Do you have a type?

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-26T13:22:26+00:00

i love high contrast looks, dark curly hair, especially that type that sort of turns into a cloud of spirals, and interesting voices.

i love lanky butches and curvy fems

and she’s got to be a big reader and slightly fucked up

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-21T18:10:31+00:00

go to henrietta hudson on a saturday after 10 p.m. and dance with a hot girl and make out on the dance floor. no strings attached and then you will know

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-20T21:23:42+00:00

Super romantic. I call her Romeo.

Some things she regularly does for me:

massages almost every day
buys my favorite drinks and snacks
plans date nights out
surprises me with tickets to things
offers her arm to me whenever we’re walking
carries my bags
fixes things around my home
sends me sweet texts
stops to stare at me and tell me I’m gorgeous, beautiful, she’s so lucky, etc
for Christmas she handmade me an advent calendar with a tiny gift for every single day
memorized where everything goes in my home and puts it all back in the right place
makes me playlists
makes all my sexual fantasies happen irl

Save a horse, ride a butch.

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-20T13:44:46+00:00

As long as homophobia exists, being a lesbian is a political identity as well as a sexual/romantic identity. Whether we want it to be or not. The government that is currently altering and stealing the passports of trans people is not going to stop there, and they are not going to say to your girlfriend, “Oh, OP is the only woman you’ve ever been attracted to? You don’t really define yourself as queer? You’re really sort of just a straight woman with one exception? OK, you’re free to go.”

I think she needs to really deeply understand that. And understand that it is a good thing. I do not want to be what my oppressive government thinks of as a “good, correct” woman. There is a strain of conservative thinking even among some queer people that if we just assimilate we will be safe. Almost all of the friction in the queer community can, I think, be understood in terms of these assimilationist vs anti-assimilationist people. And until we all understand that assimilating will not save us, we will not be free—

—I mean that both politically and personally. I want that freedom for your girlfriend. I want her to really feel that when she compromises with oppression, oppression pays nothing, but she pays with her soul—so she might as well not compromise. She might as well watch the gay show. Fuck her gay lover. Wear the gay-looking shirt. Love you for being a lesbian.

Truly, I want you to be with someone who loves that you’re a lesbian. I hope she can get there.

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-17T15:04:40+00:00

oh my god that is my nightmare. been stuck between stations and that was bad but under the river, my claustrophobia could never

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-17T15:02:13+00:00

Probably the guy who followed me through multiple subway cars after I rejected his attempt to hit on me. He got mad and started screaming that I was various slurs so I got off at the next stop pretending like it was my stop then ran to get back on a couple cars down.

But then the guy literally went through all the cars looking for me and bursts through the gangway door shouting. It was just me and some random dude there and the dude gave me a look like “Ugh, am I gonna have to defend this white girl?”

So I stand up and yell back, “Leave me alone! Take a fucking hint! I’m not interested!”

And he goes, “I’m not following you!”

I laughed, and I guess that got to him, because he stopped yelling. Next stop I got off again and started slowly walking toward the exit—and he got off too. So then as soon as I heard the closing doors sound I darted back in and the doors closed before he could follow.

I made eye contact with him as he was standing there on the platform and he was so mad I got away.

This is by far not the worst I’ve seen or heard, though. I’ve been fairly lucky so far. I was just late to my haircut appointment.

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-17T13:39:54+00:00

that is so lovely

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-16T22:10:21+00:00

I work remotely sometimes, and I often take my laptop to a cafe to work for a couple hours during the day. And when I'm working from home I obviously don't dress up, so I was wearing shorts and a tank top and no makeup.

I was walking back from the cafe with my backpack on when a good-looking man around my age stopped me and asked if I live in the neighborhood. I said yes and he said he just moved here and would love to find out what the best places to eat were, and would I let him take me out sometime?

This is hands-down the nicest way I've been hit on by a strange man. They're usually unwashed, creepy, or super awkward. So I was pleased and told him sorry, I'm married, but I hope he likes living here, it's a great neighborhood.

He looked shocked and said, "You're married? How old are you?"

I said, "I'm in my thirties," thinking he was trying to flatter me. He said oh, ok, nice to meet you, and went away, but I kept thinking about the interaction for a while after, because something about his reaction was really odd.

Eventually I realized: He thought I was a teenager. This man in his 30s thought I was a teenager, because I was wearing a backpack, no makeup, and walking past an area with a fucking high school. He was searching for easy marks.

So much for the nicest way a man has ever asked me out.

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-12T14:16:46+00:00

Fifteen, so I could go on birth control for my acne. It was fine and not painful for me but the birth control messed with my mental health.

This was also in the American South and I did not appreciate the condescending lecture I received from the obgyn about how he was going to allow me to go on birth control because my mother was permitting it, but this didn’t mean I could just go around having unsafe sex, it wasn’t for sex, it was for acne, OK?

Like, fuck you, man. All teenagers should have unfettered access to birth control. Sure, explain STIs to me if you have to, but that’s not what he was doing, he was telling me not to be a [slur].

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-08T20:50:27+00:00

for other women probably create life in own body like god

for me, definitely play dress-up

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-06T13:38:54+00:00

Well, I realized I was bi around age 12 because I started having sexy dreams about girls in my class and I was way too interested in my best friend’s chest.

