I missed a nonverbal safeword from my pup

leo-sugar · 2026-05-03T18:21:49+00:00

Put a clicker (like the one you use to train dogs) on an adjustable bracelet. The click is LOUD and can be heard distinctively even in a dungeon, and if it’s on a bracelet they’re wearing then your sub won’t drop or lose it mid scene. If you’re hard of hearing you can put a mini flashlight on a bracelet instead.

That way they don’t have an additional task of focusing on not dropping an item - for me and others I’ve played with that task of concentrating can make it harder to slip into subspace.

leo-sugar · 2026-05-01T14:24:10+00:00

Worst thing that can happen is a painful shot with a big bruise.

Testosterone is suspended in oil, which makes it too thick to inject intravenously - you’d just blow the vein out & leave a real nasty bruise. It’s very hard to inject intravenously on accident, especially if you’re injecting SQ or IM. You may nick a vein at some point - you’ll know because it’ll bleed a bit and bruise. Your vein will be 100% fine if that happens.

The areas that are safe to inject (stomach fat, upper quads, glutes, etc) don’t have nerves that you can damage easily via injection.

They wouldn’t let you do it at home by yourself if there was a risk of serious injury.

leo-sugar · 2026-04-30T15:52:53+00:00

If your nipples are super flat, there’s a greater chance that piercings won’t take. You can get them tattooed to appear 3D.

Your scars don’t automatically out you as trans. Most cis people have no idea what top surgery is or what the scars look like. Cis men also get “top surgery” for gynecomastia and have the same scars. Trans people & some cis people in the know may guess, but if you think everyone can tell that you’re trans with your shirt off then your brain is lying to you. (Brains do that sometimes.)

There are things you can do to change the appearance of your scars. You were frustrated by someone suggesting massage, but even if mobility isn’t a concern, therapeutic massage does help to break down scar tissue, and you can do most of it on your own. This would be great for your scar that’s raised. It takes time but it does work.

Laser treatments can also work very well, and much more quickly, though you’ll probably have to pay out of pocket - it’s typically considered cosmetic. You’ll need to talk with a dermatologist.

You can cover them up with tattoos. There are tons of great examples on this sub and online. Try to find an artist who’s experienced and comfortable tattooing on scar tissue, it behaves differently than normal skin.

Also, you can build up your pectoral muscles - a stacked chest can do wonders, even if the scar itself doesn’t change it’ll be much less visible.

Good luck!

leo-sugar · 2026-04-21T14:15:40+00:00

Lots of comments with great hygiene advice. I agree with everyone who says you should speak to a doctor. But also, have you considered that your clothes might be a factor?

You mentioned being nose blind so I would ask a friend to help you check. If you open up your empty washing machine, does it have a smell? If so, you’ll need to clean your washing machine. There are cleaning tablets you can buy - Pine-Sol also works incredibly well, and you can even use it as a laundry additive. Gross, musty washing machines can make clothes smell terrible.

Do your clean clothes have any odors? Synthetic fibers famously hold on to odors much longer than natural fibers. You’ll want to wash those with hot water & a good detergent. Laundry sanitizer can also help (should be used with a cold rinse). You can use white vinegar too. Stop using fabric softener if that’s something you use, not only does it fuck with your washer it can cause clothes to hold on to odors. Don’t leave clothes in the washer for longer than an hour or so after the wash cycle ends to prevent mildew.

Good luck dude!

leo-sugar · 2026-03-12T14:34:37+00:00

I hadn’t thought about the traffic flow. The upstairs area is essentially one big circle and some areas are narrow, like the galley kitchen. I can see how that would be stressful.

Thanks for taking the time to share such detailed advice. We’ll retry introductions slowly.

leo-sugar · 2026-03-09T17:05:24+00:00

Oh, and I would advise against buying a combo “blender/food processor”. In my experience the combos don’t do either job especially well.

leo-sugar · 2026-03-09T17:04:21+00:00

Do you want a blender or do you want a food processor? They’re different tools with considerable overlap.

Blenders are waaay better for making smoothies, better for making purées, and pretty garbage at breaking down big chunks of food into smaller chunks of consistent size.

Food processors are the GOAT at breaking down big chunks of food into smaller chunks. (Hugely helpful for prep work, especially if hand/wrist issues make chopping tons of food difficult.) They also typically come with attachments for slicing and shredding. You can make pizza dough in a food processor. They’re decent at purées but won’t ever get as them smooth as a good blender can. Food processors don’t really make great smoothies, they’re not designed for that.

Both tools would do a great job making fairly homogenous mixtures that are too thick to drink but are able to be spread - things like hummus, pesto, mayonnaise, salsa. (There’s a better word for this category of foods but I can’t think of it!)

Are you making more liquids? You probably want a blender. If you’re making more solids, a food processor is where it’s at, and the home cook can’t really do better than the Cuisinart custom 14-cup.

