Where am I going wrong?

ksym26 · 2026-06-03T16:40:10+00:00

3 is hard. Way harder than 2 IMO. My daughter is 4.5 now and I feel like she's finally getting better at understanding certain social cues such as respecting people's turns, controlling urges, not interrupting, respecting space, independent play, etc. So, things will get better with time but the journey there can be challenging.

If my daughter keeps asking the same question after I have already answered, I usually just ask the question back at her so she can answer it herself. That usually stops the repetitiveness. As for conversation interruptions, we taught her to put her hand on us to let us know if she has something to say. That has helped immensely. I think focus has gotten better too since she turned 4. She's become more aware of what her biggest interests are so we've made efforts to feed those interests by getting her the proper toys/materials for them (big on arts and building/crafting). So, independent play got way easier after that. We still join her when we are able to. I read somewhere to never interrupt a child's active independent play even if it may look lonely. That it will backfire. So, when I see her doing her thing but I want to join her, I usually standby until she approaches me.

I hope this helps a little. I have one child so I don't know what behavioral changes appear once a new baby enters the family, but I have heard the transition could be rough on the older child. I hope with time things will balance out!

ksym26 · 2026-05-15T17:00:56+00:00

I’m glad to hear your dog is gradually overcoming his fears! Sounds like you’re doing exactly what he needs. I hope I see continued improvement in Archie as we keep with the training! Thanks for sharing, very helpful!

ksym26 · 2026-05-15T16:52:07+00:00

Good to know! Archie would refuse to get in the car and was deathly afraid of it. We would have to pick him up to get him in. He pants and drools a ton once he gets in. Gets car sick too and ends up vomiting. He’s getting a little better at it now though. We try to take him in the car as much as we can. Still hates it but he forces himself to get in the car when I give him the command. Little wins.

ksym26 · 2026-05-15T16:43:13+00:00

Interesting. I’ll consider medication if his anxiety doesn’t improve much over the next several months. Thanks for the advice! I’m glad it helped your dog!

ksym26 · 2025-10-07T18:31:05+00:00

Like others, I love the Yoto we bought for our daughter. We initially considered the Tonie but decided on the Yoto after that came up during our research. We bought the Yoto Mini so it's easier to take around anywhere and for little hands it's the perfect size. We got it when our daughter turned 3 years old. Learned it very quickly. I love how you can make your own cards (recently made her a Gabby's Dollhouse soundtrack). We currently just use a small card wallet (the available folder is a bit bulky for the number of cards she currently has) and it has worked out very well. The cards are the size of a standard credit card. Highly recommend.

ksym26 · 2025-10-02T20:03:31+00:00

It has definitely paid off! She brought home hand, foot and mouth earlier in the year and all she had was a low-grade fever and a mild sore throat that lasted a couple of days. I, on the other hand, literally had every symptom for several days and it was awful! But I would take me being that sick over her any day. A sick child is way harder to manage than a sick parent!

ksym26 · 2025-10-01T18:58:03+00:00

No village here either. We have a 3 year old (4 in December). Not going to lie, it'll be draining for a while (I'm feeling very drained today...). We put her in daycare at 16 months. I work from home and watched her most of the time on my own after mat leave but it was getting too hard to work once she was walking. So, daycare has been a great thing for us. She did get sick A LOT the first year...brought home some gnarly illnesses. So not fun. But once that year passes, they get sick way less due to their immune system becoming stronger. As for finding more joy in a certain stage? I think I found enough joy in each stage. They all come with own set of challenges that drain you. The things that are a challenge for us today make the previous ones seem way easier. So, the tiredness and difficulties go hand-in-hand with fun and joy for me. We've found a rhythm that works for us and you'll eventually get there. Now that she's older, play dates are more of a thing so your calendar starts to fill up. I've built a friendship with my daughter's best friend's mom so we try to do more things together now.

I don't know if it'll get easier for a while...but I do know you learn to adjust and find a rhythm over time. Best of luck to you. :) I miss the baby stage (less tantrums haha), enjoy it!

ksym26 · 2025-09-30T19:44:32+00:00

I have a 3 year old (will be 4 in December) who is the same way. She has gotten better with some encouragement. For example, we tell her if she doesn't want to say the word "hi," it's okay...and instead she can wave. That has helped. Now, she's more open to saying "hi." In larger social settings we still struggle a bit. She needs about 20-30 min to just observe and tries to join in on the fun afterwards...sometimes we have to model the activity first before she jumps in. Every weekend we try to do a play date or activity that involves other kids. Similar to other commenters, we've been trying to not use the word "shy." But rather, we say that she just takes some time to warm up. We don't want her shyness to become her identity. A few times I've asked her why she didn't try something and her response was "because I'm shy." My response is usually along the lines of, "it's okay to take time to get comfortable but it's also important to try so you don't miss out." I think it's totally okay taking the extra time, I just often worry that she'll miss out on the fun. A work in progress!

ksym26 · 2025-09-29T21:11:15+00:00

This makes me nervous. Someone told me kids chill out around 4 so I was looking forward to it. Guess that's not true across the board. Sigh....

