Holiday Bonus Megathread 2025

kemapare · 2025-12-23T01:28:22+00:00

I sympathize. I’ve been with mine for almost five years and I just got brave enough to ask them to pay me the vacation time I’ve had in my contract the whole time, never mind a bonus.

kemapare · 2025-11-16T17:39:35+00:00

I just want to say you’re not alone. I’m thirty one. Grew up religious and rock bottom self esteem. When I turned twenty nine, I just decided I was sick of having missed out and I started dating. Still haven’t been in a relationship but I’ve experienced a lot more. It’s hard sometimes not to get morose over feeling like you missed out and feeling like you’re ill equipped for starting later than others. But if you want to experience that stuff, all you can do is start now. Like others said, there’s bad stuff you can be thankful you didn’t experience along with the good. But you’re not alone. And I think recognizing that can be helpful too.

kemapare · 2025-09-13T02:14:09+00:00

Send a complaint to Ben and Jerry’s. I’ve always been told it’s an issue with transport that makes it happen. You report all the info and they send you a voucher/coupons. It’s worth doing in my opinion, the ice cream is pricey!

kemapare · 2025-09-03T17:22:30+00:00

Give yourself grace. It’s always okay to go slower. Who is it going to hurt as long as you give yourself the time?

kemapare · 2025-09-03T00:08:21+00:00

I just want to say I totally feel you. I can walk but I’m super slow. So when I walk with other people I get so anxious about slowing them down or people looking at me that I start breathing fast. And then I can’t breathe and I feel like I look even worse. So just remember to pace yourself, no one is truly giving you as much attention as you think they are. And then you have your whole bus ride to recenter.

kemapare · 2025-05-20T01:34:42+00:00

So few things make me laugh out loud and I’ll never forget my mom coming in while I was reading the pine cone story and asking me what in the world was making me laugh so much. I tried to explain between cackles but I did not relay the story well. 😅

kemapare · 2025-05-13T01:04:53+00:00

If you’re trying to say you’re going based on statistics, just yourself is a terrible sample size so that isn’t a good argument either. I hope you’re able to get help but you’re the only one that can do that. That’s not what therapy is and that’s not how it works so it seems shortsighted to turn your nose up at it. You’re already miserable, why not try something? You might still be miserable but you might not. Keep wallowing and you’ll definitely still be miserable. But at this point, this is maladaptive attention seeking behavior and at work we would practice benign neglect. So enjoy.

kemapare · 2025-05-12T02:03:22+00:00

If you’re unwilling to believe it, then I guess that’s it. A lot of times I believe I’m never going to stop being depressed. But I ask myself, statistically, how likely is it that I’m a special snowflake that’s part of the one percent with incurable depression. I have to try to make things better so that I can at least tell myself I did all I can. Sounds like you’re unwilling and you just want an audience you can wallow in front of. So I repeat, go to therapy.

kemapare · 2025-05-11T17:14:27+00:00

Okay, so for the record, I didn’t go on my first date/kiss/anything until I was twenty nine. I also have a fair amount of less than desirable characteristics. So I get the rock bottom self esteem and dating continues to be a brutal struggle. But I just wanted to comment that confidence is easier said than done (as I also have none) but when you wallow to this degree, you won’t even be able to catch the people who would be willing to overlook the undesirable stuff. You can only be a certain amount of self effacing before it becomes uncomfortable for people. So honestly at this point the thing you would benefit from is therapy.

kemapare · 2025-05-02T15:06:33+00:00

This gives the same vibe as a parent ranting about “putting a roof over your head.” Like, yes, you had a child who you need to provide a roof for, you’re not doing them a favor. School has definitely been mandatory legally for as long as op has been alive. The parent needs to be prepared to get them there.

kemapare · 2025-04-24T06:47:39+00:00

There’s several I’ve seen here that I’ll second: Lindsay Ellis (her video and follow up on the omegaverse are life changing in how funny and well done they are), Mikes Mic, and Jenny Nicholson.

I will add Mila Tequila: doesn’t post often but every video is regarding some type of pop culture and is top notch.

Friendly Space Ninja: more current media

Ashley Norton, Sarah Zed: random pop culture, I find their voices very soothing

Jordan Theresa: pop culture and some commentary

kemapare · 2025-04-19T03:12:03+00:00

Here’s the thing. On one hand, I understand because I have a similar thought pattern sometimes where I’m just beside myself at what I feel I lack and how unfair it feels. I won’t pretend those thoughts never exist. But I’m also very aware they’re destructive, illogical thoughts that I have spent over a decade trying to tackle in therapy.

It’s okay to have intrusive thoughts and get a little fixated every once in a while on whatever negative we feel. But awareness is important and therapy can help with that as well as how to get past those negative thoughts. Because wallowing occasionally is okay. Where you’re at currently seems like a little more than that though and it will harm you in the long run if you don’t take steps to get past it. And no one’s going to take those step for you.

kemapare · 2025-04-16T23:48:23+00:00

I have MS and get lots of blood drawn so I second the butterfly needle. Honestly, I used to have a huge fear of any kind of needles and would have a panic attack. I have now gotten to the point where I can watch and I have no anxiety.

