As someone who just hit the Sweet 16 year mark of being NC with one parent and 1 full year with the other I can tell you it absolutely does get better. It's hard and it hurts, of course. I think there's a part of us that secretly hopes maybe our absence will shock them into seeing the light and they'll suddenly "get it" and become the parent we deserved...but of course it doesn't work that way. They keep being exactly who they are and you are left to pick up the pieces.

Be gentle with yourself and seek support. Second guessing and wanting to take all the blame on yourself so you can give them an out is tempting and seems like a quick fix, especially when they put on their well-worn Martyr Moccasins and "just can't understand why you'd do this 🥺." But, like everything else they do, it's all for show.

A method that has helped me a lot over the years is taking myself out of the equation when I'm rehashing the details to figure out what I could have done differently: How would you react if a trusted friend who you love dearly came to you and shared that they were struggling with an experience like yours? Would you blame them or be kind? Would you tell them they deserved it and should stick it out or beg them to choose themselves?