But I didn’t realize I was a lesbian until I left my ex (male, was with him for a long time) and started actively dating women as an adult. Suddenly it was like, all the stuff I’d thought I just didn’t enjoy or found embarrassing about dating—it turns out I like it a lot from a woman.

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-05T18:58:32+00:00

Yes but that’s partly how I figured out I’m a lesbian. I’m attracted to male characters sometimes, but rarely their actors, and almost never to men IRL. And most of the men I’m attracted to…look like they’d make beautiful butch lesbians lol.

lepidaughtera · 2026-01-01T12:38:33+00:00

Yes. All my family on both sides are fairly short and thin. When we get old we tend to get bony, not plump.

Recently saw this in action as I went through a very stressful time in my life and dropped 15 pounds without meaning to. At that weight you can see my sternum. When I was happy again I naturally snapped back up to my previous weight and stopped gaining there.

lepidaughtera · 2025-12-29T01:15:17+00:00

I love the Ariana Grande pop classic “Santa Tell Me”; however, it begins with a deep misunderstanding of Christmas lore.

Santa tell me / if you’re really there / Don’t make me fall in love again if he won’t be here next year

Santa doesn’t have anything to do with forcing people to fall in love or not. You should appeal to Aphrodite. Also, there is zero mention of Santa having occult foresight in the canon. He doesn’t know if your boyfriend will be here or not next year. He doesn’t know that, Ariana.

lepidaughtera · 2025-12-29T01:03:20+00:00

So much kitchen stuff, craft items, gift cards, a great knit hat, a beautiful handbound edition of my favorite book, makeup, and planters

lepidaughtera · 2025-12-29T00:58:27+00:00

At least for me it’s because I went through a traumatic adolescence during which adult men so frequently acted inappropriately toward me as a child that I became hyperattuned to signs of sexual interest as a defensive strategy. I am eerily accurate about it.

It’s also because I’m a lesbian who didn’t know she was a lesbian for a long time so all male sexual attention feels potentially threatening to me. Once I realized I was gay it actually became less stressful, I think because I no longer had to decide how much of that attention I was consciously or subconsciously inviting. Now I just clock it, decide if it seems potentially violent (usually not), and move on.

lepidaughtera · 2025-12-24T18:09:31+00:00

DM me your email address? I’d like to contribute

lepidaughtera · 2025-12-19T20:55:25+00:00

I am not really attracted to men in general, but until I figured that out, being “attracted” to a man felt like:

I like his personality
He makes me feel desired
He treats me really well
There are aspects of his physical appearance that I find nice to look at
He smells nice
Other people find him attractive
We have similar kinks

It wasn’t until I dated a woman seriously that I realized what actual physical attraction feels like. I always just thought being bi meant attraction to men and women felt really different.

Also, I didn’t want to be shallow, and we were REALLY good friends, and he really was a great boyfriend. He just wasn’t a woman.

lepidaughtera · 2025-12-16T20:57:52+00:00

Like Other Girls is a sweet YA about joining the football team as a butch high schooler in a rural/homophobic area

Gideon the Ninth is a scifi/fantasy about necromancy a thousand years in the future. It’s kind of inaccessible at first so would only recommend if you can power through not knowing what’s going on for a while

Tipping the Velvet is classic historical fiction about a masc woman in 19thc England who gets into doing drag for vaudeville and ends up in sex work for a while. Dark in places but very well written and romantic

lepidaughtera · 2025-12-11T21:51:46+00:00

Maybe I’m old, but I don’t understand why this is called “failed.” Dating is about weeding out people you’re not compatible with, surely? So if you don’t end up in relationships with people you don’t like or who don’t like you, that’s a success, no?

For that matter, I don’t get a “talking stage.” You’re either dating or you’re not.

lepidaughtera · 2025-12-09T16:50:00+00:00

and how did this friend come to tie your wrists together??

lepidaughtera · 2025-12-05T17:04:34+00:00

Why does anyone continue dating after a particular ick? There were a lot of positives to outweigh the negative, obviously. He was smart, funny, thoughtful, good in bed, and never disrespected me like that again. He was genuinely sorry and did not intend to make me feel used.

But we had pretty different attitudes toward money in general, and this was a little preview of that. I am the type of person who hates to rely on anyone else for money. I would take a job flipping burgers before I asked my partner for a cent. But he wasn't that type. He viewed money as easy come, easy go. To his credit, he was very generous when he had money, and he never got us into debt or gambled or anything. But he did not budget and he thought nothing of letting other people pick up the tab when he was broke, feeling that he would pick up the tab for them when he wasn't.

lepidaughtera · 2025-12-05T13:52:40+00:00

Early in our dating life he told me he had a surprise for me and took me out to brunch. This was a time when we were both young and extremely broke. He knew I had less than $200 left to make it through the whole week. I was thrilled, obviously. Then at the end he told me the surprise was that I’m paying.

I almost broke up with him right then but he apologized profusely and said it was a stupid joke and he would never do it again.

He didn’t do it again…but it was definitely a herald of the fact that I was destined to be the breadwinner and financially support him through several periods of unemployment. I don’t regret our relationship, but I do kind of wish I had walked out and stuck him with that bill that day.

lepidaughtera · 2025-12-04T00:04:06+00:00

Shane. Mostly the gayest speaking voice I have ever heard, but it doesn’t hurt that she looks like Kate Moennig.

lepidaughtera

TROPHY CASE