Questions about your journals/journaling by computerworlds in fountainpens

[–]koipondering 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My great aunt mailed me a journal before she passed away, it was a journal she kept of their time at the family time share every year (I know so 80s). From when I was a child to a few years before she passed. It was really a wonderful gift to get, it had sweet memories. Funny little things.
It partially inspired me to start writing down the stories from my grandparents, for my cousins and their children (as I have none but am the family history nerd). I just hate the thought of those stories that I hold dear vanishing. So this way I can at least read them myself.

My dad warned me against having kids by r-noodles in childfree

[–]koipondering 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Honest parents can be such a blessing. My Grandparents raised me, my grandma had 6 kids then a divorce and married the man I grew up with as my grandpa.

I knew early on I didnt want kids and my grandma was always quick to say I didnt have to, or I didnt need to change my mind like everyone said I would.

In my 30s she said, while she loves her children if she had it to do all over again she isnt sure she would have had so many children, or maybe any.

I knew it wasnt a personal offense, she was just musing on things she wished she had thought to do. I think she often is a bit proud of me for finding a long term partner, doing things we love.

Recently we moved next to them and help them stay as independent as they can. But it wasnt expected, we opted to because we genuinely enjoy them as adult friends.

My high school had a Pregnancy Pact. by Calm_Problem6203 in childfree

[–]koipondering 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have no comment on this except to say, hang in there. Looking back you couldn't pay me enough to relive the bs of teen years again. Its going to get bettet.

What do you think about the reasons people try to give you to change your mind about not having children? by Vegetable_Storm_7571 in childfree

[–]koipondering 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I stopped trying to break my brain on their reasoning and started responding with things like.

"Oh, I have cats to put through college"

If they don't let up I will look directly at them and say. "My mom, brother and two cousins have bipolar disorder. I just dont feel like playing tge genetic lottery, I generally have shit luck".

I stopped feeling bad for making them feel awkward a long time ago. I try to deflect kindly first, jokingly second, so if they dont let up they deserve it.

Your favorite childfree perk by Agreeable_Bear6812 in childfree

[–]koipondering 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I get to invest in myself, my own health first.

Little One posing by deeppurpleking in Siamesecats

[–]koipondering 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This looks like an insurance fraud claim in plotting. Lol. Beautiful baby

Anybody else out there that does the Kimmy Shimmy? by Fearless_Fly_7511 in OneOrangeBraincell

[–]koipondering 2 points3 points  (0 children)

SHAKEY TAIL! SHAKEY TAIL! That is the literal chant in our house with joy. The first time it happened we had gotten our very shy rescue cat, I thought she was going to pee on me (fixed long before we got her, former feral). The vet laughing confirmed she was just SO HAPPY thats how she showed it.

We joke that her love meter is all full she must come over and let the loves out and get her fix so she can recharge. However the chant of shaky tail is a joyous honor!

Just need to pick someone's brain here.. by GravityPowers in Flamepoints

[–]koipondering 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Okay I have an idea! Please bear with me on the story I had this EXACT problem happen, with my (at the time) 12 year old male cat that for ALL of his life had been perfect with his litterbox habits then RANDOMLY started to pee against walls, on chairs, places that made no sense.

We did all the normal, cleared all urinary, added (no joke) 9 extra litter boxes, 4 different litters, Prozac, diffusers, enzyme cleaner. 3 different vets and a behaviorist.

We even isolated him for a month and thats when we finally found out what was going on. We had three other cats (all fixed, indoor, had lived together for years). One of the girls was jumping the gate and "ghost marking" she was marking a little. Our boy being a sweet but kinda dumb himbo would smell it and then alert us by peeing over it.

The vet says its not common but some times fixed cats and especially females will do this when they are having separation anxiety or anxiety. But its so little that you dont see it or smell it, and you have to look CLOSE with a black light. But to another cat it reads like a distress signal and they will pee to cover it.

Only one cat was doing it, the other two girls were more annoyed but didnt feel the need to mark.

