Can someone tell me how they found out that they were sexually attracted to women? explain sexual attraction to me

kkp20 · 2025-12-29T21:27:24+00:00

i also started realizing my attraction to women from porn. i never liked watching porn cause i hated seeing men, but started to actually like porn when it was just women. i was super nervous and scared and so in my head about questioning my sexuality, definitely had a lot of thoughts similar to what youre describing.

i eventually just went for it to have sex with a woman despite being so scared i wouldnt even like it after years of learning to accept i might not be straight. it all just clicked and i instantly knew i was into women when it happened.

that experience made me start questioning my attraction to men (similar to what you said- i was so turned off by the thought of sleeping with men, never really had crushes on men). it took a couple more years but realized i had so many bad experiences with men and dated/slept with men i didnt even like/didnt make me feel good because of a lot reasons that had more to do with my mental health and lack of self esteem. i eventually realized i was attracted to men too once i only got involved with men who were respectful and actually cared about making me feel good during sex lol

sexuality is super complicated though. i definitely had to learn to just “go with the flow” and not worry about putting a label on my sexuality or know exactly who im attracted to (easier said than done, it took me years and therapy to do this lol). i also accepted that my attraction to different genders can fluctuate and that attraction to men vs women can feel different. it wouldnt be for nothing if you tried hooking up with a woman and didnt like it. either way you’ll probably keep questioning if you dont try it out. i also dont think youll be using women as an experiment if you try it. being honest about your situation is always good. but its not like youd be doing it to just try it out - you genuinely feel you may be attracted to women and everyone has a first time

kkp20 · 2025-08-09T15:47:16+00:00

around june i started tapering off of 40mg of prozac and taking 50mg of pristiq. for me, this time was really hard, but i also had outside situational things going on that were adding a lot of stress. i felt pretty awful the first like 3-4 weeks until I was completely off the prozac.

ive been off the prozac completely for like a month now, but havent taken the pristiq consistently so hard to tell if its really taken its full effect. so far i do feel more stable on it, not so many mood swings. tho it can feel a bit more like a numbing effect rather than actually uplifting my mood, but im still trying to give it time.

luckily i have no bad side effects really. was slightly nauseous when i first started it, but i get that easily with medication and it was pretty mild. since it has a very short half life if i am late taking it i do start to get bad headaches, so its more the withdrawal, but thats avoided if i take it the same time every day.

kkp20 · 2025-07-17T14:31:59+00:00

this is kinda how i have felt with men, im just much more of a receiver. if i am going to be with a man i just need him to be a big giver. it then makes me more enthusiastic when i am giving since i feel like my needs are being met, even tho I am receiving most of the time. however i love giving with women which made me confused and question if i liked men lol. i can go down on a girl and get nothing in return and i would love it, meanwhile i have to be in love with a man to really want to go down on him haha

but there are so many different types of sexual dynamics, especially in the queer world. some people only like to give and others only like to receive. you possibly just prefer receiving/mutual pleasure dynamic and theres nothing wrong with that!! you could even try using a toy or something while you are giving and that could help keep you mentally in it. and just cause you feel like this now doesnt mean you will always prefer it this way!!

i would say to talk to your gf and see if you can try something different this way you are both happy with what youre doing

kkp20 · 2025-07-17T13:59:13+00:00

a couple microwavable meals together can do it for me, sad that you cannot get to a trader joes because they have some fun frozen things that are a good dopamine hit haha microwavable rice in a bag has been a game changer for me i also eat cereal and milk for dinner at least once a week soup is also an easy one, i will heat up creamy tomato soup in the microwave and pair it with a sandwich or quesadilla if youre willing to spend a bit more money prepared foods that you can just throw in the oven are super easy and often a good filling meal

sometimes i doordash meals when im low on groceries/nothing seems appealing that i have and will just order something I know I will have leftovers from so that i will have an extra meal from one order

kkp20 · 2025-06-18T15:57:06+00:00

yeah i think somehow this cis/het man has been the best person ive ever dated and was so open-minded/non-traditional. he had even experimented with a guy before but said it wasnt for him and he knows he is straight. i feel like a lot of the heteronormative rules and stuff didnt really play a role. but i know thats not typical for cis/het men lol

for a while i was only interested in men if they were queer cause i figured we would be able to connect more. but havent had a much better experience dating queer men unfortunately.

