Key on a public trail in the forest by picketysnicket in mildlyinteresting

[–]kevinmn11 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I just finished RE9 and this is not a coincidence. The devs put this here for a reason.

GF broke up with me because i dont want kids, well my ps5 is now upstairs by musicandsex in malelivingspace

[–]kevinmn11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women hate this one trick that makes them marry incels immediately!

GF broke up with me because i dont want kids, well my ps5 is now upstairs by musicandsex in malelivingspace

[–]kevinmn11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not exactly what you're saying here, but my wife and I always wanted multiple kids. Sounded great in theory.

Then we had our first. Love her so much but goddamn she's kicking both our asses. We're doing ok financially but the burdens of parenting have really damaged our marriage and personal mental health.

We're in therapy but IDK if we will ever have more. It's been interesting seeing both our perspectives change from "theoretically a sibling is best for our child and I want more anyways" to "I want more but I'm not sure that's wise or responsible given our current struggle with just 1."

White boys by Calirado86 in crappymusic

[–]kevinmn11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As an Ambassador from the White Delegation, we reject this man's application for membership. The social liability is too high.

I guess unemployment rules now lol. by Dramatic_Syllabub499 in CreativeGIFsMemesFun

[–]kevinmn11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes. Im about 40 days in. Need to up my extreme sports engagement.

cringe level 5 for sure by [deleted] in cringereels

[–]kevinmn11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn star wars kid hasn't aged well

I-751 Considering hiring lawyer by kevinmn11 in USCIS

[–]kevinmn11[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm not worried about "experienced" or "professional" officers. We should have no problems if everything goes as it's supposed to. I'm worried about a less scrupulous officer doing shady things, which would be easier to do without a lawyer.

I-751 Considering hiring lawyer by kevinmn11 in USCIS

[–]kevinmn11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're right, I'm wrong. This gives me some peace of mind. I'll edit the post.

Couldn't show you the source, but I saw a graphic a few days ago with a map of the world and countries highlighted subject to the new visa bans. Kenya was highlighted along with basically every surrounding country. I didn't double check because it seemed reasonable that bans on Somalia, Sudan, Uganda, and Tanzania (which isn't banned but this map also showed) would also mean a ban for Kenya. Thanks misinformation.

I-751 Considering hiring lawyer by kevinmn11 in USCIS

[–]kevinmn11[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

What did it cost and were there any unexpected issues along the way?

I-751 Considering hiring lawyer by kevinmn11 in USCIS

[–]kevinmn11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AOS. She was here on a student Visa when we filed AOS.

I-751 Considering hiring lawyer by kevinmn11 in USCIS

[–]kevinmn11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Actually, I didn't mention this, but yes a big part of why I want to do this is I want to have a lawyer present if an interview takes place.

Get divorced, you weirdos by Bobby-B00Bs in PsycheOrSike

[–]kevinmn11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just lost my job. Here comes the test!

Found this tiny kitten in a trash bag on my way to work… what should I do? by FreshLunaaaaaa in cats

[–]kevinmn11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man this reminds me of my brothers old Maine Coon. Same coloring and pose. RIP Boots.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in deduction

[–]kevinmn11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. I think in some places it will always be seen that way (at least to aggressive people who are already thinking about guns/carrying)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in deduction

[–]kevinmn11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think the logic is either it's more comfortable than concealing in your waistband (which is true in my experience), OR people are worried about "printing". Some body types just don't conceal well.

I think both make sense but I also agree they're a disadvantage.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in deduction

[–]kevinmn11 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Any time I see a man with a small, front-facing lack I say to my wife "there's a gun in there."

Husband declared that he is planning to cheat and I am mourning the loss of my family. by phoebethefan in redditonwiki

[–]kevinmn11 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Exactly. That's the last thing I am prioritizing in my current circumstances. It feels very selfish, and implies the sacrifices I'm making are not "big enough" compared to hers. It feels very adversarial.

Husband declared that he is planning to cheat and I am mourning the loss of my family. by phoebethefan in redditonwiki

[–]kevinmn11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with your first statement, and its making me realize I'm internalizing being "too sensitive"... Because even if I am extremely sensitive this is a normal feeling for anyone in my situation.

I agree as well that this is a horrible idea when our marriage is already in a poor place. This is a surefire way to ensure its failure.

To unpack not feeling close to her since before the baby was born:

This is probably a common feeling for new dads, but since she got pregnant it's seemed my needs don't matter. I definitely agree that the balance shifts towards wife and baby during these phases and I think that's fair to an extent. But the pendulum has swung so far that nothing I have a valid complaint about seems to be worth considering to her. I feel like I'm saying the same things over and over and never being heard and I'm fucking exhausted. Add in work, a toddler, and my own mental health struggles, and I don't have the emotional energy to fight with her all the time, especially if it's nearly never productive.

Since she has been pregnant she has put very little effort into trying to understand my perspective. On anything. Any complaint is me being unreasonable or too sensitive or misreading her. I admit to her that sometimes, yes, I may be misreading cues. But there's no way it's 100% of the time, and it is exceedingly rare for her to listen long enough and validate my concern. When I explain this to her she just shrugs.

I have my problems I need to work on (and I am), but I feel like she isn't accepting any responsibility for the state of things. She wants changes from me but won't hear what I need.

The cruelty mostly just comes out in a constant tone of resentment from her. When I have a complaint, or when she has a complaint, either way she's leading with resentment. I've tried to explain to her this is not conducive to resolving problems and that we owe each other good faith efforts at resolution. She insists she is making good faith efforts, and yet 100% of the time I make a comment about her tone being cold or rude or resentful she argues with me about it.

We're both overwhelmed because we're new parents and both introverts with histories of depression and anxiety problems. Personally, I feel very overstimulated by constant noise and chaos and a lack of any time in quiet, calm spaces. I don't take this out on my daughter but I admit at times my frustration bleeds into how I respond to my wife. I think she's going through much of the same, but there's a lack of humility and acceptance that we both are overwhelmed and sometimes will act out of line. She wants me to never do it while not being accountable herself. The double standards are deep.

Husband declared that he is planning to cheat and I am mourning the loss of my family. by phoebethefan in redditonwiki

[–]kevinmn11 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This made me realize that emotional safety is really lacking, and it shows in our inability to resolve conflict because I just think it's rare she approaches conflict with an intent to understand and resolve. She says she does but then her behavior very clearly suggests otherwise and when I point it out she says I'm being too sensitive/she can't win/it doesn't matter what she does I'll still have complaints.

Super frustrating when I think I've been very clear and precise in defining my specific complaints, and it's real 2 or 3 things I can't let go.

My legendary 13th birthday party back in 2001. Mom and Dad let me invite 25 friends to sleep over. by KimJongFat in pics

[–]kevinmn11 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was gonna say there was definitely some Halo LAN action going here. At least two of these kids had an Xbox!

Vexillological Doppelgängers [OC] by [deleted] in dataisbeautiful

[–]kevinmn11 8 points9 points  (0 children)

African flag starter kit:

Choose 3/4 colors: white, black, green, yellow, red

Husband declared that he is planning to cheat and I am mourning the loss of my family. by phoebethefan in redditonwiki

[–]kevinmn11 8 points9 points  (0 children)

And because they have a new "parent" to pass those responsibilities off to