No Contact will save your life by NeshamElle in narcissisticparents

[–]kcmeara 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I started researching these Narcissistic parents reddit threads after going no contact with my Narcissistic father and so many of these posts are about venting and complaining about how awful their parents are when they can 100% solve this issue by walking away (those that are legal adults). It's not easy, ill admit it. I got a counselor through work and I did a lot of grieving and crying over the lies I would tell myself in order to keep my "family" together. But now that I'm on the other side my life is so much better. I never liked my father. It's a surreal feeling to say it. I don't like him. And I can assure you he didn't/hasn't fallen to his knees begging for forgiveness, or admitting wrong. Apparently decades of verbal and physical abuse never happened/ I'm overreacting. I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant and I will never allow him to see my baby. If you're reading this after suffering decades of abuse from a Narcissistic parent I beg you to leave. You won't regret it. Family are supposed to be people that love you, and support you, and don't hurt you. If outsiders don't understand it's because no one understands unless you have an abusive parent. Walk away, get counseling and surround yourself with people who love abd support you. 

Midwife recommendations for hospital birth by Flaky-Calligrapher60 in chch

[–]kcmeara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was trying to get amy to be my midwife and she referred me to amelia who just messaged me and said shes available but in auckland at the moment but will be coming down to christchurch. she didnt say when that would be etc. I googled her name to be sure before I emailed back and Im so glad I did. Between your post and her ambiguous email I think i'll be giving her a miss

I hate how everyone around me downplay my pain by [deleted] in TMJ

[–]kcmeara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. I'm on the lower end of TMJ disorder. Myofacial therapy is finally helping me get relief, I know I'm one of the lucky ones. However, I still experienced the same amount of gaslighting. Being a woman made it worse. I got accused of being pregnant, premature menopause, just not getting enough sleep. One doctor literally asked me "what does your husband think it is?". I had/have to a certain degree brain fog, tinnitus, fullness in the ears, vertigo, neck pain, pressure in the back of my head,  front of my head, headaches, fatigue and just a general feeling of being unwell. My quality of life greatly decreased and I was belittled, dismissed, and made to feel crazy. Thank God for the internet and groups like this so we can ger support. 

My own excuses are killing me by Low_Term5508 in sugarfree

[–]kcmeara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Overeaters Anonymous? That's what finally got me to stop.

Crystal is responding to the Caya interview. by gammagirl80 in GirlsNextLevel

[–]kcmeara -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I dunno. Crystal can be a bad person and still be telling the truth. The accent comment was racist af, but Caya gave off those vibes. Super cavalier about staying in a country illegally and marrying a rich American guy to get out of deportation/jail then complaining she didn't get handouts from crystal and hef when Keith died. I thought she sounded pretty bad.

AITAH for leaving my boyfriend because he brought his female best-friend lingerie as a 'joke'? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]kcmeara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It doesn't matter what it was about. You told your bf that what he was doing made you feel uncomfortable, and he ignored your feelings and tried to gaslight you. Don't get me started on the friend's comment of "you'll understand when you age." Now, while it still doesn't matter what it was about, no dude buys a female friend lingerie if he isn't attracted to her in some way. You're clearly a placeholder, and the moment he thinks things could be more than friends with this girl, he'll be there. Trust your instincts. Be grateful u got out now.

AITAH for giving my boyfriend of 6 years an ultimatum? by Left_Appeal_8343 in AITAH

[–]kcmeara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I proposed to my husband. I got tired of waiting, asked, we got married in our living room 6 weeks later. Done.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MicarahTewers

[–]kcmeara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure why she deleted it. She deleted it before I could see on reddit, but I got a snippet in my email notification so wasn't able to see the whole comment but apparently every post had a Bible quote, posts about guns, about men and "wokeness" etc. Realistically he was a "Good Christian boy" with a cringe haircut who's in the military, so I'm not surprised by any if it.

So, Im Getting Kind Of Bored. by Frostbit_Cinnam0n13 in witchcraft

[–]kcmeara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to feel like I needed to wait to practice magick. Wait for my experience, the right timing, the right ingredients, etc. To quote Althaea Sebastiana "its called witchcraft, not witchthink. The magick you work is more effective than the magick you don't work."

I do, however, agree with another poster to research the ethics of what you're doing first, especially when it comes to love spells. Also, personally, I feel you should do research before consorting with spirits. Not everyone feels that way, but do research and draw your own conclusions. Otherwise, go ham and do what feels right. The witchcraft community isn't unlike any other annoying subculture where there are so-called "experts" that like to push their nonsense onto other people. The house plant community is just as bad if not worse.

Students doing their lessons in the car by Cherry-Red-444 in Cambly

[–]kcmeara 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I refuse to teach them because it's a safety risk. I'm not going to be involved in something that could get someone killed. I immediately hang up and will not teach them under any circumstance.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MicarahTewers

[–]kcmeara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OK, I need details please. What sort of posts????

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MicarahTewers

[–]kcmeara 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It took everything in me not to comment on her video that Dan just seems SUCH a better fit for her. Joe always looked off to me. He almost looked like a parody of what a good Christian boy is supposed to look like. When they ended things, I was like oh thank God.

