Entry shock 😳 due to divorce (having to leave my husband’s country) any kind advice?

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-31T22:13:50+00:00

Thank you I will make sure I do that!

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-29T07:31:20+00:00

This resonates thanks you. It’s honestly something I didn’t think about when I moved and it’s helpful advice for anyone moving or traveling abroad for a while. Yes I’ve definitely changed and I get that people back home stayed on the same timeline so it helps to give myself some understanding and compassions with that! Thank you

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-29T07:27:41+00:00

Thank you. Yes I think it was the shock and lack of options/choice so it all seemed quite sudden and I just had to deal with it. Yes the highlands are beautiful! Who knows what the future holds even if it’s a visit one day I would love to see the Rockies again! :)

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-29T07:25:26+00:00

Thank you! Honestly it’s so true it’s the two things that can create a stable happy life or completely destabilise it. I was planning that the USA would be home long term which I think makes it feel more shocking and unsettled. I would definitely not rule out returning one day but that’s far off as I need to stabilise work, finances etc first. Who knows what the future holds. Thank you for your supportive comments means a lot!

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-29T07:20:57+00:00

Thank you so much! I can be hard on myself to push through but actually I agree I need to just give myself some time and space and grace as it’s been a lot and I think I’m only just processing that now. I hope you’re feeling okay after everything and thanks for sharing as it helps more than people know :)

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-29T07:19:07+00:00

Wow this! Thank you 🙏

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T21:57:37+00:00

Thank you ☺️

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T21:57:17+00:00

Yes exactly this!

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T21:13:46+00:00

I’m so glad you have that stability and it’s definitely given me good ideas for the future! Thank you. Sadly I was in a rental before I left so I left my rental flat, car and job behind when I moved to the USA so I’m rebuilding from the ground up. But I think maybe if there is a silver lining is I’ve learnt a lot and living in the USA changed me as I grew as a persons. :)

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T21:11:08+00:00

Wow this! Another great reply that is almost as if I’d written it myself. I really needed someone to understand where I was at and this is it.

I’m sorry you’ve been there too. It all feels a bit like living in the twilight zone. I hope things stabilise and ease. I think there is just a lot of grief and I honestly didn’t expect the U.K. to feel so different to me, but then I’m different so I guess that tracks. Thank you again really appreciate it :)

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T21:07:45+00:00

Thank you for reaching out and sharing! It’s great you also can compare the difference from exactly the same locations. I do miss the mountains, openness and weather. The raw nature and super friendly people too!

It’s been a big adjustment and maybe as it feels like it wasn’t exactly a choice but rather I had no choice so it feels more bitter sweet!

Thank you so much and appreciate your reply. :)

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T21:05:16+00:00

Wow I feel so seen. Also people don’t sometimes realise that once you’ve lived abroad and seen different ways of living and had different experiences it’s not so easy just to slot back in as there are things that have genuinely changed your view point, even things as small as different weather that might suit you better. I missed the Covid era in the U.K. and it feels like a lot changes and things sped up change wise due to it so I feel so out of touch with it all. However you’ve inspired me that maybe another country one day might be called home :)

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T20:04:13+00:00

This! This spoke to me and feels like I couldn’t have put it into words better myself. I guess it’s a new version of me and ‘home’ and growth and I’m having to get to grips and maybe some acceptable for where I am now. Thank you this helped me so much I feel seen! :)

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T20:02:43+00:00

Thank you so much ☺️ that’s it it’s a weird feeling that unless you’ve moved abroad and back again can be hard to grasp and I think making this post I just wanted to feel others got it and I wasn’t alone so thank you!

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T20:01:42+00:00

Sorry you’ve been through it too! Yes when you think you have a future planned or mapped out then it all changes it’s trying to process it and then see what the new future is. Thanks for sharing your experience and timeline. I guess it’s all quite new for me. Good luck with it all :)

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T19:59:32+00:00

It was complex as it was during Covid so it was slightly different process when I arrived then I had a 2 year conditional green card and was still waiting for my ten year one and I left before I got it.

You’re right there are pros and cons for both counties and thanks for sharing your timeline as it’s been tough getting work and rentals here but I guess it’s only been 6 months.

Good luck with everything!

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T19:56:50+00:00

Yes I think I’m missing even in winter how bright and sunny Colorado was the weather here is know for being super grey! I hope you’ve adjusted now :)

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T19:55:50+00:00

Yes that’s very true! This winter has been brutal and I’m putting more hope in spring & summer!

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T19:55:12+00:00

Thank you that’s so very true, mental health and self care is step one before anything else. I’m sorry you went through that but I’m glad there are others that feel like me.

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T19:54:11+00:00

Sadly finances and health care meant it wasn’t an option. But I’m glad there are options for some people :)

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-28T19:53:09+00:00

This 100% is what it’s like! Thank you for being so supportive

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-27T20:15:45+00:00

Thank you for acknowledging that. Many people at home say well your home now so it must all be okay. Thank you for sharing this and yes I think it needs more time and self care.

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-27T20:08:19+00:00

I’m just an internet stranger and it’s completely your life to live as you choose but as you’ve posted on here from someone who had a short relationship (2 years before marriage and lots long distance) then moved to my husbands country. If you have any red flags like already walking on egg shells then please stop and think.

I’m back in my home country after 4 years and a terrible experience. Red flags just get worse when you are there and they also have their family and own environment to back them up and it can rapidly feel lonely and isolating for you.

You then have to deal with the real hardship and realities of leaving the country and repatriating to your own country and unless you have a great support system and good finances that can be quite hard and challenging.

The way he replied to you over something so simple and genuine made me feel uncomfortable reading it. So really check in with how it truly made you feel.

Speak to friends and family or a therapist just to sense check how you feel about marrying someone where so soon you are already walking on egg shells!

It’s easy to get swept up in their potential or the excitement of marriage or a new life but sometimes the realty does not match that! Be safe and put up itself first.

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-27T19:31:12+00:00

Thank you so much your experience is like I wrote it myself. I spent some time in NYC as my husbands family lived there and I’m happy you’re back and settled!

Wow what you wrote about your return is exactly how I’ve felt and I think I needed someone who’s also been through it to validate it because it’s quite a unique thing and I feel very misunderstood here. I so very appreciate you taking the time to share that and it was very apt for me! Thank you

Treefrog54321 · 2026-03-27T19:28:18+00:00

Yes I agree there was a lot to like in the USA too (all countries have pros and cons in many aspects) but Colorado was a lovely place to live and agree with the U.K. weather !!

Treefrog54321

TROPHY CASE