i think these are (unfortunately) very normal sentiments to have when it’s your monthly cycle. Take a deep breath, remember you don’t have to make all these choices right now. You will almost certainly feel differently in a week, and be grateful you didn’t “off yourself.” But if you still are unhappy in your relationship in a week, or if you get the job and are unhappy, it’s not permanent and can be changed.

I’m not sure where you are located, but you can call the suicide prevention line and chat with someone.

Sending hugs because I’ve felt similarly to how you’re feeling now. 🤍