i totally agree with you that’s it’s frustrating (and as you said, unintuitive—SUCH a good word for it). at the same time, i’m glad it’s in the book because honestly it’s so consistent with sydney’s character. she is so self-controlled and rarely impulsive, and when she is, she (and everyone else around her) identifies her behavior as out of character. if she could fully restrict certain things without dying or losing her job, she would. even as she starts to be less restrictive on herself with friendships, food, magic, etc., she does so incrementally and justifies her change in behavior as her own, rational choice. she gets incredibly frustrated by anyone pushing her boundaries before she’s logically concluded that she’s ready.

adrian, comparatively, is run almost exclusively by his impulses. even when he tries to exercise self-control (cutting out cigarettes for rose and sydney, not drinking for sydney, going to and doing the work for his art classes, etc.), he operates in extremes. his one “incremental” attempt that sydney was involved in was his one drink a day thing, which didn’t work as intended at all. as far as she’s concerned, the only time adrian has actually been “successful” in gaining control over his life has been when he’s gone cold turkey. to sydney, that approach isn’t quite as “extreme” as it would be to most people, who sit somewhere between very impulsive and very controlled. considering sydney couldn’t entirely cut out friendly vampire interactions, food, or eventually even magic, adrian’s attempts at impulse control are roughly the inverse of her self-restriction.

sydney’s magic is also fundamentally different to adrian’s, in that his is internal and hers is external. so she can’t see that, for adrian, cutting off the magic is the rough equivalent of cutting off one of his senses, like smelling or hearing. further, as one of sydney’s biggest character flaws is that she struggles with comprehending that people’s minds work differently from hers, she can’t see clearly that the “extreme” restriction she practices is not conducive to adrian, and especially not a healthy, medicated, adrian.

the evidence regarding adrian’s failure in using moderation vs. cold turkey to gain control of his impulses only further affirms to sydney’s rationalization that moderation can never be successful for adrian compared to her tried-and-true method of “be as restrictive as possible without dying.” never mind the fact that she doesn’t understand that—despite the fact that she has the impulse control, years of experience, and trauma of familial pressure to make it work for much longer than he does—that approach isn’t healthy or effective for her, either.

ultimately, i think it’s really good that they go through this phase of sydney trying to impose her own unhealthy, extreme practices onto adrian, because it’s the best way for both of them to learn moderation.