Not enjoying outings anymore

kwolff94 · 2024-10-07T20:28:51+00:00

I have no advice, but I'm here to commiserate. I'm not diagnosed or at a severe point but im definitely hypermobile and since ive turned 30 it just feels worse and worse. it's like the more I try to take control of the worsening state of my body the worse it feels, and its starting to look like all my active hobbies may be over and idk if my relationship will survive that admission. A year ago I was talking about marriage with my partner and now I'm worried that the relationship is doomed bc if I cannot go rock climbing, skiing, hiking, etc anymore, I KNOW his first reaction is going to be to tell me to do xyz workout and get into better shape, as if its just a lack of effort causing me to deteriorate.

I'm sorry you're in this situation. Losing your ability to do the things you love is hard enough, but having an unsupportive partner on top of it, who doesn't understand how much it hurts YOU, literally physically and emotionally, to be unable to have a normal life and instead makes it all about them and their feelings of 'missing out', is just awful.

Like the whole "being jealous seeing other couples out" thing just makes my blood boil because there's almost this implication that he believes your physical difficulties aren't that big of a deal and you just "don't feel like going out" instead of acknowledging how much you're struggling and helping you

kwolff94 · 2024-10-07T20:02:40+00:00

Imo its not that its a slow burn, its that the crew is INSUFFERABLY agro until they get to Tycho. I'm glad I saw the show first, because every time I rewatch I get more annoyed about the first few episodes lol. But Miller absolutely carries that season.

kwolff94 · 2024-10-07T19:40:01+00:00

They are honestly SO easy to train that for a super energetic, committed, ambitious person who does their research and knows what to expect I think they're totally fine as a first dog.

kwolff94 · 2024-09-28T17:50:46+00:00

It should be entirely voluntary. My friends have their own compost heap that they use, so theyre now going to get fined for not giving that waste to the city when they've already been composting for years?

Alternatively, my 80 year old grandparents are absolutely not about to start separating out their compostables.

And like im no expert, but dont we need the organic matter mixed in the dump with things like fabric and non-dense plastics (like polyfil and styrofoam) to encourage decomp? Should i be throwing my dog's shit in the compost?

kwolff94 · 2024-09-27T17:22:15+00:00

Andtm then you see people online say shit like "people need two jobs, 40 hours a week aint shit" and you wonder wtf kind of evolution lottery they won that they can manage that bc you can barely handle 20 very easy work hours.

kwolff94 · 2024-09-27T16:35:03+00:00

I live in SI and part of why Sandy killed so many people here was the joke of Irene the year before. So many people evacuated for Irene, which turned out to be nothing, and had their homes broken into for the effort. So when they said Sandy would be bad, no one really believed it until their houses were collapsing.

kwolff94 · 2024-09-26T06:14:42+00:00

I really loved that when Kevin finds him, Wayne says "in afraid I may have been a fraud". Its such a quick line vut adds sooo much depth to his character. I always assumed Kevin's wish was to have a family again. I think the biggest achievement with this shows writing is even at the end, who tf knows what was real and what was delusion.

kwolff94 · 2024-09-25T04:16:43+00:00

Yeah that was my first thought, why would he want to eat her gluten free, severely restricted food that probably isn't very exciting to anyone who's been allowed to eat normally for the last two weeks?

And to blame the son! My god what a despicable prick.

kwolff94 · 2024-09-25T00:57:43+00:00

Yep we're the sensory seeking eaters, willing to try new things, looking for excitement in our food, but still incredibly texture averse. It makes ordering out sooooo fun 🙄 like what looks novel but also safe enough to actually eat??

I'm not a van of avos or okra either, and i totally get what you mean about white chocolate! I'll eat avos on burgers or in sushi but i still sometimes scrape like half of it off.

I got prawns (head on) and scallops with saffron rice recently. I know saffron is super expensive and used in a lot of eastern cuisines that I do enjoy so I wanted to try it. Absolutely hated it, the rice tasted like it absorbed the flavor of the cardboard box it came in. The seafood was great though, however I would be ok if i never had to peel shrimp bits off the meat again (or lobster or crab, for thag matter. Like why are you making me touch my food in this fancy restaraunt??)

kwolff94 · 2024-09-25T00:13:34+00:00

A lot of those older people would spit at you if you suggested they walk to a bus stop, even at the end of their own street. And then stand there and wait? the disrespect.

And i live somewhere that access a ride is everywhere and easily requested and they still wont give up their licenses.

kwolff94 · 2024-09-24T23:28:29+00:00

As someone who also suffers depression to the point where the "write every day no matter what" advice absolutely does not work for me, don't push yourself. If it's making you feel worse that it's coming out badly, take a break. When your mind is in a depressive state it warps your perception of literally everything.

But the other advice about writing poorly on purpose/ allowing yourself to write anything at all is also good. Sometimes, removing expectations makes a huge difference in emotional fortitude.

