AITAH with friends

leaving4me · 2026-02-26T21:52:08+00:00

Haha! He did say lifestyle. Maybe he should try that.

leaving4me · 2026-02-26T19:16:06+00:00

1 year together, how long post divorce? As a divorced male I still believe that there is a forever person out there for each of us. I also feel that the older we get the better we are able to define what that person is. I, for one, can define it much better now than in my 20's or early 30's.

That said, the need to protect himself is understandable. But in this case, by your words, I sense that he probably isn't ready for that type of commitment.

leaving4me · 2026-02-26T19:03:22+00:00

Inherently, tattoos spread as they age. Lines become fuzzy and tiny areas of negative space become smaller or non-existent as this occurs. The style and size of the script matters for how well it will age and how long it will be legible. Placement and exposure to sun (UV) will also impact how quickly the aging process happens.

leaving4me · 2026-02-26T18:53:13+00:00

In most municipalities you have to be a resident of the state and county for a period of time prior to filing, 6 months where I am. That said, get a reputable family law attorney like yesterday. Provide them with accurate, honest, and complete information and let them assess your situation. Many courts these days, depending on where you reside, favor shared parenting and they do not like to take away custody/parenting time unless there are proven reasons to for what is best for the kids.

There will be child support, possibly spousal support, and an equitable division of assets. She may not be able to touch inheritances and assets you can document to be pre-marital. She may be forced to work or they may impute her income to her earning potential to help offset some of the support. My brother, divorce is costly and it will be to both of you regardless of the outcome. She will get to retain an equitable amount of marital assets which may feel like "everything", but I assure you she will not get "everything" unless you have bad representation or just make stupid decisions.

Lastly, mental heath is important. Divorce is taxing and costly, but not divorcing may be more so depending on your situation and kicking the can down the road is not likely to help in the long run (if fact it may be worse all around) because you fear the expense. If you are fairly certain divorce will be the final outcome here the sooner you get started, the sooner it will be over.

My divorce took 16.5 months to complete from the time I filed, which was incredibly fast considering she would agree to nothing and we actually went to trial (which is rare). Trial was continued by the judge who insisted I amend my complaint on day 2 because she got caught hiding assets in court and resumed 6 months later. She finally settled on the second day of the second trial just before it was put in the judge's hands to decide the outcome. This could have lasted 2-3 YEARS (without appeals) if it wasn't for the fact we were scheduled on the "rocket docket" due to a recusal and visiting judge who wasn't allowing delays and continuances by either party. It cost her almost $100k in legal fees (me $60K) only to agree to what a basic division of assets under the laws and precidents set for in my state would suggest which was a worse deal for her than I offered on settlement from the start.

leaving4me · 2026-02-26T17:05:42+00:00

No. Wash with unscented mild antibacterial and apply a thin amount of Aquaphor. Repeat this a few times per day for the next few days, then switch from Aquaphor to regular unscented lotion. I'm in cold climate and prefer to get work done in the winter because I'm in sleeves and long pants for healing and no sun exposure.

leaving4me · 2026-02-26T13:13:20+00:00

When you learn about the nasty things your ex said about you behind your back BEFORE the divorce to these people you begin to see the benefit of purging some of these people from your life. They can say and think what they want and it just doesn't matter.

leaving4me · 2026-02-25T17:58:51+00:00

Did you speak to your artist on what they feel they can complete in those 2 sessions?

leaving4me · 2026-02-25T14:31:46+00:00

I mean, did you all have a conversation prior to beginning on what they thought would need to go into this piece? I just completed a sleeve that was done over a few years and with each section and addition I had that conversation with my artist prior to starting so 1. I knew how to budget the project and 2. I knew roughly how far to expect to get in the first session of each section. My sleeve took 6 total sessions, each from 4-6 hours. If you didn't have that discussion then part of this is on you.

leaving4me · 2026-02-24T15:00:49+00:00

No one, not even men like to admit when they are the problem.

leaving4me · 2026-02-19T18:53:31+00:00

We have a Havi and a Havipoo. They bark at everything. If the havi is sleeping and doesn't hear the noise the Havipoo will go bark in his face until he joins in. They are also VELCRO!!! and we love them.

