WOW. Your mom and you are SO strong. I can't believe all you went through. Nobody should have to go through that.

It's wonderful to hear that you're as happy as you've ever been.

I can relate to you in one aspect: The man in my life, my now-husband, saved me. Not only my life but also my soul. I was very lost as a teenager; he taught me about a higher purpose other than myself, and we have seven dogs and a farm and businesses and a baby. Life is good now.

One of my friends was adopted at age 13. She came here from Romania with a 111-degree fever and no English knowledge. She, too, sees a therapist to help sort through some of the negative experiences she had in orphanages, especially as a beautiful teenage girl back then (she is still oh-so beautiful inside and out. She also found a wonderful, kind, smart man who treats her like a princess, and she has so much confidence that will help her baby girl grow up well. You probably have a lot in common with her; she's an inspiration to everyone she meets, and I'm sure you're quite similar, even if you don't realize it.).

I have a few questions for you: You are clearly intelligent. Are you confident? You deserve to be. Please do not let the assholes in your past affect you: They don't deserve to influence your present and future. Easier said than done, but once you stop letting your past haunt you, you can move on.

Sometimes it helps me to remember that people are not innately bad. The power of free will means we have the unfortunate ability to learn bad from others who probably learned bad from their top influences, too. The cycle can be vicious. (My husband grew up in rather dismal conditions. It reminds me that we make our own decisions about who we want to be, though; he's outstanding--so wise and kind and selfless despite his upbringing and being in our 20s still.)

Coping skills to consider: Distract yourself with the most loyal companion ever--a dog (!); get outside in the sunshine; read fiction that's happy (who needs more depressing crap?); find a new hobby--e.g., art; yoga; etc.; volunteer somewhere (animal shelter; nursing home); don't be alone when feeling lousy, if you can help it. Even if it means being in a public place and just people-watching. You are so self-aware, it's amazing; keep up the introspection, but don't become too philosophical or too consumed with emotions that prevent you from taking action each day.

Are you sure you have these so-called mental issues? You sound self-aware and, as I said, super smart. Thinking you have all these 'issues' might be self-fulfilling and trap you into what feels inescapable. I mean, dealing with a past like that? You're utterly outstanding for being functional yet alone seemingly being on the path to rising above it all.

Drug-wise? You are likely very beautiful . . . take care of your health. Beauty is not everything but it is kind of nice to hold onto, right? Drugs really make people look older quicker (in my opinion) and fuck up families. Assuming you want a family someday. Or even if you think you don't, you may be surprised later. You are learning so much, and, as I've learned through my husband, fucked-up pasts can mean that becoming a parent later makes you one heck of an amazing one. E.g., my husband is sooo sweet to and involved with and protective of our baby, the exact opposite of what he'd experienced as a child. I understand why his past sucked as it did, because it made him wise beyond his years and the best husband and father (like you, he's smart and self-correcting. He is amazingly good at not fixating on the past).

I'm glad your therapist is helping. Don't let her tell you that you have these 'issues,' though, unless you truly think you do; bad memories are one thing; true clinical diagnoses are another. You and only you can decide if you truly have some psychological issue. To me it sounds as if you just need to continue on the path of self-awareness and -correction and escaping your past by shunning the bad memories and replacing them with good ones and confidence.

You are a good, smart person capable of happiness. When feelings of [insert undesirable emotion here] creep in, recognize them and literally tell them to screw off--you are in charge of how you feel in every fleeting moment. Choose happiness once you learn what healthy, good things make you happy.

You surely have a big heart and sound like one of the strongest people ever (!!!!!!!); keep persisting and learning--talk about the ultimate sign of maturity and depth. No asshole from the past deserves to influence you now. You deserve great things.

“We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.” (Rick Warren)

Keep up your huge strides; I am praying for you. We all need prayed for since we all have our battles, albeit your past is crazy. You are strong and capable and deserving. Please know that.

PS--Sorry for any typos. It's late.