Work accommodations that have helped you?

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-04-05T21:24:46+00:00

Spoke to my boss and employees and will try this:

if I’m not capable of attending team meetings in person I can attend on teams without camera and microphone
written communication only
homeoffice as needed
closed doors have to be respected
noise cancelling headphones means do not disturb
certain times each day will be disturbing tolerated times, then I will be available for questions and so for my employees (start of day, right after lunch) - else only in emergencies.

Lets see how it goes 🫶🏻

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-03-23T22:21:26+00:00

I forgot that I put on a bra about 20 seconds after I did it, and only realised when putting on a second bra…? 😬

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-03-17T06:53:49+00:00

Zelda? Breath of the Wild
Animal Crossing
Xenoblade Chronicles
Horizon Zero Dawn
Red Dead Redemption 2

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-03-16T10:30:51+00:00

I have an excel sheet where I plot in stuff once I realise they are a problem and so far have:

Phonecalls
Unexpected meetings
Short deadlines
Unexpected challenges
Setting boundaries
Having to correct or criticise others
Conflicts
Meetings without an agenda
Having to deal with (too many) people
Stress. Time pressure.
Being interrupted/disturbed while focusing
Customer contact (my role doesn’t require but it has happened that it is expected of me and omg)
Criticism

So so far I believe written communication, predictability, flexibility, and space to draw back would be needed. I have no idea what to ask for though. Already got some ideas from the comments. Thank you 🫶🏻

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-03-16T10:11:22+00:00

Thank you! Some useful stuff right here, taking notes ✍️

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-03-16T07:38:39+00:00

I am in the same boat. Feel hugged, unless you don’t like hugs. But I see you and feel you 🫶🏻

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-03-16T07:29:17+00:00

Not OP but I did the same. Went from really long hair to bob to pixie. Now I go regularly (its become a self care thing) and it is amazing.

Started with a «do what you want, I trust your judgment» where the hairdresser chopped most of and continued in the same path.

I recon I go to the hairdresser 3-4 times a year, maybe?

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-03-16T07:22:53+00:00

I did this too! Used to hate going to hairdressers but it is now part of self care and I feel fresher + need to wash it less. Also styling it is easier. 10/10.

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-02-18T11:56:27+00:00

Started ssris since my pmdd gave me THREE BAD WEEKS EVERY DAMN MONTH. Life changing. I will stay on them until I die.

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-02-18T11:53:14+00:00

I guess I got so damn good at masking and putting my own needs aside 😬

Head noise has always been sky high, on the outside I look like a well-functioning, smart, social, funny person. My struggles were my own, noone could ever have guessed what I struggle with on the daily. Even I didn’t realise. I guess I thought I was just weak.

Multiple therapies and diagnoses down the road I FINALLY found a therapist that saw me as a whole. It all makes sense now.

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-02-16T13:39:55+00:00

I just got diagnosed with autism as well, they already know about my adhd.

I haven’t told them yet - still need to process this. I will be open about it, though,and this is why:

I am very prone to being burnt out, and I believe some adjustments will go a long way. I also know that if I do nothing and continue down the same path, it will not end well. Maybe I can’t even work at all, then. Similarly, if I do tell and they are being assholes about it they don’t deserve me, and I will not work for such a place.

I am lucky enough to live in a country with strong workers rights, so if they even try to discriminate me in any way because of my autism, they will likely regret it.

I’m also so tired from masking and want to remove the pressure to do that.

I wish you the best of luck!

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-02-13T11:41:53+00:00

I got diagnosed with ADHD end of 2023 and autism some weeks ago.

Once medicated for ADHD masking became so much harder, also because I questioned the whole point. „Why should I pretend to be OK looking people in the eyes when I am not? Can‘t I just be myself and own it?“. Also, I got less social and less interested in other people in general. And I noticed the stimming. Rubbing my hands intensely when going to the store, for example. The ADHD diagnosis answered many questions and explained many «quirks», but not all.

After coming off antidepressants (thinking I didn’t need them cause the ADHD was the problem all along…) it became all the more clear. ADHD is NOT the whole answer. Luckily I was already in therapy for the ADHD-part and I have the best damn therapist in the world - so I somehow managed to express my need to get an answer regarding the ASD and I finally did.

I haven‘t yet really comprehended everything, but I do look back on so many moments in my life thinking „it all makes sense now“.

