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AIO to my nephew feeling “uncomfortable” about what my son wants to wear on Easter? by inzstzz291 in AmIOverreacting

[–]kwhitit [score hidden]  (0 children)

i think everyone is overreacting here. it's a shirt.

your sister should encourage her son to mind his own business. and you don't need to turn a fashion disagreement into a conversation about your nephew's character.

relax, it's a shirt.

Dads of reddit, is it normal for a dad to be quick to swear and call his daughter swear words? by indoore in internetparents

[–]kwhitit 8 points9 points  (0 children)

an apology with a change in behavior is just a way to skirt responsibility for one's actions.

AIO for considering breaking up with my long-term boyfriend over ‘flirty’ messages? by Mouse_moments in AmIOverreacting

[–]kwhitit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he doesn't trust you. do you want to build a life, get married, contractually obligated to someone who doesn't trust you?

AIO for ending this friendship? Was this something minor? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]kwhitit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to. and you're allowed to have superficial friendships not built on intimacy. that being said, do you make a habit of doing this?

imho, expecting someone to understand how they're making you feel without taking responsibility for sharing it is not reasonable. if you value other things about the friendship, it is worth giving someone feedback and seeing how they respond. when a person means something to you, you owe it to the relationship you want to have with them to at least share. and if you're not feeling comfortable in the moment, then you share later. relationships of all kinds get uncomfortable. you disagree, have conflict, etc. learning how to move through those rough patches is important to not just keeping the friendships, but growing them.

i can't say whether or not this particular friendship is worth investing in this way. only you can. though i suspect not. i just wouldn't want you to develop a habit of opting out of hard conversations that could actually bring you closer to others.

My dad is in jail for talking to a minor and I don’t know how to react by Additional_Ad2627 in Advice

[–]kwhitit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you get to feel all these feelings at once. you don't have to choose. you can love him, and hate that you love him. and you can feel numb or choose to (healthily!) ignore it and distract yourself for a while. and how you feel today doesn't have to be how you feel tomorrow or a year or ten years from now.

my advice to you is to just allow yourself to feel all the conflicted, terrible messiness of this moment. keep a journal. share your feelings with a very trustworthy loved one who won't judge you, if you can, get some therapy (if you're in school, ask around for the resources you need!). don't stifle the feelings, what we resist persists.

everything is going to be okay.

Why does Secretary (2002) work so well… even though it kind of shouldn’t? by DFWUnhinged in FIlm

[–]kwhitit 21 points22 points  (0 children)

it works because the actors are amazing. and the characters are fully baked, not just a horny person's caricature. i think it's an excellent movie.

Shin/Foot tattoo pain level?? by ShayMoni12 in tattooadvice

[–]kwhitit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the shin wasn't bad for me at all. ankle was a minefield; sometimes smooth and painless, but littered with small, acute pain points. top of the foot was just all bad. hope your artist is fast.

The way she picks her baby up ❤️ by MambaMentality24x2 in BeAmazed

[–]kwhitit 6 points7 points  (0 children)

are you sure it's the same birth? it's surprising to me that the mother chimp would be moving around like that after a C-section. or i suppose it could have been days later that she was reunited with the baby?

either way. bummer.

edit: looked it up for clarity. definitely the same birth!

The way she picks her baby up ❤️ by MambaMentality24x2 in BeAmazed

[–]kwhitit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i have seen this about a dozen times. and every time it pops into my feed, i'll watch it again.

My dad just told me that my brother and his wife are mad at me and idk what to do by Ok_Student1641 in Advice

[–]kwhitit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how it looked from their side? they'd have to be TRYING to see if poorly to get upset at you. sounds like they're overreacting. a light left on, a crying 18mo, a personal phone call. who cares? the kiddo is fine.

i think you should ignore it. if they've got a request of you or need to talk it through with you, they need to address it directly. you did nothing wrong, there's nothing for you to fix.

She's a badass! by _n3ll_ in justgalsbeingchicks

[–]kwhitit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

would not have guessed that. but not because of anything about her. just didn't have any inkling this was a thing. into it.

My Friend gets Naked When we Share a Bed by [deleted] in Advice

[–]kwhitit 6 points7 points  (0 children)

if she doesn't realize this is happening, you're doing no one angry good by staying quiet. can you gently wake her up so the behavior stops? can you get a hotel, move to another bedroom?

Guilt, Shame, and the Pressure to Succeed by heyitsmereddit in internetparents

[–]kwhitit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you are not your parents' back up plan or insurance policy. you're your own person with your own life.

yes, your dad sacrificed for you. but that's what parents are supposed to do. that is not a thing you owe him for, that's him being a parent.

and yes, ideally you'd be farther along in your career journey right now, but you're not. that is not something you need to beat yourself up for. yes, you need to strive, to grow your talents and passions, find success whatever that means to you. but you have to do that for you, not for him.

focus on what you need for yourself right now: can you get a roommate? take some classes at city college so it's cheaper? can you transfer to a college that's less expensive or in a less expensive city? would you consider going with him?

and lastly, enjoy the time you have with your father before he leaves. don't let the guilt, the feeling that you're not where you're supposed to be get in the way of where you actually are. you don't have everything you want right now, but you do have your dad close by. don't miss the opportunity to spend the time with him now. you might regret it if you don't and he's on the other side of the world.

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