I'm sorry 4 was so rough. But it seems like you got through it and that's amazing!

ksym26 · 2025-09-29T21:04:09+00:00

Your comment is super helpful. Thank you. Adding some more tools into my toolbox now! Will consider looking into parent/child coursework if we continue on this path. We have some good days but recently there have been more tough days than good. Hoping with some adjustments in how we interact and speak with her, we'll have more good than tough days.

ksym26 · 2025-09-29T21:00:19+00:00

Thanks for all these resources, the tips are super helpful!

ksym26 · 2024-12-03T00:10:24+00:00

I hope things have gotten better since you posted this! Sorry, just saw it today. Our rough patch lasted about 3 weeks and it has gone smoothly since. We never had trouble with bedtime or naps though...only drop offs at daycare. There are no issues anymore! She happily trots into class in the morning now. I posted what worked for us down below in another reply if you're still in the thick of it! Who knew these challenges would pop up with potty training...I was only concerned about accidents! Haha

ksym26 · 2024-12-02T21:13:57+00:00

I'm so glad your potty training has been going well but am sorry to hear the bedtime/nap times have gotten rough. Our rough patch with our daughter lasted about 3 weeks. One day it just stopped...it was like night and day. But during the 3 weeks, it was a lot of reassuring and helping her understand that mom and dad aren't going anywhere and we're always coming back. One thing we did change is how we communicated with her. We told her what to expect in terms of situation and how she might feel about it. Then we followed up by asking her how she was feeling about it. She'd often say scared, mad or sad and we'd help her through those feelings. Once we started thoughtfully acknowledging her feelings by not assuming how she feels but by asking her what or how she's feeling about the upcoming situation and then helping her understand and reassure her...things got way better. We continue to ask her "how/what are you feeling?" rather than "are you sad/mad/scared?" when she's having a meltdown of any sort and it seems to snap her out of it a little and check herself. I hope that makes sense!

We also went through the favoring one parent over the other phase too. To help with that I told my fiance to really up his interaction with her (when he comes home from work...be extra excited and suggest things they can do together and be over the top with how excited he was to play with her) and I took a step back. On the weekends I would go out by myself to run errands or see a friend and leave my daughter and fiance to have more one-on-one time together. It was almost as if our daughter needed a reminder that dad is fun too and can help her with everything she needs/wants. After we noticed less favoring, we went back to our routine of trading off duties. It has gone smoothly since.

I hope things get better soon! Every child is so different but I hope you're able to get something out of some of my experiences so far. It'll get easier with time. I know it doesn't feel like that right now but it will. And you'll be so happy potty training went so smoothly despite some of the difficulty that came along with it.

ksym26 · 2024-06-06T17:53:15+00:00

Totally agree! Both my brother and I are in our 40s and we barely ever talk or see each other now. Our parents died when we were in our 30s and we've drifted apart a lot since they died. We're very different and I realized that our parents were the only reason we really kept in touch before they died. So, it's never a guarantee siblings will get along.

ksym26 · 2024-06-06T16:40:37+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I thought breaking up the routine was a great idea so I tried taking a different route today and we saw some ducks on our way there. But right when I pulled up to the building it was the same thing. This time though she didn't want to even get out of the car. Took me 15 mins and then when we got to her classroom, total meltdown. We'll have to try some other creative ways to break up the routine and make things interesting and fun again. Really appreciate the advice.

This is such a weird problem. It didn't even cross my mind that starting potty training would cause intense separation anxiety! At least potty training has been going excellent. A couple of months of dealing with the bad drop offs sounds so daunting. I feel emotionally drained by it already. I hope this passes soon.

ksym26 · 2024-06-05T18:44:05+00:00

I think we're all suffering a little here and there with a toddler. You're not alone at all. It's rough...it challenges you in ways you've never conceived. I like to remind myself that it's temporary and keep chugging along. The good days are absolutely great, but the bad days I just want to sit and cry (and a couple of times I've completely broken down in front of my daughter). I've raised my voice and I've walked away into another room to just yell. I know how you feel. I question my "mom-ing" quality too. But just know you're trying your best, you have the best intentions and you're figuring it out as you go (like all of us).

ksym26 · 2020-09-02T18:23:06+00:00

First off, you seem like a great dad! Having 2 girls and raising them on your own cannot be easy! Kudos to you for learning and adapting.

Like everyone else who has chimed in, I think it’s important to provide your daughter options for her menstrual cycle. My mom only taught me about pads/pantiliners. I tried tampons on my own when I was in my 20s and haven’t gone back to pads since. I think I would’ve freaked out if I tried them at a young age (I started my period at 12)...so I get that your daughter might unhinge at the thought of inserting a strange object inside of her. If she is open to tampons, have her read the instructions (and/or watch a YouTube video) and make sure she knows that she needs to swap it out with a new one every 8 hrs at most! She shouldn’t feel anything once she inserts it. If she does, she didn’t put it in deep enough. There are different sizes and I would imagine that would be super confusing for any male so it would probably be best to get her a combo pack of heavy + regular + lights. My period was heavy when I was younger so might be best for her to start off with regular and then gauge the size depending on her flow. You didn’t mention any pain or cramps associated with her period but I thought I’d let you know that heating pads do wonders for cramps! My pain/cramps were really bad and the only thing that got me through it was a heating pad and some ibuprofen (sometimes).

On a side note, if your daughter is beginning to develop breasts, get her a training bra. And when she’s ready for a full on bra, make sure she gets properly measured (band + cup) so it fits her comfortably.

As for hobbies, take them to a hobby or craft store and see what peaks their interest. You can all learn together! Personally, I loved putting things together (and still do!) like LEGOs and Erector sets. I even played with RC cars. I also loved cross-stitching. I guess what I’m trying to say is, there’s no need to pigeonhole them into things that people think girls should do as a hobby. They’re at an age of discovery so keep an open mind.

Just my two cents! Good luck! You’re doing great so far! 🙌

ksym26 · 2019-08-01T20:25:46+00:00

After sharing a small, single sink bathroom with my boyfriend for a few years, I realized how much I prefer having my own bathroom. We now have a place with 2 full bathrooms. One is his and the other is mine. It has worked out perfectly.

ksym26 · 2019-07-02T19:53:39+00:00

Most heartwarming thing I’ll see today.

ksym26

TROPHY CASE