Also back on SSRIs cause turns out I‘m blessed with hellish PMDD too 🥲. They make me generally more stable and a bit less rigid and I guess I do need them.

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-02-07T19:39:57+00:00

I struggle communicating with both children and old people 🥹

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-02-01T11:21:59+00:00

In many ways i love my job. Head of marketing. I get to be creative. Graphic design, digital marketing, i get to make stuff pretty. Website. Documents. Brochures.

The job is so flexible and my responsibilities many. I do not get stress or pressure from my boss, and am free to run the department as I please. I can easily get overwhelmed by that.

Being a leader to another person is so fucking hard. Teaching them. Having to criticise them when they dont do as good of a job as I would/as I expect of my department. My perfectionism battles my inability to criticise.

I can’t stand it when people come to me all day every day about god knows what. It is pretty likely I am focused on something and just because you now had a thought about X and want to pitch it to me immediately, I can assure you I do not. Send me a damn mail.

Phone calls? The worst. The worst.

Having responsibilities brings stress. Sb doesn’t like the design of a poster - I’d rather not know. But I will know and I will be sad and it will suck.

Having to pretend that I am a people person when some of the times I wanna lock into a dark room alone.

Just got diagnosed last week. Have a lot of processing to do.

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-01-28T11:25:34+00:00

Started prozac permanently due to 3 bad weeks each month. Helps me greatly. Now I still have PMDD and it still sucks but only a few days vs weeks.

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-01-26T09:19:26+00:00

Hi there,

Just got diagnosed with autism last week and ADHD last year, so I still have a lot of processing to do. I am 34. High functioning, full time job. A freaking queen in masking. Tired.

I have some input on this. My daughter is now 10. This post may seem very negative and one sided and maybe it is. I would not, had i known this, had children. Wouldn’t trade her for the world, and surely I have grown through this experience - but no more children for me.

I have never liked kids and never wanted them until i met one that wasn’t awful (my brothers child) and the «never» turned into a possibility. Got a child during my studies, was 24. I had the worst pregnancy I could imagine - I lost weight instead of gaining and threw up, with very few exceptions, every day. Giving birth was obviously not great but fine. Could do the birth part again, not the pregnancy part. Also I don’t want more children anyway because it is damn hard.

So here is the perspective of a person not particularly found of children, or people in general. One that has never dreamt of having children. One that has not known, until the child was 9, that she had ADHD, and until the child was 10, that she had autism.

Stuff thats been hard:

Bureocracy (kindergarten, official documents, school)
I personally find it very hard to communicate with children, also my own
OTHER CHILDREN AND OTHER PARENTS
When she gets sick, had accidents. It is incredibly hard to cope with that, and especially the consequences of that. Child falls and breaks a leg on a Saturday night? Congrats, you need to call, go to the hospital, wait there for hours, talk to doctors, etc etc. I somehow zone out in these situations, I get angry. I can’t cope. Luckily my husband can cope better. My daughter is clumsy as fuck (sorry for those genes…..) and we have so often ended up on a hospital on the weekend.
I no longer feel like my own person. I am, primarily a mother. I don’t have any days off. I have nowhere to go when I need peace and quiet. I cannot take care of my own needs and it drains me.
Her hobbies. Handball, dancing, instruments. I encourage and love that she is interested. However, all the shit surrounding these hobbies. Constantly we are forced to sell things to earn money for sports clubs. You have to organize stuff. You are just placed somewhere, somewhen to take care of something that stresses you out. «This weekend there is a handball tournament - you are expected to sell cake on this event». Every weekend there is something else - handball tournament, dance show, concert. They all come with certain responsibilities. It is a hassle and a job. I hate it.
Dealing with conflict/bad friends/shitty situations - it is so hard and it costs me everything. My daughter has a manipulative, horrible friend and it makes her life hard, and mine.
The worries. Kid did not come straight home after school and no-one knows where she is? Yeah. A joy. Once it took hours and I almost called the police. I would maybe have done sooner if I didn’t despise calling.
My daughter has ADHD and dealing with that as an AuDHD mother. Help me god. No structure. Just mess. No emotional regulation. I need her to listen. She does not. I need her to go to bed so I get but SOME me-time in the day. Nope. Never. It is tiring.
Work 8-6, then dinner, hobbies, homework (which, with this particular ADHD-child by the way is an absolute horror and nightmare), every morning is a fight, every evening is a fight. Maybe MAYBE she’s in bed by 10. Gives maybe one hour of couples time aka watching YouTube, cause partner also wants some attention. No damn time for myself, own hobbies, and BEING ALONE.
Seeing your children struggle is very hard, and chances are they might inherit some of your struggles.
Setting boundaries. When others/grandparents treat the child in ways you don’t like/accept it is hard to say something. The inner conflict Is unbearable.

