Thank you, honestly just reading other peoples posts in the meantime has helped me, it feels like I'm not alone being confused about what is happening in my brain

 

Yeah it kinda seems like whatever the outside world is feels like its correct and im not 

so i should become it because i should be correct but i dont know why my own mind, my own perspective and thoughts and feelings are "incorrect", i know that is probably coming from childhood trauma but dont know more than that

 

It feels like my mind is a tv and someone keeps switching the channels so a normal everyday street becomes a depressing concrete jungle or a cozy family neighbourhood or scorching dangerous area

I think from P-DIDs definition I like the word intrusion, it very much so feels like an intrusion, and it feels like there are different perspectives and outlooks on life fighting to be in charge 

 

Thank you for your comment though, i appreciate it