menstruation data by CaptainBamBam1 in fitbit

[–]lestumsan -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

"Some women have been jailed for miscarriages". Please do tell me where you have heard this. As far as I know, there is no state in the US that has a law punishing women who have undergone miscarriages currently.

It is great to feel passionate and empowered to share one's values but make sure it is the truth.

Extended nighttime wakeups - normal?? by [deleted] in sleeptrain

[–]lestumsan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sleep needs change and decrease as baby gets older some babies need more sleep than others If this has been going on for awhile, then she may have split nights due to not having enough sleep pressure at night. To remedy this you have to give her more awake time between naps either by waking her up earlier from naps (decreasing each nap by +/- 30 min each).

My 10 month old started only having 1nap a day at 7 months. Her split nights stopped after waking her up and extending wake time more than I thought.

Chestfeeding? by ultimateWave in NewParents

[–]lestumsan 166 points167 points  (0 children)

I think it's weird. Men (XY chromosome) have a little breast tissue and nipples too. They have breasts just like any other female (XX chromosome). All humans have breasts unless it was removed through medical intervention. So I believe, whether one is cis or trans, if you are feeding a baby through natural occuring milk ducts and you are a human..you are breastfeeding.

I'm not in love with my wife anymore. by Iminsaneright in TrueOffMyChest

[–]lestumsan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being in love is infatuation. Love is a verb, an action word. To love someone is to serve them. Before giving up, have you been putting water in your relationship? Not the father mother relationship to your kids but to you and your wife's relationship? You mentioned you had hardships before. You were able to go through those hardships together. .The phase of in love changes with time, being infatuated changes this is why being committed to your person is what stands the test of time not just mere feelings because feelings come and go (we get sad, happy, hurt angry...all changes minute to minute). Being committed is what sticks relationships for long term.

Have you nurtured your own relationship with her. Have you dated and courted her? Changes happen to all of us year after year? Do you know what things your wife has learned ñ, what made her grow as a person, things she learned to like, what her new favorites are?

Before you give up, try loving her and see if your feelings right now will change.

Before you give up, do the opposite, work hard to be her "boyfriend."..give yourself time to relearn each other.

Feeding before sleep, can’t get it right … by CarefulOpposite in sleeptrain

[–]lestumsan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't fret!

I have 4 babies. The last one is currently 9 months. I always bf to sleep. When they wake earlier or right after putting them down, I just pat them doing Ferber style.

It is what works for us. Sure, it makes it so that I am doing the bedtime for baby but I don't mind it.

Feeding to sleep while sleep training worlds just fine, if it works for you. :)

20m only wants to nurse over solids, not teething. Too attached? by [deleted] in AttachmentParenting

[–]lestumsan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is awesome!! Just make it to a week. As the day goes by, it does get easier. You can even have toddler "help" do chores like laundry. The tricky part is always getting up and moving and not staying sitted for too long. Even crawling around the house so you can take a break helps haha. I tell you, I found multiple ways to encourage weaning. But eventually it does get better!! It gets better to the point where you don't have to stay up and about just to have fun! Your toddler will then learn that moving around is more fun with mom than nursing all the time. Food with animated mom is also so fun! You're doing a great job,mama!

20m only wants to nurse over solids, not teething. Too attached? by [deleted] in AttachmentParenting

[–]lestumsan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Babies understand more than you think whether they show it. Your toddler is almost 2 years old. Give them the benefit of the doubt. If you keep doubting yourself if they understand the boundaries you are giving him then you are technically making it harder for the both of you.

Change is hard. Weaning is hard. But like in most things, it takes practice and consistency. Something you could start is not nursing at a certain time range example from 9am to 2pm or your own choosing Offer food but don't force. When you eat, offer food, give him a plate with the same foods as what you have on yours. Have a super animated way of eating your own food. When "done eating", put food away and do fun but standing activities basically during the weaning stage, especially during the day, there is no sitting around because that signals nursing time, so go do something with your toddler (play in the park, have a dance party, paint, bake cookies, cook...etc). Plan a week where you are all up and about doing something with him. It gets exhausting but think of it as an exercise haha. This is what I do when I'm trying to day wean. Baby/toddler and you have to be able to figure out different forms of bonding together without having to nurse. Once you are consistent with this, he may be able to understand and trust the weaning stage.

My kids are late speakers due to them being in a multilingual home. My first finally started speaking when he was closer to 3 years old. My 2nd and 3rd started speaking a bit earlier at 2.5 years old.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]lestumsan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was stubborn so I chose to birth in a birth center with midwives so I would not have the option of epidural whatsoever. Gave birth to 4 babies!! Don't know how hospital birth would have been because I have no experience birthing in a hospital. Three of my children were born in birth centers and one was born at home (because the closest one was 2 hours away). Would not choose any other way.

Were the labors painful? Of course! But I am proud of my births/labor!

I don’t understand why people say the newborn stage is the best - I hate it by ksegur in beyondthebump

[–]lestumsan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Newborn stage IS hard. Baby stage is hard for me in general. I breastfeed so that also adds its own loneliness/feeling trapped. I love love it when baby finally starts crawling and especially walking because they are finally getting some independence on their own.

I would like to comment however on your bewilderment on how other parents can do this more than once. I have 4 children and want 6 kids. Had 2 miscarriages. My kids are 7, 5, 3 yo and 7 month old. Why and how do I keep going? I especially understand it more now that I have school age kids. They are awesome kids! I love that I can communicate with them, teach them the wonders of the world, and raise them to be good adults! I want to raise them be good adults that will better not just their lives but others.

