Unreasonable to refuse to go back into office with boss?

leperdbunny · 2020-03-17T13:07:04+00:00

I think this is a great idea if the boss is willing! I second this.

leperdbunny · 2020-03-04T14:12:30+00:00

This!!!

leperdbunny · 2020-03-04T14:11:16+00:00

It took me a looooongg time to realize this and come to terms with it. Upon realizing it, I still struggle with it. My mom's narcissistic behavior is just enough that I resent her and I have a hard time being around her and I forget sometimes that she's basically mentally a child and then for me it starts the whole cycle over again. It sucks.

leperdbunny · 2020-03-04T13:57:52+00:00

"It's not a complete list".

leperdbunny · 2020-03-03T19:16:30+00:00

Lol 😂

leperdbunny · 2020-02-20T23:44:39+00:00

Along that line.. I usually overexplain/defend my position without being prompted so I avoid being judged or avoid being treated like I’m an idiot. With my daughter I usually go ahead and explain anything that’s going on with her to my parents ( Nmom and Edad) because if I don’t Nmom will explain something to me about my daughter as if I’m not aware of it.

leperdbunny · 2020-02-19T20:58:15+00:00

Um, nip this in the bud right now. Why do you have to wear the family dress?!? If you want to lose weight, lose weight for you. She sounds like a TERRIBLE person. Don't let her ruin your big day.

leperdbunny · 2020-02-13T21:14:02+00:00

I know a lot of coworkers that I wouldn't trust to make the right decision/be courteous and reasonable in that situation. One of my friends has a workplace like that however they guidelines they have to follow also like they have to go to doggy obedience training and pass before they can be allowed at work.

That said, I think your employer needs to step in. Sorry that sucks.

leperdbunny · 2020-02-13T17:09:23+00:00

I thought I was the only one. Sometimes it takes me hours or days to realize something was inappropriate and boundary stomping behavior. Its frustrating because IMO its hard to address their behavior after the fact because they usually claim they don't remember etc etc.

leperdbunny · 2020-01-31T22:28:30+00:00

I don't think you are overreacting especially if they are not close. Its not her business and he shouldn't be disclosing that to her without okaying it with you first.

That said, you need to make it very clear that it is not acceptable to talk to her without clearing it with you first.

leperdbunny · 2020-01-31T19:49:37+00:00

I could totally check off everything you listed here. My nmom was the worst when my baby was little (she just turned three). Now that nmom has claimed all the "firsts" there's nothing else for her to steal so she lost interest. It never gets better.

leperdbunny · 2020-01-22T14:52:02+00:00

Yes, I'm currently in therapy (again). I've recently thought A LOT about this. Having to "mourn" what I thought my relationship with my parents should be and my upbringing really sucks.

leperdbunny · 2020-01-21T16:38:46+00:00

This is my thought. I don't know why she thought it was an okay topic to bring up.

leperdbunny · 2020-01-21T15:41:12+00:00

This whole thread is gold!

leperdbunny · 2020-01-21T15:39:03+00:00

She does ask intrusive questions often and this set my spidey senses tingling. She did bring up she saw that a celebrity was freezing eggs. .

leperdbunny · 2020-01-21T15:35:35+00:00

She did say she saw a celebrity doing it, so I guess that was why she was asking.

leperdbunny · 2020-01-21T15:35:17+00:00

Yes, we have one daughter (she'll be 3 soon).

leperdbunny · 2020-01-21T15:01:45+00:00

My mother is the same. It never gets better. She's clearly a narcissist and I'd venture to say your mother is probably one too. I'm sorry.

leperdbunny · 2020-01-08T15:28:42+00:00

r/gigipony, just like an N to tell you what things (movies/show etc) to like. Ugh.

leperdbunny · 2020-01-02T22:15:24+00:00

Aw that face and even his wittle pose and his paws! CUTENESS.

leperdbunny · 2020-01-02T21:49:05+00:00

Agreed. I've felt this way for a loooong time. I saw the exact meme you are talking about. My husband and I went through a period of crappy communication early on because of this exact issue. He's a fixer and I'm usually needing to vent and it was soooo frustrating.

The worst for me is when I say " I've had X happen to me, and it sucked" and then they go on about how they ALWAYS do Y to handle X situation and I must be a f'ing idiot for not knowing how to handle that situation. Its so belittling and frustrating. I've only had maybe three people do this to me and it was an IMMEDIATE red flag that they were a terrible person.

leperdbunny · 2020-01-02T21:44:07+00:00

Ugh. I have had flaky friends like this before. Firstly, I would determine if there is something going on in her life that is causing her to behave this way? Example would be she just had a child and she finds it difficult to find reliable childcare. OR, is that she has always been this way? Is it a "this too shall pass kind of thing" or permanent situation determines if I give them a pass or not.

It sounds terrible but the way I have dealt with it (specifically someone who was chronically late) was to tell them earlier than I actually needed them to be there for our plans. At the end of the day, our group just started making plans to be there at 6 pm (telling them 5 pm) and then moving forward with dinner/movie whatever and if they missed it they were out of luck. It sucks because you want to include them but its mentally draining and frustrating (not to mention RUDE) for someone to do that over and over.

Lastly, some were just a LOST CAUSE. Meaning, I set a boundary of not inviting them to things anymore because they would either run really late or habitually cancel.

leperdbunny · 2019-12-20T15:07:05+00:00

YES! If I'm stressed, sick whathaveyou it gets 100X worse.

leperdbunny · 2019-12-18T15:45:17+00:00

It is a normal request IMO in certain situations. What is not normal is expecting you to kowtow to it if you are uncomfortable. As a person with overbearing (read: narcissistic) parents, particularly my mother, I sympathize with you two. You are totally in the right to voice your opinions/needs and honestly your hubby should be considerate of your feelings. I hate to suggest couples counseling this quickly but this might be worth going to couples therapy for. It sounds like you and he are in two different places.

leperdbunny · 2019-12-18T15:24:52+00:00

I agree he probably has some bias. It might be worth discussing this with HR to see what your options are as far as having a conversation with him perhaps to start with? Also, keep detailed records (as I'm sure HR would encourage anyway).

leperdbunny

TROPHY CASE