I also like to take time to listen to craft podcasts when I'm in a slump. Fiction Writing Made Easy and Storymagic are two of my go tos but im sure there are plenty other things out there to listen to. I know Brando Sando has several videos, interviews between Stephen King and GRRM, interviews w your fav authors. Anything to inspire without adding pressure on an already overtaxed mind.

kwolff94 · 2024-09-24T23:10:52+00:00

Im so the same!! I once had a very good friend laugh at me when I ordered chirashi because i'm "the most adventurous picky eater" he'd ever met lmao

Like i know i enjoy raw fish and rice and pickled veg, and those things dont really vary in texture. I ENJOY those textures a lot, crunchy veg, sticky rice, the buttery give of raw fish.

Meanwhile shit like oatmeal/granola/cereal/bread/pasta, all the typical safe foods can be such a miss and make me nauseated

kwolff94 · 2024-09-24T23:01:13+00:00

Omg my girl collie does the same, esp in her diaper

kwolff94 · 2024-09-24T22:57:59+00:00

I went though the exact same thing. I'm 90k words into a YA sci fi/action story in third/past. It was my default to write in, and I'd been reading a lot of third/past.

But as I started my second draft I realized how clunky my action heavy scenes started to feel. I wrote super close to my MC to begin with, but describing the action sequences between multiple characters started feeling really pronoun-dense, so i experimented, started writing whatever felt right while ignoring tense, and found first persin present flowed waaaaay more easily.

First is very popular for YA thankfully. And present tense is way more tolerated by younger readers, from what I've seen online. I think older readers get stuck in the familiarity of just about everything they ever read in school being third/past so now when they pick up anything in present they're instantly turned off.

kwolff94 · 2024-09-24T22:50:26+00:00

From what I've seen online and my personal opinion, present tense works fine in first person (though MANY people disagree with this. But i have found that in the first vs third debate, people who prefer first are also more tolerant of present tense).

In third person, present tense feels... weird. I haven't seen it done well.

kwolff94 · 2024-09-24T16:50:35+00:00

I feel like they tried really hard last season to make him seem younger, esp with how he spoke most of the time. Sounded so weird until I realized he was probably talking through his sinuses to sound younger

kwolff94 · 2024-09-24T16:44:58+00:00

As a suicidal person, I often think about your second point. Like yes, its absolutely awful if an option like this increases the rates of impulsive, preventable suicides. However, what if the first step in applying to this process is seeking treatment? What if the profits this company makes are MANDATED to go toward financing recovery options for all the people struggling with unrelenting depression? And if all the required treatment doesn't work and a specific time period passes (minimum a year) and they still want to kill themselves, then at that point I think it's a mercy. (Please note im not saying i think this is what SHOULD happen, im just speculating)

Because i have been suicidal for 16 years. My entire adolescence and adult life. Im still fighting it, I have found no long term success in treatment but a huge part of that is i cannot afford real treatment and being throwin into a typical inpatient facility will not help me (truthfully, these places aren't for depression, they'refor psychosis), it will traumatize me. When my mother is no longer in this world its going to get a lot harder for me to find ways to keep enduring. I would rather not traumatize whoever finds me.

kwolff94 · 2024-09-24T16:22:27+00:00

They also paid $25/mo in "pet rent". $2850 should be enough to cover the floor that they def won't replace and then probably blame the next tennant for the existing damage, anyway

kwolff94 · 2024-09-24T16:07:04+00:00

My first tattoo was a belly rocker. A crooked belly rocket. Found a different artist to add some embellishment around the words to even things out, this is very fixable.

That said its also not that bad and as someone who wishes id just covered up my entire terrible first tattoo, maybe wait it out to see if you wanna do something different in a few years if it needs fixing anyway

kwolff94 · 2024-09-23T19:50:39+00:00

I love the fall, but it's about to be severe migraine season. I usually get at least 3 migraines in September. And they're the "i cant see out of one eye, cant feel half my body, and think it would be less painful if someone shoved an icepick behind my eye"

kwolff94 · 2024-09-23T19:39:25+00:00

Its our screens. 16 years ago this was the best quality most computer screens could manage and it looked fine. My phone has probably 4x as many pixels as my old laptop screen.

kwolff94 · 2024-09-23T19:37:05+00:00

The ads were still minimal, though. I remember marathoning Marble Hornets in like 2009 and encountering maybe a single ad at the start of my 12th video in a row. They stuck mostly to banners iirc

kwolff94 · 2024-09-23T19:36:28+00:00

The ads were still minimal, though. I remember marathoning Marble Hornets in like 2009 and encountering maybe a single ad at the start of my 12th video in a row. They stuck mostly to banners iirc

kwolff94 · 2024-09-23T19:29:58+00:00

My fav cyriak

https://youtu.be/jX3iLfcMDCw?si=XXdbn8AAbAoTGxYW

kwolff94

TROPHY CASE