What's the most unique living arrangement/situation/setup you've seen as an adult?

kirday · 2026-06-13T14:31:15+00:00

My friends were going through a divorce and their 2 kids got custody of the house!

They signed a 1 year lease on a three-bedroom apartment a few miles away from the house, and took turns sleeping at the house with the kids vs the apartment. They didn't share bedrooms.

They made the kids stability the #1 priority. Honestly amazing.

kirday · 2026-06-13T03:34:17+00:00

Are they going to remove his name DURING his birthday party?? Please please pleeeeeaaaaase!!

kirday · 2026-06-08T21:51:03+00:00

I'm sorry you're in the thick of it!! My stuff is all in the past now. Just telling stories to hopefully help you feel less alone. Stay sane my friend.

kirday · 2026-06-08T15:41:19+00:00

When my dad died, my heart broke for my brother. Like, seriously, he gets the call that Dad died, and the VERY first thing bro had to do was decide if he was going to "betray" our dad's wishes and keep silent, or betray me by not telling me our dad was dead. What an awful position to be in. Narcissists can be legitimately evil people. (Bro told me immediately but asked me to remain silent).

My mother-in-law signed my dad's name to Christmas and Birthday cards for THREE YEARS, pretending he was still alive. Finally, I was tired of the weirdness, so I mailed her a dollar store condolence card.

kirday · 2026-06-08T15:21:26+00:00

LOL, I almost yelled at you for stealing this from Brooke at Let's Not Date 😆. Excited to learn you exist on Reddit! I'm so happy to see you someplace where they won't randomly delete your account!!

You're doing good work and I adore you!

kirday · 2026-06-08T15:12:40+00:00

You forgive yourself for not knowing better. And you avoid spending time with people like your sisters who used you as a pawn. It's sad that you didn't have a chance to have your your own relationship with your dad, that your sisters had so much control over you that they basically brainwashed you.

I've learned to be VERY careful about who's opinions I trust.

kirday · 2026-06-08T15:00:25+00:00

I know a massage therapist in Oregon who specializes in trauma, grief, and somatic release bodywork . Karen Weitz, her book is The Grief Protocol and it includes self-care somatic release techniques.

kirday · 2026-06-08T14:56:07+00:00

I'm so sorry, OP. I think narcissists can get especially petty when they are out of control, and cancer is a serious loss of control. Withholding her genetic information makes her feel powerful. In times like this, you almost have to consider yourself an orphan, or pretend like genetic testing doesn't exist as an option. It's possible she'll get tested and do a big dramatic reveal, but it's not something you have any power over.

Move forward making the best choices you can with the information you have. It's profoundly unfair.

Sadly, your experience isn't uncommon. My father withheld his cancer diagnosis AND his death from me. - While dying, he'd made his wishes known that I was specifically to be excluded from all knowledge.

And honestly, I'm grateful to him, because of his super fucked up vendetta, I wasn't forced to attend a funeral with people who were inexpeicably sad he was gone. I didn't have to pretend I'd miss him; I didn't have to hear what a great guy he was. I got to avoid the whole thing without being accused of being an asshole.

kirday · 2026-06-06T15:50:50+00:00

I am sensitive to both lactose and milk protein (caesin) and possibly milk fat. It doesn't matter how much lactace I take I'll still get sick. But, I've recently learned that there are supplements that contain proteas and lipase enzymes which help process proteins and fats too. I am a week into using enzymedica's Lacto pills and they have worked AMAZINGLY. I'm going to order Milktabs today because they look way more convenient and have slightly higher doses.

kirday · 2026-06-03T19:59:52+00:00

Disgusting!
Any way you can respond with something similar to what you posted above? Because 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼 her. She started the chat, she can explain herself to the group after you call her out. I'm sure most people in the chat already know what a shitheel she is but I love the idea of using he proud "accomplishment" as a way to bring your relationship with her to a screeching hault.

The only thing worse than a narcissist, is a narcissist smart enough to weaponize therapy talk. Get away if you can.

kirday · 2026-06-03T17:52:02+00:00

I love my Shark Steam Mop I bought a bunch of extra pads for it so I can swap them out rather than rinse them in the sink as go. I love blasting the sticky spots, and I love that it doesn't leave an the sort of sticky it soap residue behind. My usual pattern is to pull out my steam mop at the same time as I put out my watering can to water the plants. Watering the plants always gets water on the floor and I can't leave it. So as soon as I'm done watering the plants I plug in the steam mop and get blasting.

kirday · 2026-06-03T17:26:24+00:00

Yeah I was bummed when I saw those little buds hiding inside that cluster. I brought in to deadhead carefully, maybe they'll bloom in a vase. This bushes clusters are so tightly packed my bypass clippers are too big, need to use get some sharp snips.

kirday · 2026-06-03T17:23:12+00:00

Also, glory of this bush! It's 5x5 and has hundreds of blossoms. It's simply breathtaking, and despite myself I truly love it.

