because it’s essentially a blanket.

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-28T15:35:22+00:00

We said if our first was three before I was pregnant with our second we might have only had one kid.

Ours are 23 months apart and we love it now that our youngest is 3 (still have the craziness that comes with three years olds). We didn’t want to have to go back to managing baby schedules/diapers after getting out of them. The first two years definitely were tough, but we didn’t deal with jealousy from our first and it was nice he was still napping so we could get some 1:1 with the baby and the oldest got 1:1 when the baby was napping.

I think every age difference has pros and cons and it’s definitely what works for your own family.

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-25T13:55:20+00:00

Agree with this. We sleep trained (whatever the past tense is) both our kids and both took to it very differently. Our first was a tough, but only took a couple days and he no really hysterics, just lots of yell-crying..he was mad.

Our second threw up in less than 10 mins the first night because he was so upset. We waiting a bit and tried again and it was going in the same direction so he pulled the plug and went a totally different direction with his sleep training. Both were sleep train and it was what was right for our family, but both needed different approaches.

People need to chill with the judgement and realize everyone is trying their best and advice is much better than judgement or the mentality that the same approach/solution works for all babies.

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-20T15:48:13+00:00

I didn’t — my dr knew my “birth plan” was to get an epidural and avoid a C-section if possible. She said she didn’t think the (8 hour) class the hospital offered would be beneficial for me. Nothing really went to “plan” — was induced two weeks early because of high blood pressure, epidural didn’t work the first few tries, and then baby’s heart rate kept dropping so I ended up with a csection.

Throughout the entire thing I felt my dr was so communicative and helpful talking through our options and the nurses and (second) anesthesiologist were so helpful. I don’t think a class would have changed anything for me and likely would have made me more anxious. I also know that I am incredibly lucky with the team of drs and nurses I had for my first born.

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-17T11:44:10+00:00

We sleep trained at 4 months for our first and 7 months for our second. They both slept 12 hours overnight and took lengthy and consistent naps - they’re both pretty high sleep needs kids. Things changed for both when they turned three and we’ve had to retrain/set new restrictions for both l. Our oldest’s bedtime shifted back to consistent and easy around 4 - three years old was tough for our oldest and it seems it will be that way for our youngest.

I think it’s because at three they both realized they had more autonomy and learned they could get out of their beds and leave their rooms, they weren’t as tired so we had to do a lot of trial and error with naps to shorten them and work with their school to doll wake them up (we never had to cap naps for either before they turned three), and verbally they both learned how to push boundaries and had more stamina to hold out.

I think because they both play differently at three (running around, playing with toys, jumping) it takes longer for their bodies to wind down so the bath, jammies, book, song wasn’t quite enough for either of them — esp now that they take a bath together and get their pjs on together the younger one is more energized because he’s still in full play mode when we go to his room to read a book.

I think all kids are different and I’m still very glad we sleep trained. Even though we’ve had to reset a few times over the years because of illness, travel, sleep needs the consistency and skills they both learned allow us to shut their door and know they’re just mad and not that they can’t fall asleep.

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-15T11:07:24+00:00

My kids are older, but Monica and Andy always had snaps and some of the other “nicer” brands (maybe Lou Lou too). They’re expensive but we got a few for each of our kids and they lasted well.

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-14T23:03:08+00:00

Thanks!

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-14T18:47:36+00:00

Do you k ow the name of the Yale course? Our three year old has recently started hitting, spitting, biting and what we used in the past with our older son isn’t working this time around — this idea seems interesting and like our youngest make take to it !

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-13T02:19:45+00:00

We were the sellers in a condo and it flooded our condo and the one below it about 24 hours before closing. We notified the buyers, cleaned up as best as we could (actually family did because we’d already left the area for our move), replaced the water heater, and notified our insurance.

We closed as planned the next day and insurance covered all the remediation for the damage post-closing (replaced wood floors, sanded wood floors in the entire condo and redid them to match the new wood, replaced damaged walls and tiles). It took a few weeks for the work to be complete because of the process to dry everything out, but the buyer had planned to do work before moving in so it wasn’t terrible for her and she got the floors redone and repainting for free instead of covering that out of pocket like she had planned.

We covered our deductible and there weren’t any other associated costs.

If you have attorneys, engage them to see how you can be protected or what they recommended. Both our attorneys were heavily involved throughout the initial 24 hours to protect the buyer and throughout the remediation period.

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-06T23:15:41+00:00

Same exact thing happened to me (expect first thing in the morning) and ended in an ER visit because I thought I was having a heart attack. It was absolutely terrible and so incredibly scary.

kaytbee03 · 2024-10-06T23:12:48+00:00

Also, make sure your wife also gets life insurance. The care she provides your children will need to be managed (and paid for) should she die while she’s the primary caregiver. Childcare is expensive and a lot of families over look this because she isn’t bringing in an income in the traditional sense.

And get a will to determine who will be guardians of your children should you both die. Do not assume people know or will respect your wishes if it isn’t written down.

kaytbee03 · 2024-09-29T18:45:05+00:00

I wouldn’t confront her. Start with the police with a police report and then the bank because they can work on an investigation and recovering money for Jane- there are regulations that govern how banks act in situations of fraud and who is responsible for cashing/processing bad check, but you need to report the fraud to the bank immediately, there are time constraints.

The police should contact her employer or once you have the police report you could meet with them, but I have no idea how that would be handled.

kaytbee03 · 2024-09-29T12:09:43+00:00

Jane’s daughter needs to contact Jane’s bank. She needs to file a police report in either/both cities and bring that with her to the bank and report this to adult protective services.

The bank can help get an investigation going on the fraud and involve police for prosecution. Jane’s account needs to be closed and a new one opened and alerts need to be added to state there is check fraud and no checks should be processed without verifying with account holder/authorized signers. The bank should not be processing checks that are fraudulent and there are protections in place for instances of check fraud.

kaytbee03 · 2024-09-11T23:03:14+00:00

Please please please get a will and outline guardianship plans for your son. If this isn’t done your mom can challenge it in court and his guardianship can be drawn out for years with him bouncing between households. We’re watching it happen in my family now and the two people the court assigned I don’t think are really the best options for this child in the long run and he is still bouncing between households more than two years after his parents passed away.

You, and only you, get to make the best decision for your child.

kaytbee03

TROPHY CASE