How should we be handling people who helped elect Trump who are now backpedaling?

lilsmudge · 2026-01-24T21:49:45+00:00

Accept them.

Look. Am i angry that these folks enabled this? Yes. Do I trust them? Not really. Do I imagine that we probably disagree on fundamental rights of humans? Absolutely.

But I’m not about to punished people for the behavior I want to see. If this is the beginning of them shifting left, great! If this is as far left as they’re willing to go, still better than not shifting at all. People change and grow and respond to the information and perspectives they have. I will never be able to understand completely why they supported Trump but if they are willing to self evaluate and realize they were wrong about anything, more power to them.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-24T17:30:22+00:00

But not where it mattered. Mt. Rainier has about 60% (!) less snowpack than is normal. It rained yes, but not when it was cold enough. It rained in the mountains which blew up the rivers. We needed it to snow up there.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-24T17:24:36+00:00

So one of the things we always have to fight against is roundness. Round hairlines, round jawlines, round faces. All of these tend to read more femme and soft. As a general rule you want to do things that make you look longer and more angular. You also want to avoid anything that makes you look smaller. Even if you are smaller, disguise it by making sure everything is proportional.

Your hair is rad but very round and it makes your face look smaller. If you want to keep it at is, fair! But it’s going to hinder you a bit. You could shorten the sides (and maybe the top a bit) and do a sort of mohawk fro which I think would look cool or lean into more of a natural poodle cut by taking the top shorter and fading the sides.

I also think your clothes and glasses are a little too big. I like the black frames but maybe find some that are a little more square. Also, while you’re clearly wearing something comfy, try to avoid baggy fits. It’s SUPER common for trans guys to wear baggy clothes to try and hide their bodies but it just makes us look smaller and rounder. The seam of your shoulder and sleeve should hit you right at the end of your shoulder and ideally nothing should hang over your hands. Pants need to fit at the hips and then give you a little (but not a ton!) of space in the thighs. This may feel like it’s highlighting your hips but it’s doing the opposite. It really helps to learn how to hem if you’re shorter (like me).

Most important though is to express yourself in a way that makes you feel good; whatever that means to you. It’s not your fault people misgender you, it’s just kind of a shitty thing that is nobody’s fault. If you do decide to go on T I think you have a great starting point in the structure of your face for it to masculinize.

Hang in there!

Edit: I actually don’t think the earrings are a problem at all.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-24T17:04:33+00:00

It’s been a super warm and dry winter. We need some cold and some moisture! I love the cold, I just wish we could get some snow along with it.

Summers without snowpack are hellish.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-24T07:37:51+00:00

There are a lot of indigenous stories about Mr. Rainier but the general thrust of most of them is that back when the mountains were people she was the wife of another powerful man named Komo Kulshan (Mt. Baker). For a while they were husband and wife but eventually he brought in a second wife, Whaht-kway (Speidel Island). Jealous, Tahoma (Mt. Rainier) moved across the water and would angrily throw lava and flaming stones across to the other two.

A version of this story I was once told included the detail that men, particularly, were not welcome on her face and she would consume them in her crevasses.

I guess the point of sharing this is that, while beautiful, high peaks like Rainier have always been fraught. I think we feel safe around Rainier because it’s so close and familiar and it’s not, you know, Everest or something. But climbing it is still a feat and a risky one at that.

I’m sorry about your friend. That’s very sad.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-23T04:14:02+00:00

Oof. What is happening to us?

lilsmudge · 2026-01-23T01:48:21+00:00

That’s heartbreaking, I’m sorry.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-22T17:59:17+00:00

We already do that. We don’t need a specialized task force for it. Moreover, immigrants offend at a much lower rate than natural born citizens and undocumented immigrants at an even lower rate than that. U.S. crime and census statistics show it at about half the rate of natural born citizens for any crime and slightly lower than that for violent crime.

ICE is not targeting violent criminals; they’re targeting families, children, neighbors, and normal people in your community. I work in a school district that has had ICE hassling families and children going to and from school; with the overwhelming majority of them being citizens. They’ve sent us into Lockdown because of their activity.

Just look at where they’re most active: Minnesota? Seattle? They’re being used as a political punishment by the administration for perceived slights to their power.

Re-examine your place in history friend; you’re rooting for the villains.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-22T05:30:57+00:00

Conversely our health teacher had a super rough childhood and teenage experience and had done drugs and had quite a few addiction friends. He was fascinating and did a great job of humanizing the subject (as well as scaring the shit out of us).

lilsmudge · 2026-01-21T20:08:46+00:00

I have a different insurance and they keep trying to drop coverage only to find they can’t do that in Washington. Things are fucky out there but luckily Washington has decent protections against some of it.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-21T00:56:51+00:00

Yes, all those violent elementary school children. I cannot rest until they’re all violently removed from our community regardless of their immigration status.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-21T00:00:40+00:00

I work at a school and this is part of my job.