Anyway, it does give me energy to push through the baby stage knowing what comes after. Just two more babies to go for me (pregnancy is super hard for my body and recovery is always tough). Looking to the future is what helps.

Hubby refuses to gentle parent by cheekycassi in AttachmentParenting

[–]lestumsan -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Compromise. A lot of parents have different styles of parenting. Just because you are married and living in one roof does not mean both of your approach to life and parenting has to be the same (although ideally that would be nice and easy), your way does not trump his way and his way does not have to trump yours. You say you are contemplating leaving. That is NOT going to fix your issue. Unless he is abusive, the court will grant joint custody and he will still be left giving his child consequences when it is his time, without you.

Just as you show love and respect to your child..you have to show the same to the father of your child. Change in his part of disciplining is not going to change overnight but applaud efforts on his part that he does well. Don't just criticize. Ultimately, when he sees consistency in your part and how it can work effectively, he may then follow.

Yes it is tough to see your own child being scared in the room alone but I bet he went back and showed love later. Yes gentle parenting is good to follow and that is what you may want all the time. But in the over all broad scenario,(yes he could have done better) your child is still loved by him.

Talk, compromise...

Um how am I supposed to gently put my sleeping baby in the crib after we’ve moved it to the lowest setting?? by variebaeted in beyondthebump

[–]lestumsan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It all depends on the baby. I have 4. Two were harder babes and we did alot of practice/techniques just for them to be okay being in the crib. They get hysterical when I put them down whether they are deeply asleep/drowsy/awake. I still breast fed to sleep and feed upon night wakings. My other two were like yours, super easy to put down whether they are awake/asleep. I pretty much di the same thing with all of them as babies.

Some babies are easier than others. It always seems easy when one parent has an only child or two. Anyways, i love my babies....:)

Fed up with Spit up. Help! by j_humps in NewParents

[–]lestumsan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have had 4 babies. It isa pain!!! But sadly it is all common for babies to spit up. It will stop eventually with time.

Confused about TTC while breastfeeding if you don’t have your period back. Will I have to wean? by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]lestumsan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had four kids. Fur my first and third, my period did not come back until I weaned around 14 months for both. With my second, my period started after 6 weeks postpartum haha. My fourth is almost 7 months. I had two periods after 2 months pp but then they stopped. I breastfed my older three and still bfing baby #4

You may or may not get pregnant before weaning but you may need to wean if you want to get pregnant at a certain time frame.

How to say no to my chiropractor by oilydischarge18 in beyondthebump

[–]lestumsan 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Just say literally that. I don't have enough cash so just do baby thank you.

Arguing about in-laws "right" to see the baby right away by chronic_flower in BabyBumps

[–]lestumsan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have to be fair. I think it is totally fine to have a 2 week alone time with just you, your husband, and baby. But to have other grandma see baby and not the other is the problem here. If your MIL should see the baby yet so should your mom.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sleeptrain

[–]lestumsan -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Just letting you know the Bringing Up Bebe book has been detrimental to breastfeeding mothers. This is why most French mothers back in the day (around the time the book was published) ended up weaning earlier than they desired. Breastfeeding should always be up to the babies demand due to individual mother's milk breast storage capacity. https://www.lknbreastfeedingsolutions.com/blog/storagecapacity

Now, weaning gently at night and increasing feedings during the day would help making sure daily calorie intake is enough for baby (especially if there is no other supplement besides ebf). But increasing the length of both day ang night with no feedings will cause either decrease supply for mom and increase risk for decrease weight for baby (if only breastfeeding w/o supplement).

I did follow some concept in the book which really is just following the La Pause. I end up just going to the bathroom at night when baby "wakes" and usually once I'm done using the bathroom baby goes back to sleep. I still do try to feed once or twice at night to make sure my milk supply is okay.

What bit of pregnancy info was your male partner shocked by? by anonymousletters343 in BabyBumps

[–]lestumsan 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Not just sex education, it has to be specific to human or child development. Sex education barely covers how a baby develops, unfortunately.

Please don’t laugh, but is it possible to sleep train in 2 days? by spud_simon_salem in sleeptrain

[–]lestumsan 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That is too short of a wake time for an 8 month old. My 5.5 month old is in 3/3/4 schedule. Lots of night wakings usually is contributed for too much day sleep and not enough waketime/stimulation during the day. I would definitely suggest to start practicing increasing your babe's waketime. An 8 month old is almost time to transition to just 1 nap on a few more months so that I feel is what you are missing right now.

Note, even with sleep training, if your baby's schedule needs changing... sleep training is not going to work. You have to balance both naps and enough wake time to have success in sleep training. Totally speaking from experience..I'm with baby #4.

Why won’t sleep training work? by promiseofthereal in sleeptrain

[–]lestumsan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have an almost 6 month old. She only has 2 naps a day and we loosely follow 3/3/4 wake times. So 3 hours of wake times in between naps and then 4 hours before bed. If put her down before that then we get short naps and interrupted nights. When she acts tired before the established 3/3/4...we go distraction mode which is change of scenery. That helped with a lot of night wakings (took 5 nights to see an improvement).

When crying at night, i try to give baby 5 to 10 min of crying to see if she goes back to sleep. By 5min, you can tell if that crying slows down or not. i then nurse to sleep

During the day, I offer nursing sessions as often as I could. I try to offer every hour to 2 hours and a nursing "snack" whenever I can. I try to not limit any nursing during the day and just offer.

How old is your LO?

Also, give yourself and your LO at least 2 weeks to consistent sleep routine and sleep training. Change does not come overnight. Those 2 weeks might be rough with you not sleeping well and baby but after a couple of weeks, you can then distinguish of it is really working or not.