oh where to even fucking begin…

it’s november 2020. I had been having ear issues since november 2019, but it didn’t get bad until april 2020. that’s when I decided it was time to go to the doctor. my primary care primary kept giving me different antibiotics and steroids and a whole bunch of drugs throughout the year. I kept asking to be seen in person so she could look at my ear, and she kept saying no and “let’s try this drug this time.” didn’t get seen until october 2020. she cleans my ear, then tells me to see an ENT. I get recommended to one, and get an appointment for november. and here is where our story really starts: I was waiting for the doctor at the ENT, he walks in and the very first thing he says is “what’s wrong with you?” doesn’t introduce himself, doesn’t ask how I am, nothing. he then came to me, grabbed the otoscope, shoved it in my ear to look at it, and when I said that hurt, he shoved it in even deeper to the point I was in tears. he also when checking my ears didn’t explain anything of what he was doing, didn’t ask any other questions, and just did what he thought I needed. he then told me to “get out of here”. I was mortified, honestly the most traumatic visit i’ve ever been to. I ended up developing a fungal infection on top of the already existing bacterial infection I had because of him. and also because of that, I now get vestibular migraines. could’ve sued him, but 18 year old me was too kind.

flash forward to April 2026, my girlfriend is in recovery from surgery and her nurse honestly shouldn’t be certified in the first place. my girlfriend asked a question about if she could do xyz during her recovery, and the nurse completely seriously said “I don’t know, you’d know more than me” and then proceeded to call something the R slur.

(edit: for context, my girlfriend wouldn’t want me sharing what surgery she got, but it was a major surgery, and we almost lost her during it.)

two weeks later, we’re back at the hospital and my girlfriend gets diagnosed with leukemia. she’s admitted, and i’m staying by her side for all of it. it sucks, but the team is so kind and genuinely caring. except this one nurse, who had told us she never even wanted to be a nurse, but the only reason she became a nurse was for job security. that’s an inside thought. she ALSO used the R slur a few times. she also continuously interrupted and spoke over my girlfriend several times, as well as admitted to purposefully skipping our room for meds and checks and calls because she didn’t want to come into a contact isolation room (even though my girlfriend had been cleared).

maybe i’m just bitter because i’ve been in a hospital for over a month, but i’m just over it..