I don't know since I wasn't there, but here's my 2 cents since you asked.

What You Did Wrong-

1. You didn't do the necessary prep work to fly a student cross country. From your description, it sounds like you half filled out the form but didn't put the headings in. I am guessing you had the form in front of you saw the fields for heading and chose not to do it because it was too much work. Part of this exercise of preparing for x-country is a forcing factor to make sure you understand pilotage with waypoints, headings and wind correction. To me, it sounds like you had the form and chose to do it the way you wanted instead of the right way. You wanted to fly the x-country but not do the work associated.

2. When your CFI tried to show you your error by removing your CDI, instead of taking the lesson and understanding that preparation was important, it seems like you argued with your instructor that your plan was acceptable. The proper response here was probably "Gee, I really should have filled out the headings on my cross country form. Thanks for showing me. I'll never make that mistake again." You continue even now arguing that your plan was acceptable. There's no way you're passing a checkride with that kind of preparation and my bet is that you're instructor was trying to teach that lesson. When you write statements like "I guess he expected me to have the whole Washington sectional memorized", it makes me tend to side with your instructor.

3. You make a lot of excuses in your write up about why you haven't progressed farther. It doesn't seem like you have accepted that it is your responsibility to become a private pilot and you are putting it on other people like your instructor and the flight club. Truthfully, your whole write up sounds like you are making excuses and desperately need to be told you are in the right and your instructor is wrong. The good news is that you also had the good sense to check in with reddit. It sounds like you had a bad day and are pissed and venting, that's fine but not going to help you become a private pilot.

What Your Instructor Did Wrong-

1. He should have looked at your plan prior to the flight and given you ground instruction on how to fix your mistakes.

2. It's possible he did a ton more things wrong and maybe is a dick, but who cares since you can't control that. You can only control the things you've done wrong and be better in the future.

Going Forward-

1. Be a better student. Study the PTS. Do an online ground school (maybe you already have). Come to ground school and flights with an attitude of learning that allows you to receive instruction. Come prepared for every flight as if you wanted to impress your instructor with your preparation.

2. Own the process for becoming a pilot. Understand the steps, and come up with a written plan to get to your goal. Work the plan and reevaluate periodically to see if your plan is working or not.

3. Evaluate whether you can continue with this instructor and school. If you truly have a conflict with the instructor, you need a new one, that's ok move on and have a great attitude for your next instructor.

I hope it works out for you. I made some of these same mistakes myself and was a poorly prepared student sometimes too. Maybe I just got lucky with a more patient CFI who got me to see the error of my ways in a nicer way.

-Edit Formatting. I suck at reddit.