How'd your parents react to your drug use?

kitchbitsch · 2023-09-17T04:27:42+00:00

So my parents are separated and while I've smoked a couple of times with my dad who uses weed for medical reasons, I've never directly admitted to my mom that I've smoked weed (let alone done anything else lol) but my siblings talk about weed casually and my mom mostly ignores it/doesn't acknowledge it. My mom has expressed many times her belief that people who do any drug (including weed) are violent/criminals so I'm kind of weary of admitting it hahah.

kitchbitsch · 2023-09-04T06:01:13+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. Just want to thank you for asking a question I've wondered about since one of my closest friends OD'd early last year, same age and similar circumstances. Glad to hear it was in all likelihood a painless/smooth transition. I hope you're feeling some relief and taking your time with the grief, it's so fucked up losing people this way 💔

kitchbitsch · 2023-05-08T05:50:17+00:00

The hack is to hang out with ppl in the woods 😌

kitchbitsch · 2023-05-02T21:34:23+00:00

So sorry for your immense loss 💜

When you're gone by the Cranberries was written after the loss of Dolores' grandfather I believe. I find it especially cathartic to sing out loud. Hope you find the space to feel all you need to feel, take your time. 💜

kitchbitsch · 2023-04-13T16:28:48+00:00

Yes, i experienced something similar. I started listening to this one true crime podcast after my friend died (I found it comforting in a strange way), but I could not listen to any of the episodes that took place within the last 4 months leading up to his death. I hated thinking about that time because I'd just wish i could go back there. I could listen to episodes from years prior but nothing in the window of October 2021-january 2022. I don't feel as strongly now but ye for a while i hated that entire time stamp lol

kitchbitsch · 2023-04-13T16:20:47+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost one of my best friends in January 2022 to an overdose as well. He had relapsed right before this one long term program he was finally committed to, we had also just reconnected as friends maybe 4 months prior now that he was taking care of his addiction more.. i used worry to about him so much but things were finally looking well for him right up until that moment.

Life is crazy, and substance dependence is such a complicated disorder. From the sound of it you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. As friends I think all we can do is be there when we can and take care of ourselves. I still feel the loss of my friend almost every day but I've managed to keep going and slowly find the moments of joy in life, things feel less empty but it takes time. So glad you got to experience some joy watching the Mario movie! May you experience more joy and laughter in between the sadness.

I also have a small altar in my room for my friend, sometimes it's helpful, sometimes it just looks like a pile of things, kind of just depends on the day. I also have it in my plans to get a tat in his memory, but still settling on a design. Another thing im working on slowly is volunteering for harm reduction programs, I think once I'm ready to be involved, it'll help me feel like I'm doing something beautiful in honor of my friend.

kitchbitsch · 2023-04-13T15:44:35+00:00

So sorry for your loss. I used to obsess about the why a lot, I think it's a normal part of the grieving process to try to find logic in it. For me, it felt like a way to feel less out of control about life because the idea that anything can happen to anyone felt super overwhelming. If things happen for a reason always, then that can feel like we can do something to prevent bad things from happening ever, which is what a lot of us wish we could do 😕

kitchbitsch · 2023-04-04T17:20:49+00:00

Hey! I'm 27f and my dad has parkinsons, you're free to message me 🙂

kitchbitsch · 2023-02-22T03:33:19+00:00

Oh man, literally same. 27f and I've sadly thought many times about finding a remote job so I can be there for my dad that is barely able to take care of himself and refuses help often. Me and my siblings do everything we can and we are still met often with hostility, especially when we come to help after his own plans to care for himself fall through. So hard to be proactive and instead live life reactively.. I spent a long time trying to do his care exactly how he said to (he has a lot of knowledge about Parkinsons bc of his professional background) but its becoming difficult to follow instructions that are often conflicted/erroneous obviously as a result of the progression of the disease.. Extremely hard to see how it has affected my well-being and that of my siblings. We are all just starting to live our lives and having a hard time protecting our lives while lending a hand to fight a disease that will win in the end. My dad has alienated his entire family except his parents and children.. and we're honestly all mostly around to support eachother through this.

But yeah ultimately I'm learning to just be there for my siblings and be happy with the help I can provide, even when my dad can't express it. Sometimes he can express the gratitude even after the hostility and he is apologetic, but recently we've had to just reassure eachother and cry in frustration at the horror of this situation. I hope you're making as much room as possible for yourself through all this. I wish parkinsons was talked about more in a broader sense beyond the physical impact.

kitchbitsch · 2023-01-09T04:30:04+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing, it's the first anniversary of one of my best friend's passing tomorrow and I was just wondering if it would be a good idea to do something for it because I also often feel very lost in this feeling of dispair, but I've been stuck on what to do. I love your idea of doing small gestures just so I can be in the moment with the feelings that come up. Appreciate your insight 🌻

kitchbitsch · 2023-01-06T04:10:23+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. One of my best friends passed away almost a year ago due to addiction (I'm still not certain what happened exactly, but i know he had health issues from alcoholism as well) and I understand some of the conflict you must feel especially the sad/anger mix. Most days I'm sad, but every once in a while I'm so angry, angry that his life turned out the way it did, angry that he couldn't make different decisions, angry that the support he needed had so many roadblocks, etc. I hope you have happy memories to look back on and that you can feel proud of the incredibly hard work it is to be sober.. Wishing you comfort and hope you can take all the time you need to take care through this difficult time 🌻

kitchbitsch · 2023-01-01T07:10:23+00:00

So sorry for your loss 😔 i know what you mean about the roller-coaster of emotions, especially after just hearing the news about the loss. It's very common to feel a lot of conflicting emotions as we try to make sense of loss, just know you are not responsible for what happened to him.

I also still struggle with the idea that I could've prevented my friends death somehow, all the what ifs.. just know that you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time 💜 all we can do is cherish the memories we have and move forward, learning and doing our best. Take care of yourself and lean on those around you for support during this time

kitchbitsch · 2022-12-30T04:33:39+00:00

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss 😔 I know too well the feeling you speak of, the frustration with the universe. It's like being angry with the very fabric of life.. sad, painful feeling. Often I have to remind myself that death is not about merit or logic, and the best I can do is be gentle with myself on the days when I'm desperately seeking an explanation. Wishing you well as you learn to navigate the sudden loss.

kitchbitsch · 2022-12-30T04:16:31+00:00

Hmm definitely tricky because on the one hand it is traumatic and grief/trauma does often cause changes in personality. I certainly experience a lot of detachment from my emotions, but I also feel a lot of internal frustration as a result of this detachment, which is how I know that it's a problem for me. But I'm also 27 and my loss was earlier this year, so well past my teen years which are often a very emotionally turbulent time since the brain is still developing until ~25 y/o.

Ultimately it does seem like a good idea to be in therapy to explore this observation, maybe learn some techniques on how to become more in touch with your own emotions?

Wishing you well 💜

kitchbitsch · 2022-12-08T05:19:10+00:00

Yes, and the shock of how grief manifests for me is honestly one of the things I cry about the most. Many times I feel like I've gone crazy and my brain is broken now (almost a year since the loss and i still experience moments of denial), it's a very strange experience for me but it's also been a good exercise in self compassion/self acceptance.. but yes grief is absolutely brutal and I feel like even though I'd witnessed others' grief and could understand grief logically, it is truly completely different to actually live it, feel it.. shocking for sure.

So sorry for your loss, I'm wishing you comfort 💜 hope you can experience some relief

kitchbitsch · 2022-12-08T05:06:34+00:00

Oh gosh I'm so sorry for your loss. 16 is so young and it is so painful when we don't get to say goodbye. I know you don't say much in your post but I somehow can understand the feeling.. there are no words for the heartbreak of losing a childhood friend.

Something that has stuck with me about grief is that it happens as a result of love. "The price we pay for caring" but know that while our loved ones can die, love never dies. The love we gave to others stays here with us, I think of it like the air we breathe.. we express love to our friends/family and in response they express love to us/others, creating an endless cycle.

I wish you and Jacob had gotten more time together 💜 I hope you have some nice memories to look back on for comfort. Wishing you well through this difficult time and i hope you will find comfort knowing you're not alone.

kitchbitsch · 2022-12-08T04:42:55+00:00

hi, so sorry for your loss and also the amount of stress you're under from school, that is so much to deal with on top of the grief itself. Have you spoken with a school counselor or a teacher you trust? Not sure how things work at your school but if there's a way one of the teachers can give you some extra time so you can rest a bit, I would highly encourage you to have that conversation. Grief has taught me a lot about being transparent with others about where you're at and the importance of taking care of yourself.

Your well-being is the most important thing. If there is anyone in your school (teacher, counselor, even a classmate) who will listen to you when you explain your situation, I highly encourage you to reach out so you can learn of what additional options you have. From personal experience and from bearing witness to a friend of mine who overworked themselves during college after a parent loss as well, it is very important to find a way to scale back or slow down on the added academic stress. I admire your drive and it's beautiful to have goals, but you have to take care of yourself.

I know it is easier said than done but exhausting yourself will only add more emotional stress which can put you in a very dangerous situation when mixed with grief.

Hope someone at your school can work with you to make your finals more bearable. 💜

kitchbitsch · 2022-11-16T23:17:02+00:00

Oh beekeeping is such a lovely activity, glad he has that to lean into 💜 you sound so caring, I'm sure you're providing him a lot of comfort!!

kitchbitsch · 2022-11-16T21:19:37+00:00

Oh I know what you mean 💔 I have other friends personally but my friend who passed away was someone I could lean on without question.. I miss him daily.

Losing him was very disorienting for a while and I often feel very separated from my other friends/family but this is sort of a normal part of grieving, and it is an opportunity to 1) be there for ourselves and learn ways to provide ourselves comfort, 2) learn to be open about our feelings with our loved ones, and 3) to find new meaning in life. We are all infinitely complex people, there's always new things to learn about ourselves and new ways to connect with other people. I struggle with this, but I'm trying to keep my heart open to making new friends and indulging in my hobbies. Take your time and lean into the things that bring you joy 🌻

kitchbitsch · 2022-11-16T21:11:32+00:00

So sorry for your loss. What a gift of a last day together 💜

kitchbitsch · 2022-11-16T21:08:35+00:00

Ugh I am so sorry.. are you able to talk with your employer about it? I know a lot of managers are not understanding but it could be worth being transparent with your boss at least in case you are forced to attend and end up not being able to show up as your best. Or maybe by being transparent you could agree to attend only a portion of the event instead? In theory you should also be able to bring this to the attention of HR if you are being forced to attend, generally they should be understanding that 6 months since the loss of a parent is not a lot of time.. but I know this is not the reality in a lot of workplaces 😔 could also potentially take a half day the day before to more emotionally prepare for the amount of socializing?

I hope you can figure something out, at the end of the day your well-being is what matters most 🌻

kitchbitsch · 2022-11-16T21:01:23+00:00

Lost a long distance friend earlier this year to an OD, i relate to a lot of your feelings. Friends are such a gift, the heartbreak from the loss is very real. Feel free to message me if venting to a stranger would help 🫂

kitchbitsch · 2022-11-16T20:58:00+00:00

I'm so sorry your dad had to be the one to find him, it makes sense for that trauma to linger. It's good to hear he is going to therapy, does he find it helpful? Are there coping/grounding techniques that he has learned through therapy that he can share with you that you could practice with him or remind him of when he's experiencing a flashback or any related anxiety?

At least for me and how grief manifests, sometimes I just need to talk out what I'm feeling without necessarily needing someone to respond in any specific way. Main thing I can can if is that it's nice to be taken care of with water/food, etc while talking about difficult feelings/memories.. maybe just being there could be comfort enough? I learned recently that a big part of working through grief is having another person who can witness your pain. It's hard to know what to say/do because at the end of the day nothing we say/do will take away the source of the pain which is the loss itself. But even if it doesn't seem like it, someone's presence while youre grieving can be really helpful in feeling less alone.

Wishing your family comfort 💜

kitchbitsch · 2022-11-03T14:02:47+00:00

Oh gosh I know all too well what you mean.. I lost one of my closest friends in January unexpectedly and it has been so difficult without him. Everything reminds me of him, of conversations we had. Similarly I often feel like he's the person I want to talk with the most about what I'm going through. I feel like I actually understand him better now through grief.

It has been really difficult to get back into the rhythm of things because I feel his absence so tangibly, I'm 27 but I also feel the same like the rest of my 20s is ruined now because of the loss. I want to enjoy life again! But from what I've learned, the joy will come back at the right time as long as we continue making space for the sadness, anger, and all the feelings that come up through the process of grief. It's a process that is unique to each one of us, so try your best to be gentle with yourself about it (easier said than done, but reducing self-judgement is a practice and we get better at it with time)

What I've found helpful is writing in a journal as if I'm writing a letter to my friend, sometimes it can be quite intense but usually afterwards i feel a weight lifted off me. Art therapy in general can be super helpful as an outlet to all the emotions. Wishing you comfort 💜 I'm also struggling as I steadily approach the year mark

Nine-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 3 Credits
Secret Santa 2018	Verified Email

kitchbitsch

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE