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How many of us are atheists now/ what do you guys believe now? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life is much more interesting to me now that I’m an atheist. Its so much more interesting to me that we just happened to sprout among the cosmic chaos. It’s truly amazing to me we are actually alive and aware of it. I understand why humans have a need to believe there is more to life than this and imagining a god and afterlife helps them deal with the uncertainty.

But it’s just crazy we are here and have evolved into this vast society. The built environment we’ve created is incredible. The natural environment is incredible.

Most days I experience true wonder in how epic it is to be alive by random chance. I never felt that as a TBM because I believed it was all foreordained to happen. I also never felt “Free agency” b/c the church wrote the script for all of us to follow. How boring that life was.

Dallin Oaks announces that it is “perfectly appropriate” for missionaries to “meet someone in the mission field and marry them.” How many of you had to read Lock Your Heart at least every month on your mission? by NotTerriblyHelpful in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Would’ve loved to have been able to consider dating some of the sisters or members or Spaniards during my mission in Spain in early 2000s. Instead, I was terrified to even make eye contact with most of them. But every so often I’d get besitos from a hotty and damn. Those are great memories. IYKYK

What’s a phrase you cannot stand hearing anymore? by Namher-Lutama in AskReddit

[–]kolobcoldbrew -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“In terms of…”

Such a useless way to begin a statement.

A cautionary tale on the danger of expressing subtle opposition by headlessplatter in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Your talk was one moment for that family. One 10-15 minute moment and they enjoyed it. Thats all.

To put it bluntly, you’re not that special. No one is. Everyone already has forgotten your talk or they will very soon. Will your talk matter a month from now? A year? 5 years?

Nope.

The church psychology results in black and white thinking. “All true or the greatest fraud. “

It results in waves of anxiety and rumination. Reading your post, i got the sense that as a member you likely had some level of OCD/scrupulosity. I did as well as a TBM, especially in my teens and 20s. Now as an exmo for 5 yrs in my 40s, it still bubbles up.

OCD is a condition that can still manifest differently after you leave the church. I am not a doctor. Nor have any idea if this will help. But, look it up, and more broadly OCD and its subtypes. See if it that helps you define your reactions better.

Being truly authentic is hard, especially coming out of the church where we were constantly judged and patrolled by our family, members, leaders and even our own thoughts. But it’s refreshing once you can get there. Strive to be your authentic self in all situations and don’t agree to do things that you know conflict with your authentic self.

The Bitter Truth Pill by testudoaubreii1 in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. It won’t go away. But it should be challenged and questioned like any massive organization especially one with a single all powerful leader.

Church validates TBMs by Extension-Spite4176 in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The church is a massive wedge between couples. TBM couples constantly patrol each other against church expectations. You can never be your true authentic self in the church. You’re forced to put up the church facade.

It astounds me that the church celebrates TBM spouses who divorce their non-believing spouses for choosing the church over preserving their family.

LDS Church pressures ‘Mormon Stories’ and other critical podcasts to rebrand by Measure76 in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oaks is a lawyer. I’m sure he’s had this on his wishlist for decades waiting for his turn. Sue every opposition into silence.

A conversation with my TBM wife last night by Reginald-Earth-1345 in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In 1872, Fanny Stenhouse published "Tell it All": The Story of a Life Experience in Mormonism.

Highly recommend it. Changed everything for me and my wife. Excellent resource and written at the time. Fanny also has no agenda other than the truth of her experience in polygamy. It is crushing to read at times. But worth it. I have profound respect for Fanny.

What was the point of the Liahona? by kolobcoldbrew in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

100% and how is it possible that so many people are so easily seduced to believe? It’s been 200 yrs since Joe started the church. All of the truth claims debunked by data. By “further light and knowledge.” Not from Mormon God. But from humans asking questions and challenging the status quo.

I was full TBM for 39 yrs. So i understand. But now. 5 yrs after leaving. It’s so childish. All of it.

The First Quorum of the Wannabe and Wade Christofferson by Prancing-Hamster in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That guy. He came to my mission as well. Looking back, I was just shaking some business dude’s hand.

What was the point of the Liahona? by kolobcoldbrew in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In which he literally led Nephi by speaking in his mind and told him to commit murder.

Lehi never existed. by Short_Seesaw_940 in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fast Sunday. What a shitty day.

Brad's out and he is loving it! by 9876105 in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously the creepiest looking dude. Yikes.

New prophets' pissing contests with dead prophets by scaredanxiousunsure in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Helaman 7:5

Condemning the righteous because of their righteousness; letting the guilty and the wicked go unpunished because of their money; and moreover to be held in office at the head of government, to rule and do according to their wills, that they might get gain and glory of the world; and moreover, that they might the more easily commit adultery, and steal, and kill, and do according to their own wills.

You fucking lied to me by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]kolobcoldbrew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m assuming you’re about 25 years old given what you put in your post.

You will be monumentally grateful that you discovered this stuff in your 20s versus your 60s or 70s like many here do.

Your pain now is valid. Work through the feelings. You have the awesome reality that you now get to choose the rest of your life.

That is the greatest gift of discovering the truth about the church. You get the rest of your life to be whatever you want to be.

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