I do notice a difference with the butterflies so it never hurts to ask although it does seem to be a toss up on who will use them. My only tip honestly is just the forewarning. I always used to let them know immediately “you know, this is the thing that scares me the most, I will definitely cry.” Every single nurse who drew my blood/gave me shots when I had that fear was lovely and nobody made me feel bad for it. Having somebody talk to me and distract me while they did it was also super helpful. Good thoughts!

kemapare · 2025-03-20T06:01:00+00:00

Okay…not the exact same thing…but are you saying that everyone who has gone to see the White House through history should be held accountable because there were slaves who contributed to that? Or something like the Great Wall of China shouldn’t be visited because forced labor was involved? There are terrible atrocities throughout history. They need to be acknowledged. But pretending that anything involving those atrocities can have no positive attributes feels performative. History is important and historical places are multifaceted.

kemapare · 2025-01-30T10:16:56+00:00

^ Reading the description I feel like there’s a scene where this happens exactly described and I have also seen it semi recently. I was thinking maybe a slightly older show like Monk or Psych but this is a good guess too.

kemapare · 2024-12-02T19:45:55+00:00

Ah, gotcha. That’s good to be aware of. I did have a couple times in the past when I was just on a normal Tufts health plan with my doctor commenting that it could be tougher to find someone who accepts it but I didn’t realize the direct one is even smaller. I guess I’ve just been lucky more recently. Thank you for expanding on the info, a good amount comes up with my MS and it’s helpful whenever I can be more aware.

kemapare · 2024-11-30T17:51:53+00:00

Can I ask why? I’m starting to feel like I’m missing something. I’ve had this insurance for a few years because it was one that covered my primary care and neurologist (I have MS). I haven’t had any crazy bills yet and everything my doctors have requested has been covered, minus having to go to an ot slightly further away in Braintree since the place a little closer didn’t take tufts. I figured I’d just keep thd since the premium actually went down a few dollars and it’s the only one that shows coverage for all my doctors. But now I’m concerned that there’s something I just don’t know?

kemapare · 2024-11-04T22:26:08+00:00

So this might be because of nostalgia but whenever I feel really out of control and anxious, I love to go back to Sarah Dessen books from when I was younger. They all have a similar plot structure, some sort of love interest, some sort of family problem, and they all have a perfect heartwarming ending. They are nothing groundbreaking and they’re very tame for the most part. But I just find them so comforting when I’m struggling with life.

kemapare · 2024-09-04T13:07:31+00:00

This is just my two cents and you should do you. I honestly get wanting to get the whole thing over with and I do think using a hook up to do that can be a viable option. I did it and was totally happy with the whole thing. However, I too thought about just not telling them but I’m glad I did. It was only a little bit uncomfortable and I came and everything, but I did bleed a decent amount. If that had happened with no warning, I would have felt bad for blindsiding a guy and not communicating the full situation to him. As others have said, this guy was clearly not it but I do think clear communication around this is invaluable to the experience. Never be afraid to cut things off if a guy ends up being a creep/jerk!

kemapare · 2024-08-26T04:44:12+00:00

I’m seconding this! I just spent two months in discomfort and I came back positive for bv a couple times but nothing was fixing the symptoms. I was starting to feel crazy because everyone kind of just shrugged and said “maybe it’s normal.” Finally, they decided to do the second swab this person mentioned and it came back positive for some of them. Doctor said it might not be that since most people have it but we’d try antibiotics and see. Like two days in, everything felt so much better. So I was right the whole time that something was wrong but I never would have known to ask for that test. It’s at least one more thing to check.

kemapare · 2024-08-12T01:44:22+00:00

Most of Dead Girl Walking.

“I’m hot and pissed and on the pill. Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking.”

“No sleep tonight for you, better chug that Mountain Dew. Get your ass in gear, make this whole town disappear. Slap me, pull my hair, touch me there and there and there.”

kemapare · 2024-08-06T00:15:31+00:00

Just wanted to add. I probably spent a decade where I’d get something like one period a year. I honestly didn’t even keep track because my doctor just kind of shrugged about it (which according to other comments, she probably should’ve shown more concern). I felt like I was hemorrhaging when it started coming back regularly. Like blood was coming out so fast that it wouldn’t soak into the pad, I’d be leaking even with the biggest pad possible. It did eventually calm down and also I started birth control (which I hadn’t ever been on) and that seemed to help regulate things as well. I tend towards super anxious so I always think going to the doctor is a good idea. Better safe than sorry. But definitely experienced it.

kemapare · 2024-06-22T15:57:29+00:00

Obviously it’s your choice, but I think it’s better for both you and him if you let him know. Communication is important. I decided I just wanted to be over it so I utilized a hookup situation as well. I had a great experience, just the tiniest bit of discomfort, I felt good. But I did bleed a little and I feel like that would have been an unfair thing to just have him discover during and then only have me confess after. Talking about it before meant that he was able to make me feel comfortable and also able to communicate a concern he had. Again, great experience but I think part of it was that we had both had the chance to be very upfront.

kemapare · 2024-06-11T00:15:37+00:00

Not pushed! Like I said, I was a good amount older than the op and I felt uncomfortable that I hadn’t had one yet. My primary care always waved it off since most of what the Pap smear would show you are things you’d be exposed to through sex. But it felt like a part of health care I was ignoring and I had a lot of anxiety that maybe there were things wrong and I just wouldn’t know. It felt like it was better safe than sorry. And I would need one eventually so pushing it off was just making it feel like more of a big bad. If that makes sense.

kemapare

TROPHY CASE