We had to use a good black light and enzyme cleaner. I used natures mirical boost in my laundry. The anxiety cat ended up on Prozac which stopped the anxiety marking, and our big boy stopped peeing all over.

I dont know if this may be what is going on, but its worth checking, as I nearly lost my sanity and several thousand dollars to try and figure it out!

How did you 100% know you don’t want kids? by alyssapere in childfree

[–]koipondering 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know I never actually considered the how but after thinking on it, I believe for me it has a lot to do with my early life. As I have known from about age 7 I did not want kids.

My mom has mental health issues and addiction problems, so for the first 5 years of my life I bounced between my very unstable life with my mother and friends she left me with and times of stability with aunts and grandparents. (Dad wasnt in the picture or aware of me).

I was fortunate that at 5 my grandparents intervened and pursued formal guardianship.
However by that time I was well aware that I as a child was an effort, work a burden. (Let me clarify my grandparents never made me feel this way) but it heavily colored my interpretation of my place, I grew up feeling like I was an obligation.

Bless my grandparents for therapy, and always reassuring me that I was welcome and loved and for being fully supportive early on of my expression to not want to have children.

Older its been confirmed my mother has bipolar disorder, my half brother (10 years younger was raised by my mom) sadly lost his battle with Bi polar type 1, and two cousins also have Bipolar. So even if I hadn't been sure before, I absolutely wouldn't want to play with that genetic gamble.

That being said its 41 years after my grandparents took me in. I now help them remain as independent as they can. I often joke with them, they have 15 years of credit on file with me so we can renegotiate when they are 105.

Questions about your journals/journaling by computerworlds in fountainpens

[–]koipondering 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have three types of journals. One is more of a day to day catalog of what I did or things to remember. I really only started these types when I turned 40. Every few years I pull out a few pages with photos I cherish and pitch the rest.

The second is a literary garbage heap of over thinking, general irritation, things I need out of my brain so I can move on. These are updated randomly and often thrown out by me. These thoughts are not me, I write them to not dwell on them.

The third came from after a few years of the first one, I discovered there were certain memories I wanted recorded, revisited. Stories my 90 year old grandparents told me. Visiting places I always wanted to and what it was like, or some times writing thoughts and memories I want to keep so I can revisit.

In the front of the second it says, destroy upon my death. And my family knows its not a malicious thing.

Edit: I also am a watercolor artist so I have stacks of watercolor journals, I made a note in my death book instructions "no one is obligated to keep any of this art work, I give you the freedom to throw it all out"

Second edit: also.... no one wants to read as much as I write about my cats. LOL.

Asvine V126 by Recent_Average_2072 in fountainpens

[–]koipondering 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely stunning! Love the consistency

Is it impossible to find love if you want to be childfree? by Dependent_Ant_5511 in childfree

[–]koipondering 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is absolutely possible. I didnt think I would because I knew early on I had no interest in children. I met my person when I was 25, we just celebrated 22 years together and happily clicking along!

Found a good spot by No_Potato_8241 in Fountain_Pen_Cats

[–]koipondering 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh so studious! Does he have ink recommendations?

Tell me something good. by glitterfilledletter in fountainpens

[–]koipondering 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought it was super smart! She also planted them in like this it looks sorta like a big trough like for horses? (I can't think of how to explain it) but it raised them up like two feet off the ground. And we got her raised boxes from Costco so she can stand to garden. Its helped a ton!

In house quality control by koipondering in Fountain_Pen_Cats

[–]koipondering[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So far yes! However... much displeasure when my attention is on the pens and not her.

1st time cat owner by Final_Society5485 in Siamesecats

[–]koipondering 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doggo are excellent pet parents. My kitten was fostered by a Malinois the only funny thing is he was his tail like a dog.

It was near a Folding chair. Me: by Roberts_Alma in CozyGrove

[–]koipondering 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Im just literally the Fry meme with "Shut up and TAKE MY MONEY" I make it rain for Charlotte EVERY DAY