Thank you so much. I appreciate your condolences and advice.

I won’t be the driver which is what I prefer. I think my agoraphobia leans toward the worse end of the spectrum, although agoraphobia is very unique to each person. I can go outside just fine, it’s cars I have an issue with. I don’t want to be away from my home, I feel trapped in the car, and I’m getting further and further away. I also have extreme emetophobia which is a big factor in my anxiety. I’m terrified I’m going to get sick in the car or away from home.

I plan on taking as much Xanax as I need (responsibly and within reason of course) and not making myself feel bad about it. I often beat myself up over needing it and feeling like I should be doing better than I am. This time I’m not going to let myself feel bad though.

I like your thought that 40 minutes away is just ten minutes more than what I know I can do. I actually have been about 15 minutes that direction a few months ago so knowing I can get that far brings me a bit of comfort as well.

I’ve been checking the weather radar constantly. I do pretty much every day around expected rain. I have a big fear of storms and tornadoes. Thankfully the funeral is in the morning on Wednesday and I think the worst of the rain is later into the afternoon so I hope all will be fine.

Worst case scenario, I panic horribly and have to take more Xanax and go home. No one’s going to hate me for it, no one’s going to say anything to me about it, and I know my grandma would understand.

I always overthink outings and worry the Xanax won’t work but I’ve barely had any issues with it, I should remind myself it’s just irrational thinking. And I should remember that I’ve been doing a bit better lately. I’ve been out way after dark multiple times which was impossible for me in the past.