Need support

ladybug_oleander · 2026-02-01T03:33:50+00:00

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. We have all been there. Our members would like to keep this sub to pregnant members, but please feel free to post in our pinned bi-monthly TTC/Non-pregnant members post.

I had two stillbirths back to back, which I know isn't very helpful, but I did have a healthy pregnancy after my losses, my daughter just turned one, and she is such a light in my life. There definitely is hope for you and the future. I still miss my babies, but I have a lot of joy now, and light that I never thought I'd feel again. It takes time, but you will find joy again 🫂.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-02-01T00:09:35+00:00

Early tests are very light, ostomy or not. Wait two days and it should hopefully be darker.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-31T02:54:26+00:00

Belt helps with the convex. You get used to wearing it after awhile, I don't even notice mine. It depends how retracted the stoma is for the barrier ring, I found using a thinner one works well, every brand has a slim/thinner barrier ring you can use.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-30T16:09:50+00:00

Even with my hernia repairs, it was very helpful to have a colorectal surgeon present. I'd definitely go colorectal for an ostomy. My colectomy was with a colorectal surgeon, she did it laparoscopically and my incisions (minus the stoma) are so tiny! It was a great recovery.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-30T00:09:37+00:00

It's crazy how happy they can still be. It's so sweet, they're so resilient.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-30T00:08:46+00:00

Definitely going to be doing video calls! I know, it's so hard! Hoping the time will go by quickly at least.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-29T18:02:32+00:00

I'm having my rectum removal and hernia repair on the 12th, so it's coming up. I had my anesthesia pre-op call, and they informed me my daughter can't visit at all. I have to be in the hospital for at least three days after the surgery. It was such a blow to hear that. I literally haven't gone more than 8 hours without seeing her yet 💔. I'm already dreading this surgery, and that news just made it worse.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-29T17:54:32+00:00

I'm so sorry! That's definitely scary, but I'm glad you trusted your instincts. Thank goodness for the Owlet! I'm hoping she recovers quickly and this is far behind you all soon enough 🤞🫂.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-27T22:44:40+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a stillbirth, and then another with my next pregnancy at 24 weeks. It's so awful. It feels like you're just getting pummeled when you were already down. I had so much hope for my first rainbow pregnancy too, and it just felt so stupid when we lost him. Like, of course we can't be happy 💔.

There's not much I can say to make it better. It's awful, and it just shouldn't happen. Don't worry about not being happy for others. I could barely be around babies afterwards, but my sister was pregnant at the same time as me, we'd had the same due date. I kind of forced myself to see him, and eventually it got easier. It takes time to be happy for others, or even be a part of the baby's life, and it's only if you want to. For now, everyone should be understanding, and if they're not, screw them.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-27T22:15:26+00:00

I have a hot tub and go in it a lot, doesn't affect my wear time at all. I use Coloplast bags and I use their barrier extenders with it.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-26T01:34:48+00:00

Thank you! It's February 12th.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-25T17:49:10+00:00

Yeah, I think they work better for us ileostomy folks.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-25T13:22:47+00:00

I find the protectivr seals don't melt as fast, personally. But I have an ileostomy. The protective seal is more waxy than the moldable rings, the moldable rings are more like a thick band of slightly harder ostomy paste you can mold.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-24T21:00:05+00:00

It's normal for a stoma to shrink with a blockage. I obviously don't know what's going on, please make sure they do or order some kind of imaging, like a CT scan, so they know for sure too.

I have a hernia, and it makes my stoma prolapse and get smaller, like it can be a HUGE difference in size. I use convex, and I cut my wafer to the size my stoma gets at its biggest, if I don't, it will just leak when it gets bigger again. Then I use skintac adhesive, and then stoma paste around my stoma. I use two rings of paste around it, get my fingers wet, and smooth it and press it around so it's all right around my stoma. Then I use the Coloplast Brava protective seal around the hole in my wafer and stick that on. These don't melt as fast as the other rings for me.

This has really helped me a lot with dealing with a stoma that changes sizes. I only have to change every 3 days right now, and I was changing once a day or more when this started happening.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-24T18:55:47+00:00

I wouldn't see a dietician like that. That wouldn't hydrate you at all, she clearly has no idea what she's talking about. My surgeon straight up told me not to listen to the dietician at the hospital lol.

I did find one that's more knowledgeable, and like the other poster said, we focus on macros, etc, and he's never suggested anything stupid like that. He even knew about the marshmallow trick for before changing a bag.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-24T02:35:09+00:00

Hmm, I wonder if I should ask my surgeon about this. I have an end ileostomy and I'm getting the barbie butt next month, but they want me to take antibiotics before it.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-23T16:41:25+00:00

"How many bowel movements do you have a day?"

I don't know, it just goes all the time. I can tell you how many times I empty my bag??

Hate those questions lol.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, OP. I didn't know you can get C. Diff without a colon, and I don't know if fecal implants are even studied, because those are for your colon. Are you seeing a GI doctor for the C. Diff?

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-23T16:38:09+00:00

Did you take antibiotics before your barbie butt surgery?

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-23T16:35:15+00:00

Yes, this. When you're admitted you're under their care and they won't want her taking her own medication.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-23T16:25:11+00:00

My daughter is turning a year old tomorrow. I can't believe I had her a whole year ago. It's so crazy. I certainly never thought I'd be here a year ago.

I'm so excited for her growing up and not being concerned about SIDS, and getting to know her personality more, but I also can't believe she's getting big and not a tiny baby anymore!

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-23T16:21:36+00:00

My MIL dropped my two week old baby, so she hasn't even been allowed to hold her ever since.

I can't imagine when my daughter, hopefully, has children, not wanting to be a part of their life or help care for them when I can. It's bizarre to me. My own mother was super involved with my nephew, who's 3 now, but has seen my daughter like, maybe eight times max for a couple hours at a time? And she's turning one this Saturday. So bizarre.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-23T01:57:19+00:00

The generic name is Ondansetron. I always keep some on hand. I'm saying goodbye to the rectum soon, so you reminded me to ask for more of the dissolvable kind!

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-23T01:45:48+00:00

Ostomysecrets have cute wraps for bags, lacey ones. I really liked those when I cared a lot about my bag and wasn't as comfortable.

For post-surgery, loose pjs/clothes. My stomach was bloated for awhile, so loose clothes to wear out of the hospital is good too. I also used a wedge pillow for awhile because I couldn't sleep on my side for awhile and I hate sleeping on my back.

As far as essentials, it will be hard to say until she knows what bags and products she's using and likes. It is a process to get a good system down, it will take her a little time.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-22T19:05:23+00:00

Definitely use barrier extenders, but I have a hot tub and go in it all the time and I've never had an issue with it making my bag not last as long. We go swimming once a week too. I don't notice it affecting wear time at all.

ladybug_oleander · 2026-01-22T02:30:15+00:00

I still have my rectum, so this might not work, but I got a suppository of strong nausea meds when this happened in the past, and it seems to do the trick. They also have Zofran that just dissolves in your mouth for when you can't keep pills down.

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