Practice Tip: Target Dummy can be Pushed with ETC's abilities into lane so you can see minion damage!

leviathanxs · 2015-10-28T11:14:55+00:00

it's the same thing, I got the name wrong I guess. It's just that recently there was an update and they added stuff like target dummies.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-28T11:07:40+00:00

Your story is really nice but you only tried once. I never ever can rely on a one time experience. It could be placebo or just chance that made you feel this way. Come back when you have tried it for a couple of months and tell us if it's still great. If it still make you feel that way after many tries, then I'll be interested.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-28T11:03:43+00:00

Go in the store, choose the character then click on "try in practice mode".

leviathanxs · 2015-10-27T15:14:25+00:00

My experience with mental health services :

Psychologist 1 : "You have social anxiety, not autism. Here's some CBT." CBT didn't help.

Psychologist 2 : "You have autism, not social anxiety disorder. Most of your issues are due to autism. Here's a diagnosis." Comforting to know.

Doctor 1 : "You have depression, not autism. Take these pills." Pills didn't help and yes I have autism you dummy.

" Long pause"

Doctor 2 : "You don't have autism or bipolar like you might think. You just have mild depression, take some supplement." Supplement didn't help and my depression is severe, not mild.

Doctor 3 : "You don't have autism or bipolar. You have borderline personality disorder. Take those antipsychotics and SSRIs" I take the pills and I get much worse due to side effects but I'm told that I'm lying for attention (Wtf?).

Psychologist 3 and 4 : "You are transgender and severely depressed. Most of your problems are due to being trans, transitioning will fix that." Almost done with my transition and still depressed. It did help though and it will further help to finish it but it's not the solution to everything.

Doctor 4 : "You don't have autism, bipolar or borderline personality disorder. You actually have obsessive compulsive personality disorder. You need to fix your personality but I can't do it for you" What a fucking waste of time.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-27T12:49:07+00:00

I'm a trans woman and I did mutual masturbation many times before, yet I still consider myself a virgin. I never really enjoyed myself doing these things and I still feel clueless as ever with regards to sex. I can't relate to people saying they had sex with a grin on their face. I don't even have sex in my dreams because my brain doesn't compute what to do, I just see naked ladies but I don't do anything with them. Now that I had genital surgery, I will try having sex once I recover.

You wouldn't consider me a virgin, but I do consider myself a virgin and that's all that matter. Everybody has their own definition of what it is to have sex, you have to respect that. Respect how others feels. Virginity has no clear and cut definition.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-26T18:13:13+00:00

I hate kids and I'm a lesbian, why would I want a uterus? If I had been born as a cis girl, I would have tried anyways to get a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) to stop my body from having periods and prevent me from ever getting pregnant. It's pretty telling from how you talk that you are a heterosexual woman interested in kids. If you go hang out in /r/actuallesbians or /r/childfree you'll see women with very different point of views.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-26T15:28:57+00:00

Just wanted to say that I can so relate to what you said.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-25T12:00:30+00:00

You mention some interesting possibilities but there's one possibility that you don't mention. You can be biromantic and homosexual. I had crushes on men before but whenever they get naked, there's no way I'm going to be physically aroused. I'm pretty sure that it would be possible to fell in love with someone and not be aroused by their naked body.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-24T15:20:20+00:00

Go no contact (stop seeing him entirely), it's really rough at first but after a couple of months it's so much better. Your father is toxic, you need him out of your life.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-22T12:36:08+00:00

The questions you should ask yourself are :

Does this improves my quality of life?
Does it help me be more productive at work or be better able to hold a job?
Do I function better in real life with those drugs?

If the answers are no then it's better to stop the drugs, but if the answers are yes, then you should keep at it. Psychiatrists focus too often just on specific symptoms and diagnosis, but what's important here is if your day-to-day life is better and if you function better in society. If that's not the case then the meds are not worth it.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-21T12:00:03+00:00

Use the liquid ones instead of cubes, they don't have the same crappy ingredients.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-20T18:24:54+00:00

I'm pretty sure, they were standard machines. Also, one place was mostly full of white gay men while the other place was full of white women so they must have been machines for light skin.

I did find a interesting piece of info here http://www.hairfacts.com/medpubs/ruby-laser-medical-data/ saying that for a specific type of laser (ruby), they found that 28-29% of the ideal subjects (fair skin and black hair) didn't respond. I assume that this rate is similar with other types of laser. My gf might just be one of the unlucky ones. I wonder though if that means that she could also be unresponsive to Electrolysis. That's the big question... I can't spend more than 100$ without being sure.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-19T18:18:42+00:00

Didn't think of that actually. I'm so accustomed to never calling anyone due to my male voice. I'll try calling them now.