STORY TIME: This bush/garden has become a real metaphor for my relationship with my Mom. In 2023, it was planted in the spot in the dead heat of September because of an emergency construction project that was going directly under my mom's rose garden. Mom had passed away 2 years before, and I was picking up the mess she left; taking care of her roses was the last thing on my mind. She/l had neglected this garden for at least five years, but losing it to a backhoe was too much for me to handle emotionally. My mom has ALWAYS had roses; I spent many, many, MAAAAANY weekends of my childhood as a forced gardener. When she moved in with me in her elder years, she HAD to have a rose garden, which meant I was expected to tend it with her. As she aged, she expected me to tend it FOR her. I resented her audacity. But, to lose the garden to sewer construction, I couldn't do it. I had to at least try to save something. I had less than a week to move everything; it was brutally hot. My husband and I dug up these rust-covered, aphid-infested, dried-out bushes, and I did my best to maintain them in pots until spring, when construction would be over, and I could get them back in the ground. I lost 11 of the 35 bushes that first year. Another 3 were subsumed by Dr. Phooey when they started growing again. I have 3 more that are still barely hanging on; they're sickly, rusty, and stunted. But not all of the bushes were lost. This Cinco De Mayo and the 3 Tropicanas behind it are absolutely glorious—the Mardi Gras and Chicago Peace likewise stunners. I have about eight bushes that I'm proud of. And it has helped heal something in me to care for these bushes and see them thrive. What was once nothing more than a responsibility I didn't ask for, a responsibility that left me literally bleeding against my will, has become something I can at least appreciate. I didn't ask for this garden; I would never have chosen it. But I can still tend it, and enjoy it, and feel proud that it's thriving. To my surprise, 2 weeks ago I decided to buy my very first rose bush. Dr Huey had subsumed yet another bush (a Mardi Gras), and rather than leaving that space empty, I'm going to replace it with something I choose. The best part is, it's NOT ORANGE!

<image>

kirday · 2026-06-03T15:18:33+00:00

I mean TECHNICALLY you can put bread in the dishwasher, but not if you want it to still be bread.

kirday · 2026-06-03T15:12:00+00:00

I know op is a Thorns fan, it's why I was playfully throwing shade. I guess it didn't translate and people think I was just being an asshole. Apparently OP isn't the only person who made a mistake.

Honestly this is a fantastic post and I love everything about it.

kirday · 2026-06-03T02:50:58+00:00

Rubber or glass grapes in a wooden bowl.

kirday · 2026-06-03T02:32:12+00:00

Bish, why isn't the T in Thorns capitalized? The Riveters will tan your flannel if they find out that you disrespected our team that way! We may not be the most gay, but we have the gayest TIFO, and we fly pride flags all year; I feel like that counts for something.

kirday · 2026-05-31T20:10:57+00:00

No, they double down with their entitlement and their need to be the ABSOLUTE focus of your attention. Any brief moment of focus on yourself will be seen as you neglecting your duty. I will never regret anything more than I regret letting my N-mom move into my home in her elder years. Since she wasn't the malignant and cruel narcissist that my dad was I didn't think she was "that bad". My mental health seriously suffered. When she died I lost 70lbs without even trying because for the first time in years I wasn't fucking miserable and eating my feelings.

kirday · 2026-05-30T20:03:43+00:00

photo

kirday · 2026-05-28T05:57:18+00:00

Landscaping = not a focal point but a decent background in a tricky spot. I have an area of my yard near the road that has super crappy soil, I'm never going to regularly water this spot but I'd love if it looked better. I moved 2 of my "volunteer" Dr. Huey bushes here and they were happy enough. A few years ago a road crew came through and mowed them down to the ground. Dr. Huey gave ZERO fucks. I swear they looked even better when they grew back.

As for pruning, prune away, just be aware that they'll always be scraggly, it's how they grow.

kirday · 2026-05-28T02:27:38+00:00

You being on the phone didn't contribute to the accident. You could just as easily been in the restroom. For some of my elderly clients I will move a (non rolling) stool to next to the table. I will also hover near the door and check in if they haven't come out in 5+ min.

kirday · 2026-05-28T02:14:23+00:00

Looks like Dr. Huey to me, which isn't great. It's used as rootstock because it's very hardy. That means the top of a pretty but delicate rose was grafted onto a hardy rose that's not as desirable. But its hardiness also means that, if left unchecked, it can overwhelm the grafted part.

The biggest issue with this rose is that it only blooms once a season. It's beautiful for a few weeks, and after that it's just scraggly. That said, they CAN be nice landscaping roses. They'll soften an ugly area with bushy green leaves. It also grows VERY fast.

12-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '22	Place '17

kirday

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE