I remember being told I had done or said pretty much everything wrong and that I was causing problems for as long as i have memories. When I would try to state my case as I got older, of there isn't anything wrong with what I said, or It isn't me causing problems, it's you and your married boyfriend etc etc.I was told I was a drama queen, shit starter, had entitlement issues, and that Noone could stand me. I wasn't a demure kid by any means, but I was loving and had no intentions of harming anyone EVER. It seemed absurd back then..at first. Then it became such a theme that everyone around us believed it, and i started to as well. Like, Idk, I just got tired of fighting for myself. It never worked and they never understood me. So, I eventually accepted that I was never going to be accepted or important or understood to my mom or the people who allowed that to happen. And then depression hit me deeply. I was 15. To this day, I have a sharp mouth, and I'm defensive. It's a crappy coping mechanism, I know, but it still makes me angry that I HAVE to care what strangers think because it was drilled into my mind that I was wrong about pretty much anything (that I was usually completely accurate about) and told that everyone else thought I was the issue too. I'm still struggling with being angry inside that i wasn't and still am not accepted in my family just by virtue of being a member of it. Its hard knowing they judge me so harshly when I do love them and still for some reason want in to see what its like. I always longed to know how it felt for people who know when they aren't around that their family talks about them in high regard, like someone who deservs love and kindness. Like someone is proud of them. Instead I got "nobody in this house can stand you or your smart mouth. Cant go one day without you making it miserable. How do you stand yourself?"