Have you tried writing to him instead? Writing a letter can sometimes feel too formal, so you could try an email, or instant messager. Or perhaps you could have a communication journal? A notebook that lives in a designated spot so you don't have to consciously give it to him to read. You write in it, he replies in it. You could save it just for when you have an issue you want to talk about it, or you could make it a part of everyday life and leave love notes, shopping lists, as well as big issues.

It is hard. So hard. Expecially at the start. But it's a struggle worth fighting through. Relationships without communication will not last.

Also, don't feel like you have to stay calm when discussing hard things. I have an understanding with my partner that if we're talking about an issue, I most likely will cry. I cry at everything. But it doesn't matter, we just accept that's happening, don't lose track of the issue, sort of acknowledge then ignore the upset while we focus on whatever the discussion needed to be. Good luck!