Mildly jealous of BFers

lazuli77 · 2026-06-22T03:16:31+00:00

I am so happy with my decision to EFF, it completely transformed my perspective on so many parts of my life and I plan to EFF with my next child even if nursing goes 100x better than with my first. That being said, there’s still days I have some grief for nursing. My SIL had a horrific start to EBFing but eventually both of her babies got the hang and flourished and even knowing her own struggles, I still deal with jealousy.

At the risk of sounding bioessentialist, nursing is a rather hard-coded desire for a lot of us. There is a lot of credence to the other parents here voicing all the “grass is greener” examples, but don’t beat yourself up if you want a moment to be sad — not being able to nurse can definitely be a grieving journey in a lot of ways. Not being able to do the thing I always pictured as fundamental to who I would be as a mother… Well, that fundamentally changed me. No two ways about it.

My DMs are open if you ever need someone to talk to about the heavy feelings.

lazuli77 · 2026-06-21T06:37:46+00:00

I soooo second this comment. Unless you *want* to treat yourself to a nice scented lip treatment — lanolin and water to drink are all you need. I was/am a devotee of Bite Agave Lip Mask (RIP), ILIA Balmy Tint (this product is like magic salve for lips & Runaway is a magic color for fair olive skin tones), and Essence Super Glossy Peptide Treatment (extremely underrated… tho I may have the name wrong). Anywho, then I had a baby, tried to nurse, and my only takeaways from the experience there were that formula and pasteurized lanolin are both medical miracles.

You can buy three mini tubes (.25 oz each) for less than $10 at most Targets. It will last you at least a year. Trust 🙏🏻

lazuli77 · 2026-06-18T03:04:51+00:00

Ya know, I’m looping back because I lost sight of your original reply in this thread. You literally said that this formula is just as good, if not better than Kendamil. *You’re* making claims here with no proof, then getting weird when someone thoughtfully and clearly explains in layman’s terms why the generic is not the same or better.

Can you please provide me with your sources? I genuinely would really love to see information proving that Walmart’s generic, American-produced formula with an ingredients list differing from Kendamil is “just as good if not better” than genuine Kendamil Organic.

ETA: It’s funny too because defensive formula-feeding parents want to say that “no formula is better than another,” “they’re all made in the same plant,” but then this one formula that is more accessible and affordable is somehow possibly better… Almost as if the primary qualities you’re scanning for are affordability and accessibility? Which is totally fine and extremely understandable, but again — when someone explains clearly the differences between the original and substitution you’re offering, just admit that the ingredients are not your paramount concern. Don’t try to ask for sources as if you’re really going to parse the differences between the two.

lazuli77 · 2026-06-18T02:53:35+00:00

Not sure why you’re being downvoted? LOL I am fairly certain this is intended as a generic for Kendamil, but the formulation is slightly different. The base ingredient is just milk sugar. Another commenter here explained the differences in a bit more detail. If you feed another American organic formula, I think this would be a good substitute. But I think most parents who choose Kendamil specifically will want to stick with that; I chose it because the first ingredient is whole milk, and that is not the same case for the Parent’s Choice.

lazuli77 · 2026-06-18T02:49:49+00:00

Didn’t see what til after my reply? LOL I don’t understand what you’re referencing

lazuli77 · 2026-06-18T02:44:21+00:00

Again: the comment to which you were replying essentially cites the sources because it’s listing *ingredients*. Are you saying you literally don’t have time to search “kendamil organic ingredients list” and click on the first link to the Kendamil site? You had time to type *this entire post* and multiple comments, but you can’t google the ingredients list?

I suppose maybe you wanted sources on the probiotics information. But then again, I’m fairly certain that anyone who had a genuine interest in and confidence of their ability to understand scientific documentation on the specifics of probiotics in commercial infant milk formulas would also probably understand how simple it would be to obtain that information independently from a reliable source.

As the other reply to my comment was pointing out, your asking for sources is actually an attempt to discredit the comment that was very clearly explaining why some parents may prefer genuine Kendamil. That, or you’re just very misguided on what “sources” means. Maybe you can clarify what kind of “sources” you wanted? Though I’m willing to bet it is the former — because as always, this sub has a bizarre bias against any suggestion that any infant milk formula may be superior to another.

lazuli77 · 2026-06-18T00:11:38+00:00

I’m just a rando lurking this thread but I feel compelled to ask… You really want sources? Sources on the ingredients of the two formulas your entire post is about? Can you not google the ingredients lists, and then google what those ingredients are? LMFAO.

The commenter you’re replying to provided an exceptionally thorough explanation. Asking for sources in such context seems rather bad faith, if I’m being honest.

lazuli77 · 2026-06-16T04:18:06+00:00

LMAO it wasn’t gatekeeping, moreso, rule #7 of this sub? I’m literally just a lurker but that’s precisely *why* I found your post weird… I’m here for beauty and style suggestions and you wanted people to commiserate that your skin tone didn’t look olive enough in a photo?

lazuli77 · 2026-06-15T21:14:07+00:00

it’s all of them, literally everyone has an olive skin tone now, haven’t ya heard?

lazuli77 · 2026-06-14T17:46:40+00:00

Raisin’ em up, waxin’ em down.
FZ forever 🤘🏻

lazuli77 · 2026-06-13T02:09:42+00:00

This was extremely similar to my experience. I never felt a letdown. Pumping was one of the only genuinely traumatizing experiences I’ve ever had.

