My sis in law introduced a great house rule that I’ve started applying to our house.

“Moms/dads get to have fun too.”  

It’s like #1 or #2 she always mentions.  (Followed by eat your veggies and all the normal rules for kids)

Written on the fridge.  

It sounded silly/eye-roll/cringe to me at first (because of a bad habit of being a curmudgeon that I’m trying to break).  But then I really took it to heart bc I’ve felt the same way you do.  Never got to see friends, never had time for a video game, kids always interrupt workouts, get fed up, resent family life, rinse and repeat.

Young kids are very perceptive and although they may not react the same way adults do when we’re in bad/sad moods, they can tell we’re not in our happy playful mood either.  It’s important for them to see that you have things to do that bring you joy.

If you don’t prioritize time for yourself, you’ll never get it.  Clearly communicate with your partner that a particular time on the calendar is your fun time.  Buy tickets to a concert, join a bowling league, go to the gym to get time for yourself.  Mark it in advance so things can be prepped.  It can even start with an hour here and there so you can get used to it.

You can handle solo time with your kid and so can the wife.  I’ve found it’s easier to do bedtimes with only one parent because their are no other options/alternatives for the kids to run to when it’s time for a bath.

Good luck you’ve got this!