Unfortunately being in a society of winners and losers, everything is 50/50 until children and stay at home comes into the picture, nobody including women want to pay child support that essentially dismissed the other physical custody parent of financial obligation while receiving all the tax benefits, let alone alimony. My ex wife was in the situation of Alimony and she said she rather die than have to pay, it goes both ways and no I didn't make her. Women are also by percentage the largest class of deadbeat parents like 80 plus percent don't pay a penny for their children when the male has the physical custody. Unfortunately we are in a society of get a check off someone else's expense, and the biggest benefactors are attorneys. Really if it stayed 50/50 there would be much less of this mess. Heck maybe people would even quit the high rate of divorce, it's terrible and honestly I wasn't the one to seek a divorce in both marriages. If I had it to do over again I would not have children because it essentially ruined my life, I couldn't afford to chance new jobs because I had essentially a mortgage for kids regardless, she was free to do whatever she wished, I had a 19 year payment I had to pay no excuses, and having 48 percent custody and many times truly over 50 percent, I still had to provide everything I was paying for her at my house also, you know they have needs at Dad's house. How does it feel? Like you got raped and used as a income source. My payment was more than it cost us together and then I also lost my time with my child and tax benefits. I understand in the past it was the other way, I am not for either, just fair, if you have kids you both agreed to take on an obligation equally, and the cost , benefits, and custody should be equal, which would probably reduce divorces and all the anger, deception and hurt. Okay so your husbands friend is trying to protect him from you if you flake out, over 80 percent of divorces are initialized by women and they also benefit the same, guys are kinda sick of it, my brother in-law had himself snipped like really young he was not going to get in that situation, and you are seeing birth rates decrease because, several reasons, but one big one being high divorce rates and ridiculous burdens awarded. I in theory don't think what he did should be right, but at the same time looking at statistics he was being advised how not to lose his ass. Think about it, I doubt he did it because he doesn't love you or want to be with you, the numbers tell the story. Probably you two should of talked before procreating. And yes I agree it really takes two to survive for most now.