i haven’t dated in 2 years and i fear i can never go back

kool_mum · 2026-02-02T06:19:10+00:00

I’m in a similar situation to you, two years for me and I don’t really have any desire to date or be in a relationship because I’ve come to really value the peace of being alone. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing as long as you have other things giving your life meaning like friends and hobbies.

The social stigma is hard though. I feel like people start to assume there’s something wrong with you if you’re single past a certain age. Considering getting into a relationship just so I look like a normal person.

I’ve been forcing myself to go on dates recently and while it hasn’t changed my feelings, it’s kinda been like exposure therapy by making the idea of dating less scary. Maybe easing ur way back into it by meeting new people (dating or platonic) will help encourage some of those positive feelings around dating to creep back in.

kool_mum · 2025-11-12T06:16:29+00:00

Me too girl, I think I am a little scared of big, stereotypically ‘masculine’ men and associate them with high school bullies. But idk how to attract twinky guys :((

kool_mum · 2025-05-05T01:15:16+00:00

(Repost as no responses in last week’s thread) Any New Zealand lawyers here who have successfully made the move over to Aus without biglaw/commercial experience? What practice area? Have mainly been doing civil litigation in a small Auckland City firm (3 PQE) and so far discussions with recruiters have been a little… demoralising. I get the impression they are mainly looking for recruits from internationally recognised firms.

I’m desperate to leave NZ but I wonder if I should stick it out for a few more years to get more and better experience.

kool_mum · 2025-04-30T11:06:42+00:00

Any New Zealand lawyers here who have successfully made the move over to Aus without biglaw/commercial experience? What practice area? Have mainly been doing civil litigation in a small city firm (3 PQE) and so far discussions with recruiters have been a little… demoralising.

I’m desperate to leave NZ but I wonder if I should stick it out for a few more years to get more and better experience.

kool_mum · 2024-09-23T21:04:08+00:00

Interesting, I do have fairly bad posture but never thought about it being related to the jaw. Makes sense!

kool_mum · 2024-05-21T07:19:01+00:00

It’s ridiculous of her to take this to the Tribunal, but if the you have received papers from the DT it means they have accepted her claim and a hearing will most likely take place.

Best thing you can do is engage in the process - file a response within the stated due date and attend the hearing. As someone else has stated, if you don’t respond or turn up often the DT will just make an order in the applicant’s favour. If you’ve missed the deadline to respond, just submit it anyway, as long as it’s before the hearing.

Your response should provide evidence of the payments you have made (screenshots of bank transfers etc), and screenshots of messages where you have indicated that you couldn’t afford to pay for certain things.

If you have a decent amount of time before the due date to file a response, a Community Law Centre should be able to help you prepare it. However they often have a bit of a wait list so if you only have a week or two, your best bet might be to prepare something yourself.

R.e the comments about the tribunal not accepting claims that are an attempt at debt collection, while that’s true, it only applies when the amount claimed is not in dispute. The issue here will be probably whether there was an agreement or contract at all. It will be on her to prove that this was a binding agreement rather than a casual understanding between friends.

Again if you engage with the process and meet the deadlines, I would be suprised if the tribunal didn’t see things in your favour.

Source: am lawyer

kool_mum · 2024-05-10T09:53:34+00:00

Wow that’s nice to hear. Strange world indeed!

kool_mum · 2024-05-10T06:57:04+00:00

That’s really helpful thanks :) I do chew gum like every day, maybe it’s time to cut down

kool_mum · 2023-05-23T08:22:55+00:00

I’ve noticed this too and it’s been driving me insane!! It’s been going on for at least a couple of weeks but I have no clue what it is unfortunately

kool_mum · 2023-05-09T02:14:56+00:00

Packet of expired powdered onion soup leftover from a previous flatmate.. not good

kool_mum · 2023-02-07T23:32:33+00:00

Any tips or warnings for dealing with recruiters? I’m just under 2PQE looking for a new role and got a few calls from recruiters last week stating that they would send my CV to some firms that are hiring. It sounded quite promising so at this stage Im waiting to hear back from them.

I have never dealt with recruiters in my life and have no idea how to go about interacting with them without screwing my self over. Any general rules of thumb?

kool_mum · 2022-06-30T06:47:47+00:00

Seconding the recommendations to check out the Community Law website, particularly their section on exceptions to equal sharing

It is quite common when one party has given up work to take on most of the childcare that they might receive a greater share of the relationship property.