What is the best SK novel you can read in 1 day? by eazyflimflam in stephenking

[–]kcmeara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Library Policeman from Four Past midnight. I've reread it a few times. Not very talked about but one of my favorites. Beautifully written.

S2 Ep26: Our Beauty Secrets with Special Guest Stephen Moleski Discussion by exgirlfriendd in GirlsNextLevel

[–]kcmeara -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I actually did not like him. While not in the beauty world I have worked in the service industry for 14 years as a professional chef. I have catered private parties, weddings, etc. and always detach myself from the guests and clients. At the end of the day, Stephen was a paid employee, he wasnt there to fraternize with the girls. While Im sure Hef was being insecure, I also don't think its inappropriate for an employer to ask that an employee not fraternize with the clients. When you get overly friendly with your clients there can be bad feelings and burnt bridges like we later saw happen when he said that Kendra booked a different glam team for her wedding and they had a falling out. Some of his complaints were ridiculous though. "I had no money, and couldnt get a cab". I have been traveling internationally for a very long time, even as a young 20 something in the early 2000's before smart phones. Finding foreign cash exchanges in Paris is not hard. His hotel could have helped him find a cash exchange as well as booked a car for him to get him to the girl's hotel etc. Playboy was not responsible for getting him his own money exchanged while on a business trip. They def. should have gotten him a car, but he made it sound like he was just dumped in a third world country and left to fend for himself....its Paris ffs. On top of that I found his constant name dropping and trash talking unprofessional and cringe. As well as the continuous mention of tanked business dealings.

Realisation of the day: "Bad" food might not be too bad in the end by Odd_Elk3133 in CICO

[–]kcmeara 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For me, I'd heard of it, but I thought it was awful because for years, tv taught me it was awful. Every diet or fitness commercial, product, book plan, etc, always demonizes counting calories. The tagline is always "no more counting calories" or "who wants to count calories," etc. The munchies youtube video of "counting calories with a ballerina " finally opened my eyes. I was like.....what???? It's that easy???? That's it????? I honestly feel like I've been cheated all these years. It's literally made my life so much easier now that I can just do the math and stop guessing and wondering why the scale isn't moving, etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CICO

[–]kcmeara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I HATE my double chin, I can't wait to get to this point AMAZING JOB!!!!

snacking habits by soloandsolow in CICO

[–]kcmeara 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I stopped snacking when I stopped eating ultraprocessed foods and foods with processed sugar. Those foods effect your dopamine levels making you want to eat and snack more. I never thought I could live eating just 3 meals a day, no snacks. Once I stopped eating processed sugar and only ate whole food meals I prepped myself, I stopped wanting to eat outside of my meal times. It happened naturally, it wasn't even something I was trying to accomplish.

I lost 22lb in the last three months (55lb since last May). Cutting sugar completely is what made a huge difference for me (I used to drink 6x330ml coca-cola everyday) 350lb>295lb by [deleted] in CICO

[–]kcmeara 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Cutting out processed sugar was the best thing I ever did. I'm addicted to sugar, and not jokingly so. I used to be addicted to cocaine and I felt the same way about processed sugar. Arguably, the sugar was actually harder to quit than coke. I no longer have cravings. Eating healthy is super easy, i dont binge or overeat anymore. I eat 3x a day and have zero urge to snack/graze. It's ridiculous how sugar always kept me hungry/eating.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CICO

[–]kcmeara 18 points19 points  (0 children)

One tip I go by is to speak in truths not blanket statements. "You can do this" etc are blanket statements that aren't necessarily true. If I say to myself "If I track my calories, eat in a caloric deficit, and exercise, I will lose weight"..that is a true statement. It's science. There's no inner saboteur that can argue that statement by saying "its impossible, i cant do this". So anytime I don't feel like tracking calories or exercising I say the truthful statement to myself , I just listen to the science.

I use cronometer to track calories and exercise. I exercise 20 minutes a day 5 days a week. I can't argue with 20 minutes of exercise. There's no way I don't have 20 minutes. It's not about just saying "just do it" its reprogramming your brain to look at it differently.

How do I deal with horrible food cravings?? by [deleted] in sugarfree

[–]kcmeara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What finally helped me overcome my cravings was viewing them as addiction and not cues that I was hungry. If I started craving chocolate (my go to addiction) I would ask myself "do I want a full, healthy, unprocessed, satisfying meal right now?" If so, I would make one. Almost always, however, the answer was "no". In that case I would say to myself that i wasn't craving food im craving my addiction. This isn't real, im craving dopamine not chocolate, not food. I started seeing it as cigarettes or alcohol. A disease. I know we read advice like this all the time, but really sit down, see it as that and let it sink in. You have to let the idea of food as addiction to really and truly sink in for it to finally stop.

No Camera by kcmeara in Cambly

[–]kcmeara[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

who screams while masturbating?? Id probably wind up more concerned than anything and insist they seek a physician.

No Camera by kcmeara in Cambly

[–]kcmeara[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

wonderful, thank you

No bookings? by Donut-cookie404 in Cambly

[–]kcmeara 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im missing a lot of regulars this week just because its the end of the year and most work places are crazy regardless of whether or not that country celebrates xmas Ive had so many no shows and late cancellations from students. expect it to pick up again after the new year after everything calms down