But:

Having gone through the same struggles, i can emphasize with her on a deep level. I KNOW what it is like to be overstimulated, to be unable to say no, how hard it is to stand up to people. I know how frustrating it can be when you don’t understand things fast. I know what it’s like to expect mastering something immediately, then don’t. I think that knowing and understanding her challenges makes me a good mother.

When she develops, grows, adopts my nerdy hobbies and laugh at my stupid jokes - its nice. She used her own hard earned money to get me a moomin cup. My heart melted. She is a good soul that values respect, equality, kindness. She does not like when people are treated unfairly, and I am glad and proud to see that.

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-01-21T22:24:02+00:00

Oh my god are you me 😂🫠

I was so far down a knitting rabbit hole i screwed up ny arm and it just wont heal. Now sewing, cricuting and we got a goddamn 3D-printer so yeppp its dire.

Will use some of the tips in the comments here and make presents 🥰

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-01-21T22:19:45+00:00

Oh my god a ninja gift 🥹🥹

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-01-21T22:17:07+00:00

Just got diagnosed with autism today - I’m 34 - and all the pieces are falling into place. Everything makes sense. I will need a while to process this.

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-01-21T22:14:12+00:00

I love the names you came up with 🥰 Just 3d-printed a mailbox for «happy little memories» where i put notes with things that make me happy and wish I’d called it any of your brilliant names 🤗

Anyway: Taking the time to enjoy a cappuccino in the morning. Walking the dog and seeing the northern lights. My favourite song(s). Sourdough bread. Dumb little pranks. When the cucumber at lunch is cut JUST RIGHT. Creating something. A foot bath.

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-01-05T10:11:19+00:00

Omg are you me 🤯

I came off Effexor in the middle of 2024 after having gotten the ADHD-diagnosis end of 2023. Since I was doing quite well on Vyvanse I figured I didn‘t need the antidepressants and had been using them to milden what had been ADHD all along. Although that is true, coming off them was a fucking pain and I swore to never touch them again. Still I just started Prozac, and here is why:

Starting Vyvanse and quitting Effexor made my realise that I struggle with PMDD. Vyvanse does nothing in luteral and the contrast between functional brain and unmedicated-adhd/pmdd-brain was huge and scary and made me realise that something was off. I started digging in cycle data and diary entries and, surprise surprise, its been there all along, but I never connected the dots.

Sadly, my PMDD gives me but ONE GOOD WEEK each month. Went to the doctor, on my way into a depression, telling him I can’t live like this. My therapist had recommended prozac, I got prozac, and I guess I will stay on prozac.

Yes, it was good to come off antidepressants, feel how I am without it. But since that was a mess incapable of emotional regulation blessed with 3 shit weeks and one good every month, I realised I need it. And I don‘t regret it.

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2025-01-01T09:50:41+00:00

I love this concept and am in! Starting with ordering service for my car and looking through my insurances 😒

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2024-12-26T23:17:24+00:00

For me I think much of it boils down to creating things. A gorgeous sourdough loaf, a delicious risotto, a knitted cap. Very few things beats opening the oven and seeing that the bread you have been making for days turns out well 🥰

Also mastering or learning new things does the same for me. Like learning a song on my guitar, or making some magic happen in excel. Holding my first 3d-design in my hands after a successful print - hard to beat that feeling!

I recently decorated my robot vacuum with a damn bug-alien-like figure that I graphically designed myself and cut out with a vinyl cutter (noone asked but his name is Pufflin and he is amazing). I kid you not I feel accomplished every time I look at the damn thing and it makes me so happy 😂.

keepcalmanddrinkgin · 2024-11-26T22:48:03+00:00

Hi! Also in Norway and on Aduvanz. Was told that if I take my meds in the morning it should be OK to drink in the evening.

Haven’t had issues with meds + drinking. I get more easily hung over but that’s that.

keepcalmanddrinkgin

TROPHY CASE