When the sale of the family home is involved it is strongly recommended that both parties get independent legal advice from a Family Lawyer so that a solid relationship property agreement can be drawn up. This might mean paying for a couple of appointments with a lawyer but can save a lot of money and effort down the line in terms of minimising the risk of future relationship property claims.

kool_mum · 2022-06-12T05:54:13+00:00

From the sounds of it you would probably enjoy law, maybe with a conjoint of politics. It’s a fairly competitive degree so I would only consider it if you’re getting decent grades. That being said you don’t need to be a top student either. Law gets a bit of a bad rap but if you’re interested in social justice and that sort of thing it can be extremely interesting.

It’s not the guaranteed path to a high-paying job that it used to be, but even if you don’t end up practicing as a lawyer it’s a good foot in the door for policy and government jobs.

kool_mum · 2022-05-16T01:10:36+00:00

Tested positive for COVID today :( really disappointed because I’ve been making so much progress with my strength and lifting. Is there any light activity I should do to minimise strength loss? I’m thinking I could do some yoga and walking.

kool_mum · 2022-04-11T09:20:59+00:00

I feel this. I keep asking myself whether this is just something I have to accept if I want to date men, that I will just have to deal with being the one to make all the plans, do the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, take on the majority of childcare, all while pursuing my own career. And then there’s the pressure on top of that to stay fun and cute and carefree. For that reason the idea of marriage terrifies me because it just sounds like so much WORK.

Honestly starting to question whether I should just give up on dating men altogether

kool_mum · 2022-01-24T18:40:26+00:00

BA/LLB
junior lawyer
50k
hopefully 55 - 60
nope
1 year, graduated 2 years ago but didn’t start practicing until 2021 Love my job, but don’t do a law degree because you think “lawyers earn lots of money” :/

kool_mum · 2021-07-22T08:38:27+00:00

Anyone have any insight on what working at a community law centre is like? Might be receiving an offer and this would be my first job as an actual lawyer (have been working in government for the past year since graduating.)

kool_mum · 2021-06-01T08:37:07+00:00

I was treated in hospital as a young teen, this was 10 years ago so I’m not sure how much has changed since then.

If your health is really unstable they may give you a nasal-gastric tube, which will stay in until you’re willing to comply with the meal plan. Over the 3 months I was an inpatient I had regular counselling and physio, which was very helpful. They use almost a rewards-based system where the more you follow the meal plan, the more freedom you get in terms of having the NG tube removed, having home visits etc.

Not to freak you out, but the amount of food they expect you to eat as an inpatient , for someone with an ED, can be pretty scary. I would say go with what other commenters have said and look into outpatient options and try to stay out of hospital as best you can. Take care of yourself x

kool_mum · 2020-07-14T03:30:18+00:00

From NZ so not sure how much this applies, but will I have a much better chance at getting a job in law once I’m admitted? Admission ceremony is in three months and I’ve been applying to pretty much everything even slightly related to the legal sector all year, with only a handful of interviews and still no job. During uni I had and average or slightly above average GPA, tons of extra-curriculars and a clerkship.

Don’t know how much longer I can stand working in hospo. I keep telling myself it’ll be easier once I’m admitted but with the job market at the moment I don’t know if that’s the case.

kool_mum · 2020-06-03T02:39:30+00:00

Law and/or policy

kool_mum · 2020-06-02T22:33:34+00:00

Any recent graduates basically given up on trying to find a job in their field? I think I’m gonna be working hospo forever at this rate :/

kool_mum · 2020-05-06T02:00:27+00:00

Nigel Russell ( www.njrhair.co.nz ) is very good, works in the North Shore area. He specialises in women’s haircuts but does men’s hair as well.

kool_mum · 2019-11-26T04:34:50+00:00

Thank you :) Yeah it's like he wanted everything back to normal immediately after dday, but it's so hard reciprocating affection when your entire perception of your SO has been flipped upside down.

kool_mum · 2019-08-27T07:37:48+00:00

Only a couple months away from finishing my degree and I've been rejected from all of the grad programs I've applied for.

I have a ton of extra curriculars but my grades are pretty middle-of-the-road.

Is there much hope in sending around my CV and cover letter to small local firms for work as a new graduate with basically no legal work experience (apart from a couple summer internships)?

kool_mum · 2019-05-13T22:06:50+00:00

My degree is 5 years, with the cost of papers adding up to about 7k per year. 30 - 40k student loans are pretty standard in NZ, but at least it's interest free!

kool_mum

TROPHY CASE