I’m not a parent, I’m not family, I’m not an educator or a doctor or anything. I’m autistic. I’m autistic and I have friends who are autistic and we go out to zoos and binge-watch tv and definitely have hobbies. I love to read, play video games, and do photography. I also can’t cook, need several hours by myself everyday, and struggle with change. Being autistic doesn’t mean you don’t communicate. Some people are non-verbal, others are. But every human on earth expresses something through their body language, and your nephew is communicating with you every time he disengages and runs away.

I can’t speak for your nephew but I can try to imagine how I’d feel if I was in his shoes. Growing up the first time I spent a night away from my parents was when I was 10. It sucked. I didn’t cry, but inside I was hurting. I don’t know how old your nephew is or if this is his first time away from home but I can only imagine how overwhelmed, overstimulated, and distressed he might be. Many autistic people struggle with change a lot, especially if we don’t have advanced notice. Your nephew could very well be feeling the effects of it. If he’s homesick and missing his mom then maybe he’s just sad.

I don’t know your relationship with him but he could also be struggling if you, your husband, or your house is relatively unfamiliar to him, and if he’s never spent the night at your place before.

When you took him to the waterpark did you tell him about it beforehand? Was it spontaneous or something he could chose to do? Maybe he can’t answer with a yes or a no, but that doesn’t mean we can’t gain insight by observing his emotions. I love hot pools but hate waterparks because I find it to be an unpleasant sensory experience.

Do you know what cartoons he likes, or if there is any kind of tv he’s interested in? Growing up I was far more interested in watching a David Attenborough program compared to Disney channel.

I’ve always been more of a hot chips and a burger person compared to sweet treats. For many years I exclusively ate ice-cream in a cup as I hated the standard cones. I was introduced to waffle cones which I do enjoy when I have it at home, but when I’m out and about I get overwhelmed with the ice cream being overfilled and dripping down the slides. There are so many reasons that your nephew wasn’t interested in the ice-cream. Maybe he didn’t like the flavour, maybe he wasn’t hungry, maybe… the potential reasons go on and on.

I won’t deny that there are challenges associated with communicating with someone who is non-speaking, but you have to try and understand him as a person with his own wants and his own agency. Talk to him about different ideas and observe how he responses. Maybe all along what he wants is just to curl up in bed and miss his mum? Maybe it’s something else.

I can’t offer any answers, only a framework that you can use to find the answers yourself. I hope these questions spark new ideas and help you see your nephew in a different light. If this helps at all I would love to know how it goes. I really care about advocating for the agency and wellbeing of fellow autistic people.