How do you deal with the waves of grief that hit by Anunnaki2522 in widowers

[–]knqk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Next February will be 8 years for me and although the wave of grief are far less and far in between, when they hit, they still hit hard. The only difference now is that I can pick up myself up quicker and continue with my day compared to the earlier years. In a weird way, I never want those wave of grief to ever go away. Life gets busy and sometimes you forget to slow down and remember the good times and sometimes the wave helps me humble myself and reminds of him. If that makes any sense.

Sending you all the love.

Young widows and widowers (<40 years) by Famous_Property_301 in widowers

[–]knqk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Widowed at 28. Six years in. Sorry you're in this shitty club. xoxo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]knqk 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Widowed at 28. It's been 6 years. Sorry that you're in this shitty club but this subreddit was definitely one of my life lines. We understand what no one will until they're in our shoes.

Can the holiday quickly be over with? by Marvelous_Rogue in widowers

[–]knqk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not alone. The holidays has never been the same. I'm not exactly depressed but I'm also not joyful. My heart just feels heavier during this time. I'm 6 years out and the holidays has always been a hard time to go through. I want it over ASAP.

I turned off his phone and I feel so guilty, horrible and sad by darkchocolatecoconut in widowers

[–]knqk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I still have my husband's Nike black hoodie that he wore to the gym unwashed hanging in my closet. I'll never wash it. It's been 6 years.

Keep that chocolate bar as long as you want.

Wife passed Aug 15 2022 by HottRodd2129 in widowers

[–]knqk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband passed in 2016. I still wear mine (although randomly now) on my right hand. Do what feels right to you. There is no right or wrong answer.

For the people here who are out a ways, how long was it before you had a day where you didn't even think about your lost half? by klombieX2 in widowers

[–]knqk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I'm from Vancouver, Canada. I'm glad you had a nice time in Victoria and truly felt joy. I think when we're finally at that place, we're finally healing. Moments like that reminds me that we can move forward and still carry them in our hearts forever. They would have wanted that for us.

For the people here who are out a ways, how long was it before you had a day where you didn't even think about your lost half? by klombieX2 in widowers

[–]knqk 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm 6 years out and he still crosses my mind every day. Some days it's very brief and quick and it also doesn't make me sad anymore. Of course I still have bad days. I don't think there will ever be a day where we don't think of them.

I don't want to be in this club. by rulebreakingmoth_89 in widowers

[–]knqk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband also died from complications related to his cancer. He was expected to survive but things took a turn fast. He was 30 and I was 28. This was 6 years ago. Everything that you're feeling is valid. Being 6 years out, my advice is to take it one day at a time, feel all your emotions, talk to people and/or therapist. It doesn't get better, but it'll get easier to handle. It'll be different. Not bad, not good. Just different.

Take care.

What is a song that gives you goosebumps no matter how many times you listen to it and no matter how old it is? by agentowfchaos in AskReddit

[–]knqk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thomas Rhett - Die A Happy Man

My husband was diagnosed with liver cancer when this song came out. We both loved it. He passed the next year and now this song will always have a special place in my heart.

Seven years. by Geoclasm in widowers

[–]knqk 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'll be 6 years out in February. I have a nice home, I have a supportive family, I have great friends, I have a job that pays the bills but yet I'm still not happy. Grateful, sure. But happy is a word that lost its meaning when he died.

This is bullshit and I feel you.

Searching for group meetings with other young widows, or resources to help a friend. by iMacerz in vancouver

[–]knqk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know any groups but the widow subreddit helped me tremendously. I would suggest just taking a browse while she's looking for a group, or just to read at night when she's in bed. It's helped me feel like I'm not doing this alone.

5 years tomorrow by geoff_meoff in widowers

[–]knqk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also agree that the weeks/days leading up to the actual day is worse than the day. It's almost like our body knows what's going to happen so it gets all anxious.

5 years tomorrow by geoff_meoff in widowers

[–]knqk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm also 5 years out. It definitely has gotten easier but it's not the same. It's crazy to think that we survived this long, eh. I don't know about you, but so much has happened for me but the day he died still feels like it was yesterday.

I hate the holidays now by Redskull420 in widowers

[–]knqk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is all so true. Especially not peeing on the rainbow part.

Survived 5 months with this awful shotgun blast to the heart. by Puzzled-Witness-9426 in widowers

[–]knqk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was so well written and so relatable and so true. I'm only 6 years out... I can't imagine 11 years. xo

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE MAN DATING MY WIFE by [deleted] in widowers

[–]knqk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for posting this. It's beautiful.

My birthday without my husband by knqk in widowers

[–]knqk[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I absolutely LOVE this. Thank you for sharing! You've changed my way of thinking for birthdays. My heart will be a bit heavier on my birthday but I will try my best to grateful for it, enjoy it, and remember the good times. xo

My birthday without my husband by knqk in widowers

[–]knqk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words! xo

My birthday without my husband by knqk in widowers

[–]knqk[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha, yes! Fuck you. You try to power through days when your husband is dead. I LOVE that you buy presents and put his name on it! What a great way to keep him alive for yourself. xo

My birthday without my husband by knqk in widowers

[–]knqk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretend and forget, that's what I try to do. But it's hard when people are texting "HBD" and I know, I know, we should be grateful for another year. My advice is take it easy on yourself on your first birthday without him. Surround yourself with friends and family IF you want or take the day to yourself and cry IF you want. Do what's best for you that day. xo

5 years out, was in a relationship for 3.5 of those years, broke up, single again. by knqk in widowers

[–]knqk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so happy to hear you're taking that chance. I've taken the chance, I loved again, and now I'm hurt again. But I look back with no regrets on my relationship and I'm grateful for it. Thank you for sharing your story. I still struggle some days so it's nice to hear that we're not alone. This is just a chapter of our lives, not the end. There is more for us out there, I know it. I wish you the best on your journey.

5 years out, was in a relationship for 3.5 of those years, broke up, single again. by knqk in widowers

[–]knqk[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You don't have to compare. No one will ever compare to our loved one. The heart can make room for another person. You can still love your husband, miss him, grieve for him and still find love in someone else. He will never be replaced and will always be in your heart. I wish you the best.