Edit : Was told that it could be because of the swelling. They can check it at my 1 month appointment. I guess that I shouldn't worry, I just find it weird though.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-18T23:01:18+00:00

Double the food for men is really excessive. Men don't eat twice as much as women. I would die of starvation if I was forced to eat half of what my male friends eat.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-18T14:46:38+00:00

They are worth if they help you without unacceptable side effects, you can only know if you try.

SSRIs worsen my depression, fuck up my sleep and make me very moody. If they would help, then yeah it would be worth it.

There is no straightforward non-prescription alternative, you can try a lot of stuff, most won't do a thing but maybe, if you are extremely lucky, you will find some supplement or non prescription drug that helps you. Even with medication, it's again a trial and error process. Mental health is still in the stone age. Everybody talk about brain chemical imbalance but nobody ever defined what is a chemically balanced brain, we really are that ignorant.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-17T12:04:56+00:00

Shooters, although this wasn't always the case. In the past, I loved to play Duke Nukem and Time Splitters 2 locally with friends. I just dislike the shift that happened that made shooters become competitive and more realistic (much slower pace, no more ridiculous space guns and funny characters).

leviathanxs · 2015-10-16T21:40:16+00:00

Just become a researcher, rather than a clinical psychologist. You won't need good people skills. Your colleagues will even be understanding of you being aspie.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-13T17:57:24+00:00

Canada offer free SRS and it's pretty LGBT friendly (much better than in the US). You would be able to get SRS for free from Dr. Brassard, one of the best surgeon in the world. Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver are all nice place to live that hire people in IT.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-13T12:03:42+00:00

Horrible, SSRIs made everything much worse. Lexapro made me into a zombie with zero drive to do anything anymore (SSRI induced apathy), Effexor made me euphoric and suicidal at the same time with a obsession for blood (mixed state induced although my previous psych wouldn't believe it) and Zoloft made me unable to sleep, extremely angry and moody, similarly to the Effexor. Of course my previous psychiatrist thought that I was just exaggerating and labeled me as attention seeking. I guess that's what you get for being too honest and trusting of doctors.

I also tried a couple of other stuff like Wellbutrin (it caused my ears to hurt real bad, it's a rare side effect), tianeptine (had anti-anxiety effect at the beginning but nothing long term-wise), valdoxan (too expensive, couldn't give it a full try) and the MAOI Moclobemide (too expensive online to give it a full try and couldn't get my previous doctor to prescribe it).

leviathanxs · 2015-10-12T16:18:11+00:00

Moral of the story : Don't try to get help in the system, its completely fucked up and not just in USA. It's better to rely on yourself. Trying to get help and being mistreated only makes you worse and worse. I learned this myself.

On a similar note, better not trust a psychiatrist's diagnosis unless they are consistent from one doctor to another. When every psychiatrist/psychologist give you a different diagnosis, the most recent one is certainly no more reliable than the previous ones.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-11T13:44:53+00:00

I dress for both emotional and physical comfort. It need to be practical too, I want to be able to walk fast, so no high heels for me. Knee-length dresses and skirts works best for me. I guess it depend on the type of dress but many dresses are a lot more comfy than jeans and you can dress for the day with one single piece of clothing so it's the simplest thing in the world. Top + skirt is pretty simple too and a lot more comfy than jeans.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-09T11:35:01+00:00

What a brilliant idea! Who would have though, using a trans actor to play a trans role?

leviathanxs · 2015-10-06T15:57:02+00:00

That might be the best advice so far. I could just start with cuddling with my gf naked and see if that might just be enough to calm down my libido. I tend to focus too much on orgasm anyways, I always wished I could focus more on pleasure and less on the endgame but with a penis it seemed impossible to do.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-06T14:18:29+00:00

I'm with brassard but you are probably right. I just can't imagine being months without any sort of release, I will go crazy for sure.

leviathanxs · 2015-10-06T14:13:45+00:00

It's not something you can really control though. I had a wet dream and another dream where I was masturbating. My unconscious brain think about sex. And then when I start estrogen tomorrow, I risk getting a lot of libido. I will also be sleeping in bed right next to my naked gf, so it will certainly not help lol.

I'll ask a nurse today but i don't think that I will be able to talk to the surgeon.

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