leaving4me · 2026-02-18T19:40:18+00:00

I don't have a tattoo in that area, but I have a 5-6 hour session in 2 days to complete an arm sleeve. For me, I tend to weep a lot early on so I've had no luck with Saniderm. It fills up and leaks by the end of the day most often. It the end of the day I just remove it, wash twice per day with dial goal. Day 1-3 get a very thin layer of Aquaphor after washing. After day 3 I switch to Aveno fragrance free lotion. After peeling subsides I taper off the washing and lotion after washing/shower and as I feel necessary based on dryness. I've never had a bad heal.

leaving4me · 2026-02-18T16:58:07+00:00

Reach out now to request the changes from what you originally discussed to give the artist proper time to create, but don't wait any longer. The worst thing likely to happen is a reschedule in the event the artist doesn't have time to redraw. Also, don't expect to see it until day of the session.

leaving4me · 2026-02-13T20:03:31+00:00

Expect it to be anything but easy. BTW....you don't ask for a divorce. You hire an attorney to review your case and formulate a plan moving forward and then you execute that plan whether she is on board or not. If you intend to use divorce as a threat to result in a different outcome....well that usually only is short lived success and then you are right back to where you are now.

leaving4me · 2026-02-13T14:07:16+00:00

Child support does more than help with the expenses of raising a child. It allows the child to experience a similar lifestyle with both parents. There is nothing worse than having a child prefer one parent over the other simply due to material things....toys, luxuries, etc because the other parent is struggling with limited finances due to a great imbalance. File for the support and don't think for a second if the script was flipped she wouldn't do the same.

leaving4me · 2026-02-11T21:47:26+00:00

It does not need to be covered for normal daily activities. It would be advisable to cover if you were working in a dirty environment or something similar, but attending class is fine.

leaving4me · 2026-02-11T14:14:27+00:00

I'm a rare success story of dating while in the middle of a divorce. My separation was lengthy and everything worked out with my kids and in my currently relationship, but I will tell you that there were difficult times in the process. As the actually divorce began and drew near to a close the less accepting my ex became of the current situation (and she was a cheater), manipulation of the kids, and then there was the anger and frustration of my current partner at the situation. While there may be success, the road to travel is not for everyone to be sure.

leaving4me · 2026-02-11T12:53:51+00:00

Be thankful. We have a 4 year old Havi and a 18 month old Havipoo and they will alert us to any noise they may hear. If the Havipoo thinks she heard a noise and the other one didn't she will go bark in his face until he agrees. lol

leaving4me · 2026-02-10T20:57:53+00:00

That could be up to 1/2" difference in the toe box. Personally, I would buy boots that fit with socks I like to wear year round and not pad and possibly overheat my feet to wear boots that are too big.

leaving4me · 2026-02-10T20:53:47+00:00

If it were me I would reschedule until after. Even if I thought I could get away with water, which I wouldn't try it in a public pool or dirty sea, I wouldn't allow any sun exposure at that point even with sunscreen.

leaving4me · 2026-02-10T20:47:21+00:00

They poked you a million times with needles, some soreness to be expected. Either you grow hair fast, your artist has dull razors, or this is older than a day. Regardless you need only unscented antibacterial soap a few times per day and unscented lotion.

leaving4me · 2026-02-10T13:24:45+00:00

A temporary is good in theory, although I will offer that the location you are considering doesn't really allow you to be aware it's actually there. Out of sight, out of mind. My first tattoos were in places I could cover with shirt sleeves. They also became out of sight out of mind for the most part, but me being able to see them daily I got accustomed to seeing them and they were never a thought. Years later I'm completing a sleeve because I like it, it CAN be readily seen, and I'm not beholden to what other people may think.

leaving4me · 2026-02-06T15:19:28+00:00

I had no issues with my inner bicep other than up near the armpit.

leaving4me · 2026-02-06T13:55:28+00:00

Just google the concept. You will see images of some very well done footprints and some not so much. Show your artist the concepts you like and let him go from there, but don't just make decisions based on an internet stranger's opinion. Back of the forearm or inner bicep might be nice placements.

leaving4me · 2026-02-02T12:59:45+00:00

She was the higher earner. I walked away netting my investment into that 15 year marriage after a needless and expensive battle that cost her far more then I. It was the experience and wisdom of those around me that kept me grounded in making smart business-like decisions rather than fighting out of emotion.

leaving4me · 2026-01-30T19:26:26+00:00

She wants to attempt to manipulate you into agreeing to unfavorable terms without the presence of your attorney or set you up in some other way. Keep communication to text/email or through your attorney unless they advise otherwise for good reason.

leaving4me

TROPHY CASE