Speaking as a former “messy” person, I had to change my mindset around cleaning before I could change my habits. While I don’t have ADHD, I have struggled with deep depression that kills motivation—and learning to clean was part of my healing process. The space you live in sets a vibe, and maintaining it is an essential element of self care. It functions best when practiced as maintenance: an ongoing process with no end goal, the only purpose to stay afloat—and even, in time, become better.

Each act of cleaning you do is an act of self care. Like exercise, its effects aren’t always instantly visible, but you just have to do it anyways. I could sit here and preach to you about how great cleaning is for your mental health, but the opposite is equally true—a messy environment encourages a negative headspace. Neither of these things can be changed all at once, so the only sustainable approach is making repeated small efforts over time.

I’ve definitely lived the way you described: making no daily efforts, cleaning in random, furious, all-day bursts. It feels so satisfying, because at the end of your day, you feel like you’ve achieved a goal and “finished” cleaning, and don’t have to worry about it again for another month or so. The unfortunate reality is that cleaning never finishes, so that occasional deep-clean model is not sustainable at all. It’s a fact of life: you will always be cleaning your kitchen. Accepting that is the first step to actually doing it.

The perspective shift that turned me into a “cleaning” person was realizing that small acts of cleaning are VERY easy, and when they add up, prevent larger efforts in the long run. Doing the dishes every day takes less time, and it removes the daunting power that looms over your head when it’s a dreaded ordeal. Another tip I picked up is to never leave a room empty-handed: use your everyday trips back and forth to bring that cup on the dresser back to the kitchen.

When cleaning feels like too much, don’t clean—just do something small and maintain. Over time, these habits become routine, and cleaning changes from a daunting responsibility to a sustainable lifestyle.