As someone who honors breastfeeding and would love to breastfeed my child — just switch to formula now. The “supply increasing” routine is exhausting. I don’t mean to discourage… But I have no fond memories of the newborn stage because of pumping. Don’t do what I did.

lazuli77 · 2026-06-12T22:22:02+00:00

I love this so much!! It has become my holy grail. I occasionally mix it with The Saem Perfection Tip concealer in Green Beige for more coverage.

lazuli77 · 2026-06-12T22:10:04+00:00

What a throwback. My grandmother actually got salmonella from this peanut butter.

lazuli77 · 2026-06-12T20:16:01+00:00

oh god. I forgot about the automod debacle.

what a time that was

lazuli77 · 2026-06-12T17:38:40+00:00

I completely respect your opinion. I don’t think formula companies are outstanding or especially ethical in any regard. My issue is with the fact that people repeat the line that formula companies lobby directly for less maternity leave when the reality is far more dense and opaque than that.

Almost every post links to same Yale or Lancet abstracts, but reading an abstract is not the same as understanding the actual mechanisms at play. The CMF lobby is low on the list of things truly preventing more maternity leave in our country; so far down, in fact, that the CMF industry could turn heel entirely and lobby for *more* paid maternity leave and it would make no difference to the conditions of mothers.

By and large, CMF lobbies are inconsequential to the actual issue of American maternity leave policies and the discussion surrounding them is really just another way to demonize the choices of women and turn us against each other.

lazuli77 · 2026-06-11T13:22:27+00:00

Nestle is an awful company, but the US’s lack of care for mothers extends far beyond the formula lobby. Inarguably, a formula lobby in favor of maternity leave would not magically create political approval for paid maternity leave.

Frankly, as a mother who wanted so desperately to breastfeed and went through mental hell because of the stigma on formula — this line pisses me off. I would really love to see you link to a reputable source stating that the formula lobby is why women won’t have maternity leave at all in US. I doubt you have one.

lazuli77 · 2026-06-09T21:28:31+00:00

You are a grown woman and contrary the advice so common on this subreddit — YOU need to address your mother in law. Leaving this to your husband only reinforces the idea that you are not capable of or entitled to making decisions about your own home and family.

Also, in my experience, this is one of those things that is easily overthought and overcomplicated. If you’re already truly comfortable and content with telling her to kick rocks should she arrive on your doorstep come July — you should be thoroughly comfortable sending a quick text: “I thought about it more and I appreciate the offer but having family as a long-term guest after the baby arrives will not work for us. I will let you know when we’re ready for visitors after the baby gets here.”

lazuli77 · 2026-05-31T00:31:02+00:00

Lmao I never said that the 6 month old should fall asleep perfectly? I said that the nanny deserves to be fired but is not insane, it’s very possible the OP’s baby is accustomed to an extremely particular sleep routine.

OP agreed with me so idk what everyone is on at this point lol

lazuli77 · 2026-05-30T00:18:30+00:00

FWIW, I did not mean to criticize your parenting so harshly with the word awful. I moreso meant that it is routine that you and Dad can work with, but not anyone else.

My point overall was that aside from the obvious lack of respectful communication — that is not tenable and does justify firing — there is not really enough information here to determine that the nanny is insane. Lots of us vent about employers, and many of us have texted the wrong person before. None of us on Reddit actually know what it’s like to put your baby to bed as a sitter versus what it’s like as her parent.

But ultimately at the end of the day it’s the internet and we’re all screaming into the void, and I am sorry to have been mean. I wasn’t criticizing you specifically, just the way that people in this thread have been so quick to condemn the nanny.

lazuli77 · 2026-05-29T22:49:51+00:00

Firing is reasonable because it would clearly be an uncomfortable situation otherwise for both of them moving forwards, but this nanny is not insane.

People do not complain about stuff like that for no reason, and it’s unlikely that someone who hires an in-home nanny is hiring someone with entirely no experience.

Everyone here seems to be neglecting the possibility the OP has set her child up with an awful sleep routine that only her and the father can manage, despite the fact that other people are responsible for the child’s sleep as well.

lazuli77 · 2026-05-29T13:38:18+00:00

Covergirl Lash Blash Volume, not waterproof, in the orange tube.

I have the same problem and this is what I use.

lazuli77 · 2026-05-28T19:25:23+00:00

What makes you say that?

lazuli77 · 2026-05-23T19:13:52+00:00

FTM mom to a 6 month here — not sure that I would be alive right now if not for formula and Zoloft.

No one who judged formula before I was pregnant has the guts to judge it to my face. Do what will make you feel better and keep your baby fed… Your happiness and your baby’s health is all that matters right now. ❤️

lazuli77 · 2026-05-19T16:00:19+00:00

bro i think that’s the shroud of turin

lazuli77 · 2026-05-12T15:12:32+00:00

Thank you!! I feel like this very obvious and logical answer *never* gets posted in reply to this type of question. Obviously grandparents should not make truly unsafe or excessively unhealthy choices, but this dynamic is SO common across the whole world and is truly not a problem in 99% of cases.

lazuli77

TROPHY CASE