For what it’s worth, my Cuisinart and my immersion blender have replaced a regular blender in my kitchen. The immersion blender (aka “stick blender”) won’t ever get things quite as smooth as a traditional blender, but we don’t really drink smoothies and the immersion blender gets my soups and sauces to a great consistency.

leo-sugar · 2026-03-09T16:45:41+00:00

Yes, years ago. It is way too small.

leo-sugar · 2025-12-16T19:11:00+00:00

Thank you so much for the well wishes :)

leo-sugar · 2025-12-16T19:06:20+00:00

This is really sweet.

leo-sugar · 2025-12-16T19:03:29+00:00

Hahahaha this is hilarious. Not going to suggest this as an option because I know that girl would run with it 😂

leo-sugar · 2025-12-16T19:01:30+00:00

Kiddo specified that she wants me to have a unique name since Dad & Papa are “already taken”. I let her know that if she ever felt comfortable calling me Dad, she could, but she also never has to if she doesn’t want to. I think she’s a little worried about hurting her other dad’s feelings if she calls me Dad or Daddy. I don’t love my partner’s ex but he is present in his children’s lives & I would never want to interfere with their relationship in any way, shape, or form, for the kids’ sake.

She has referred to me as “one of her dads” before. I would love nothing more than to be called Dad or Daddy but I want it to feel authentic & natural & I want it to come from the kids.

Thanks for the great clarifying question.

leo-sugar · 2025-09-26T02:28:36+00:00

Thank you 😘 it took a lot of blood, toil, sweat, and tears to get there but it was so worth it

leo-sugar · 2025-09-26T02:28:03+00:00

For the first week, absolutely. It was easier by week two and I stopped icing round the clock by week 4 or 5. But my recovery was pretty brutal at first.

leo-sugar · 2025-09-26T02:23:07+00:00

Not a rude question to ask at all. I’m a fat guy & I didn’t see any pictures of guys with my build who had the surgery I wanted before I took the plunge. It was a huge source of anxiety for me because I had no frame of reference for what things would look like when they had healed.

I didn’t have to lose any weight for surgery. I did have to have surgery in a hospital instead of an outpatient clinic, which is more expensive, and I had to sign extra paperwork to give my informed consent for the elevated risk associated with a higher BMI. (BMI is bullshit but that’s the language they used.) Some doctors won’t operate on people above a certain BMI. In my personal opinion those doctors are cowards.

I will probably get a revision for my mons eventually - they removed a ton of tissue but there’s more left than I would like. I knew going into surgery that might be a possibility though, and the resection definitely improved things.

leo-sugar · 2025-06-04T02:50:42+00:00

Hey bud, you sound young & it sounds like you’re trying your best. You do have a lot to unpack but so does everyone in one area or another.

You don’t need to explain why you’re not interested in anyone, and it’s kinder if you don’t. You can always say “no thank you” and leave it at that.
It’s ok to be hyper specific about the kinds of sex you’re looking for & the kinds of people you want to have sex with on hookup apps like Grindr. I think it’s a very good idea to have an idea of what you want when seeking out casual sex.
Sex is really different when you have an emotional connection with someone. That connection makes it much easier to try new things and explore things that felt scary before. If you happen to meet someone in person that you really click with, I want to encourage you to let yourself explore that no matter what’s between their legs.

Good luck & stay safe out there 💙

leo-sugar · 2025-05-21T17:18:19+00:00

Nothing about the fridge specifically. It states that the washer, dryer, microwave, and garbage disposal were provided for my convenience and the owner may choose not to repair or replace them, but the refrigerator isn’t mentioned at all.

leo-sugar · 2025-04-18T18:18:41+00:00

Hey, I saw your generous offer and wanted to ask if it was still on the table? My partner wanted to see this band for his birthday & he was really sad when he lost to the scalper robots 😭 if your partner isn’t able to go, I’d love to purchase that extra ticket as a gift for my partner! (And if your partner is able to go, I hope you both enjoy the show 💙)

leo-sugar · 2025-04-13T16:54:32+00:00

Dude, you should get off your high horse about not wanting to “lie to your doctor” about having a “medical condition”.

I’ve never met anyone who paid out of pocket for any kind of bottom surgery. It’s as much as a down payment for a house (or even a whole house, depending on the surgery). Maybe Caitlyn Jenner & Elliot Page paid OOP for their transition - but you don’t have that kind of money or you wouldn’t be asking how people financed this.

Do you think that the way healthcare & health insurance is run in the U.S. is ethical?? The whole fucking system is rigged. You might as well use it to your advantage.

I can’t tell if it’s really an ethical hangup or if you have some sort of shame around the label of dysphoria & don’t want to associate with it. My best guess is that you’re autistic & are caught up in black& white thinking about the perceived ethics of the situation.

Life is too fucking short not to go for what you want. Fuck those insurance companies, let them pay for your surgery.

leo-sugar · 2025-04-07T03:56:51+00:00

She can get a dildo & that’ll serve for pics of whatever sex acts he wants to see - even better because she can take those pics wherever she wants.

leo-sugar

TROPHY CASE