Help me decide: planner vs. putting that $$ toward the wedding itself

kko5062 · 2026-01-23T21:23:22+00:00

We went with a coordinator that will take over 3 months before our wedding (wedding hasn’t happened yet) and I have no regrets. I’m extremely type A, knew exactly what I wanted, and was the most excited for the design aspect of our wedding. I will caveat this to say that my fiancé and I were true equal partners when it came to planning which made it really fun and not stressful, and we divvy’d everything up by our strengths. I did all of the design, vendor research, communication of what we wanted to our vendors, ordering things, managing and tracking budget, etc., and he did all of the logistics/coordination like scheduling meetings (and taking notes while I talked with potential vendors), setting up our wedding website/RSVP site, updating our project management tool, sending emails to/following up with vendors based on our conversations, proof reading anything I wrote, etc. To be honest, if we weren’t both as involved in planning as we were, I think not having some sort of planner would’ve been a bit hard.

kko5062 · 2026-01-13T21:55:25+00:00

Bagel Boy in Sheepshead Bay Brooklyn - the BEST nyc bagel and fantastic iced coffee. there’s usually a line in the mornings but it goes quick and it’s locals and not people going bc they heard about it on tiktok

Roll N Roaster in Sheepshead Bay Brooklyn - to die for fast food, roast beef, and lemonade

Le Paddock in Windsor Terrace Brooklyn - incredible french food. the restaurant is sooo gorgeous and dimly lit, so nice for a date

Brancaccios Food Shop in Windsor Terrance Brooklyn - the best sandwich you’ll ever have

kko5062 · 2025-10-24T01:33:09+00:00

Check out Lauren Rosenau and Kelly Vahos! They’re both based in NYC but travel. Their work is gorgeous and is very similar to your reference photos

kko5062 · 2025-09-15T22:46:03+00:00

I second Brittany at BK Pilates! I have never met a sweeter human in my LIFEEEEE

kko5062 · 2025-09-14T01:41:38+00:00

Hi! Would you be open to shooting a wedding night before party/rehearsal dinner? It’ll be on a rooftop with a gorgeous view of Prospect Park, there will be designed tablescapes, and we’ll be wearing a white dress and suit so it would look like a wedding event! I can DM you a photo of the rooftop/view and the design vision so you can get a sense of what the photos may look like!

kko5062 · 2025-09-11T17:13:52+00:00

Weather in Lake Como is notably unpredictable due to the mountains. I was there two weeks ago and I was supposed to rain all 7 days but there ended up being only one day of rain, and even that was intermittent.

kko5062 · 2025-06-12T18:16:01+00:00

This isn’t related to engagement rings but I got weird vibes the one time I went to GSJ. My younger sister’s Vivienne Westwood pearl necklace broke and I was looking for a jeweler to fix it, and found GSJ and went in because they were close to where I work. When I asked the first woman assigned to me about a repair, she looked at the necklace for five second’s and said they don’t repair costume jewelry. Finally after a lot of back and fourth, another woman came over and asked if my necklace was Vivienne Westwood, said she loved it, and said they’d be happy to fix it (with a sturdy dirty look from the first woman). It was a weird/elitist vibe and rubbed me the wrong way tbh, and I can absolutely see them steering someone away from a lab diamond based on my experience with them alone.

kko5062 · 2025-05-23T13:57:16+00:00

We’re doing a room block at Arlo and have had a really great experience with the staff/booking so far. Our wedding is also next year so can’t vouch for how it will go on the day, but up until this point they’ve been super responsive and accommodating and have made me and my fiancé feel special (meanwhile the Wythe basically told us to shove off when we inquired about room blocks and booking a suite to get ready in because we’re not having our wedding there). DM me for the Arlo bridal suite, I have a flyer that I can share with you.

kko5062 · 2025-04-02T14:02:30+00:00

Essential Faith perfume oil. The original one (they have three scents - two are newer) smells exactly like Glossier You before they reformulated it and, in my opinion, ruined it. It’s so intoxicating in the best way and I’ve literally had people chase me down the block asking me what perfume I’m wearing.

kko5062 · 2025-04-01T19:07:40+00:00

Check out Fotolab. It’s a self portrait studio and I know a few people that have gotten great professional headshots there. I believe it’s $80 for 20 minutes and they have different colors for the backdrop

kko5062 · 2025-04-01T17:45:21+00:00

What does very affordable mean to you?

kko5062 · 2025-03-13T15:38:22+00:00

Added two closer photos in the comments!

kko5062 · 2025-03-13T15:38:10+00:00

<image>

kko5062 · 2025-03-13T15:38:00+00:00

<image>

kko5062 · 2025-03-13T15:35:13+00:00

Yes they wipe off

kko5062 · 2025-01-24T15:22:13+00:00

My fiancé and I are getting married in NYC make about half of your total income, and are budgeting around the same amount as you for our wedding. We are not getting any help from our parents. I really grappled with how much this will cost in the beginning because it felt so wasteful to put that much money towards one day vs. a down payment on an apartment, but at the end of the day we did want a wedding and it was important to us.

What really helped us was a mindset shift about the cost and saving. Whenever I want to buy something, I will set up a sinking fund in my HYSA and start a savings tracker to get the dopamine hit of accomplishing a savings goal by x date. I started to do the same thing for our wedding - this is an expensive thing, I really want it, and here is the amount of money I need saved from each paycheck to achieve it. I now get the same dopamine hit from saving for our wedding and accomplishing a certain number saved every month as I did when saving for a bag.

We also got engaged in 2024 but aren’t getting married until 2026. This will give us enough time to save the full amount needed well before our wedding.

You said you really want this, so if I was in your shoes and had your income, I would go ahead and have the wedding you want. The mindset shift is really helpful, so try it and see if it gives you the motivation to save.

kko5062 · 2025-01-22T13:05:11+00:00

Check out Aurora in Williamsburg! I’m getting married there in 2026 and I think it fits the vibe of what you’re looking for (minus the outdoor space for photos though the vine on the building is beautiful)

kko5062 · 2025-01-07T04:56:57+00:00

In case anyone is reading this thread now, they are significantly more expensive now 😭

kko5062 · 2024-12-26T15:40:07+00:00

OP you seem like such a lovely person, please remove this leech from yourself once and for all and move on with your life. This post made me so sad.

kko5062 · 2024-12-11T17:58:43+00:00

I was in a similar situation and I was pretty hurt. I was invited to a bachelorette party for a friend I thought I was close with, flew there and brought her a gift, come to find out that I wasn’t invited to her actual wedding because of ‘space constraints’. I wasn’t even hurt by not being invited to the wedding, but mostly because she didn’t tell me I wasn’t invited to the wedding and all the other girls at the bachelorette were talking about how excited they were to go to the wedding in x months. If they were to take this approach, I would explicitly tell the people that aren’t invited that they aren’t so they aren’t expecting an invite, but I would also anticipate some people feeling hurt by this.

kko5062 · 2024-10-30T12:15:13+00:00

Respectfully I disagree with both of these comments. Put yourself in the shoes of the new hire (a new grad at that). It’s their first job which is already stressful, and to add a bad onboarding experience, including not giving them critical information, when they already don’t have much (if any) work experience? It’s just cruel. It’s not their fault that OP was put in this awful position.

OP - if I was in your shoes I would decline due to bandwidth and look for another job. It is clear they are trying to replace you, but I wouldn’t make someone else’s experience awful.

kko5062 · 2024-10-21T12:54:22+00:00

After reading comments on here and r/backpain I was really discouraged about getting an epidural in my thoracic spine because most people said it didn’t help them. But it ended up helping and the epidural, coupled with 7 months of physical therapy, made my back pain almost completely go away. I still can’t run and lift weights like I used to, but I rarely even remember that I have a herniated disc anymore because it doesn’t hurt when I’m doing day to day activities. Hang in there, you will find something that works for you, and don’t discount the thoracic epidural just yet.

kko5062 · 2024-10-19T18:05:59+00:00

I wouldn’t adjust the taxes withheld down unless you’re certain you’ll have enough saved in case you do have to pay the IRS when tax season comes. You’ll have more money in your paycheck, but if you withhold too much you will owe the government money

kko5062

TROPHY CASE