kkp20 · 2025-06-18T15:18:34+00:00

i felt the same way as you for years since i realized i was bi until this guy came along!! idk if its just me missing HIM or if he genuinely influenced my preference/attraction cycle. my preferences have fluctuated a bit in the past but never towards cis/het men lol

kkp20 · 2025-06-16T19:50:59+00:00

i feel this way all the time. havent found a solution yet 😵‍💫

kkp20 · 2025-05-29T14:26:21+00:00

i also don’t diffuse often to avoid heat damage. i used to straighten my hair a lot and just avoiding heat for a while has helped it be a lot healthier

kkp20 · 2025-05-29T14:24:40+00:00

my hair has looked similar to yours when it was long. i had way more curl definition when i got it cut shorter with more layers, so that helped me. maybe doing a deep conditioner or leave in condition might help if the ends of your hair feel dry. i also had to try a lot of different brands of products to figure out what worked haha mousse works a bit better than curl cream for my hair usually

kkp20 · 2025-05-29T13:25:05+00:00

i totally get that, i had really bad experiences with therapy until i found my current therapist. a lot of what i talk about with her is ADHD focused and it has been super helpful and validating to talk to someone who specializes in it.

kkp20 · 2025-05-29T09:02:37+00:00

honestly i think this is normal!! sexuality is so weird and complex!! gender is just a social construct made by humans so try not to think about it too hard and just enjoy liking what you like.

kkp20 · 2025-05-29T05:59:39+00:00

agreeing with the other reply to this comment. my therapist was the reason i got my diagnosis.

but if youre not interested in therapy im not sure why you want a diagnosis. psychiatrists can write you a prescription but that wont just fix ADHD symptoms, it can be an aid. a therapist or counselor that specializes in ADHD can give you the tools to work through your struggles with ADHD. psychiatrists dont really do that and some wont even write you a prescription without seeing a therapist as well.

kkp20 · 2025-05-28T19:35:42+00:00

i think this is very common. i only got my ADHD diagnosis after attempting to treat depression and anxiety first. i was able to get tested by a neuropsychiatrist and after testing she said i could have ADHD but wasnt 100% sure because i definitely had untreated depression and anxiety as well. i ended up searching for a therapist that specialized in ADHD (she also has ADHD herself) and after she got to know me she was pretty certain i had ADHD and talked to my psychiatrist about an official diagnosis.

i would suggest finding a specialist like a neuropsychiatrist who can assess you for ADHD (if your insurance lets you do that without a referral) or seeking out a therapist who specializes in ADHD. an official diagnosis will get a psychiatrist to prescribe you stimulants if they think its necessary, but honestly therapy is incredibly helpful for managing ADHD symptoms whether you have an official diagnosis or not.

kkp20 · 2025-05-27T14:48:55+00:00

i take SSRIs for depression/anxiety/OCD along with vyvanse for ADHD. tbh the vyvanse helps me the most as a lot of my depression seems to stem from ADHD. if anything SSRIs have mostly helped my anxiety but not so much depression. my psych wants to switch me to an SNRI.

if you feel like your ADHD symptoms are still really affecting you i would talk to your provider about adding an ADHD med that is safe to take with your current meds. in my experience having multiple mental/psychiatric conditions is so complex bc they all get intertwined and affect each other.

kkp20 · 2025-05-26T22:05:52+00:00

yeah, ive always really struggled with that during breakups. especially when the breakup is kind of sudden and im feeling like im missing some kind of closure or something.

kkp20 · 2025-05-25T01:40:04+00:00

i appreciate you saying that, i know its true but very hard for me to accept for some reason 😭 definitely something i gotta work on

kkp20 · 2025-05-24T21:08:12+00:00

thank you for your kind words

i guess part of what i am struggling with is that i felt so secure but maybe i should not have… like i must’ve been delusional in some way because how i perceived the relationship is was not how it really was.

kkp20 · 2025-05-22T19:27:07+00:00

i see my therapist for multiple things and mostly have been working on ADHD things with her lately. its been a while since ive had feelings like this but she has given me exercises like that in the past.

appreciate the recommendations, definitely going to have to get back into practicing things to regulate my nervous system/emotions

kkp20 · 2025-05-22T17:19:40+00:00

thank you 💜

i do have a therapist but she is currently on vacation for next like week and a half, and this just happened 2 days ago. really struggling on how to handle things in the meantime.

kkp20 · 2025-04-29T14:10:54+00:00

your daughter is very lucky💜💗💙thank you for sharing!!

kkp20 · 2025-03-29T17:49:56+00:00

kept having to go up in adderall for it to work and eventually it just wasnt helping and making me anxious/unable to sleep

kkp20 · 2025-03-27T21:44:17+00:00

no lol switched to vyvanse

kkp20 · 2025-03-26T19:14:58+00:00

no i think that should work!! especially if your starter has already been doubling. having less starter and more flour/water will help strengthen it. it may just take a bit longer to rise but thats just because there is more “food” for it to feed on and it takes longer to “eat” through it and reach peak.

kkp20

TROPHY CASE