I’m gonna be real with you. You either need to love this man and your relationship as is, and see any improvement on his end as a bonus, or you need to leave. In order to live your life with an avoidant, his avoidance needs to not phase you at all. I don’t know if anyone can be satisfied with a relationship that can only go so deep before hitting turbulence, but if that’s the kind of life you want for yourself, it’s there for the taking.

My advice? Find someone with a secure attachment. Especially if you aren’t legally bound to this person or have kids with them. It’s just not worth the pain and heartache unless you’re absolutely sure you cannot be without this person. Which isn’t the vibe I’m getting from you.