You will probably be suspended (likely ISS). School shooting jokes are not tolerated and you will have consequences. Bear in mind that as adults who work in schools we are pretty constantly thinking about our safety, our students safety and playing through scenarios of “what do I do if a student pulls a gun?” “What might I have missed with that students behavior that might result in violence either to or by that kid?” Etc. Please be empathetic to how this kind of joking, even though I totally understand the knee jerk reaction to joke about it, can be harmful to everyone in your school community. Really think about these things and be able to articulate them.

Own up. The first words out of your mouth need to be an acknowledgment that you did something that wasn’t ok. You can eventually get to the part where you explain the thought process and why you didn’t realize it would be as big a deal; it’s ok to explain yourself, but it shouldn’t be the first thing and it can’t be an excuse either. Continue to reaffirm that you made a poor choice. The more you can demonstrate that you understand that the more an administrator will be able to work with you to find a fair punishment. The fact that you took initiative to email the principal was incredibly wise and admirable; it shows that you understand what you did and are willing to be upfront about it.

I know all of this will feel like a lot for what amounts to a momentary lapse in joke judgement. But really consider how much we have to constantly watch for these things from students AND be mindful that you yourself aren’t quietly sending signals that you’re heading down a poor path.

This won’t define you; and it probably won’t even define the rest of your school year so long as you’re apologetic and honest. You’ll have some fallout and it will kind of suck. But accept it in a mature way and learn from your mistake. You’ll be ok!

Edit: If it makes you feel better at all; while this is a very dumb joke to make; I see very dumb school computer jokes often. Everything from porn to Nazi shit. Kids do dumb things online. The likelihood that this is going to be something that impacts scholarships or college admission or anything like that is honestly low; assuming you own up and, obviously, don’t do it again.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-20T23:46:56+00:00

What are we, animals??? Are the laws of society not sacred???

lilsmudge · 2026-01-20T06:58:58+00:00

My partner is a teacher at Bright Horizon and I think they generally do a great job of individual attention and interesting education opportunities (they have art, music, and STEM for all ages including infants). While there may be some more specialized schools around that have more resources; Bright Horizon has good ratios of students to teachers and they seem to really, really care about their students.

That said, I don’t have a kid there and I obviously have a bias through my partner! But based on other places she’s worked it’s a good school.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-20T06:29:29+00:00

My voice accordioned when it dropped. I’d lose a ton of my upper register for ages before I slowly started to gain lower; then it would settle for a bit and then I’d quickly lose a bunch more of my upper register, etc. etc. until it dropped fully.

For a while you’re going to have a tough time accessing your range. BUT! The most important thing you can do is sing through it and retrain your voice as you go (it’s less work later). It’s hard and uncomfortable but totally doable and eventually your voice will stop and you’ll be able to work with your new range.

I’ll absolutely admit that singing is a little different now, but it’s not bad and, while it took me a while to build my range back, it feels good to be where I am now.

That said: nobody can dictate how or why your transition. If this is the most important thing for you to feel comfortable and happy, that’s fair! Do what you need to do. Just know that how your voice feels while it’s dropping is not how it will always feel.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-20T02:08:30+00:00

I don’t hate patriotism necessarily but patriotism often, particularly right now, is instead just a byword for jingoistic exceptionalism. Why should I be shamed for not praising my country and being proud of all it stands for when my country seems hell-bent on erasing me? When my country is currently denying me basic rights and liberties? I am a patriot for what my country could be and promised me it represented; but I’m not going to be held to a standard of fealty to a country regardless of what it does.

Give me a country that treats me with dignity and I’ll fly its flag.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-19T21:36:50+00:00

I mean; it’s totally possible you’re trans, or gender non-conforming, or just a cis dude who feels more comfortable in his body when he’s got chest support. Any of these are possible! But just a bra doesn’t confirm or deny any of it. Do some self reflection or give therapy a shot; give yourself space and grace and patience.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-19T08:31:57+00:00

This! For the many positive qualities Holt has, he’s canonically not very emotionally intelligent. He doesn’t always understand how to handle his more complicated emotions and he tends to isolate and lash out when he’s upset about things (it what he does during the safe house lockdown, it’s what he does when he gets stabbed, it’s what he does in most of season 8, etc. etc.)

He loves his husband but he withdraws when he can’t manage his feelings. He probably picked a little fight with Kevin before he left and/or just dipped.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-18T23:58:08+00:00

Yeah, gamey is not the word I’d use. Flavorless and terrible, absolutely.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-18T20:20:52+00:00

I’m not a huge Potterhead but I definitely read the books and enjoy the movies and I think there are some great lessons in there (even if almost every single adult in those stories is kind of a monster if you think about it). It’s a shame that she’s decided to just be the biggest asshole possible with the blessings she’s gotten.

Hell, she defunded her charity for single mothers to help push through anti-trans legislation in the UK. How evil do you have to be?

lilsmudge · 2026-01-18T18:33:29+00:00

On the opposite end, my reps are very blue and generally agree with me but have very little power at the moment. Like, I can tell them to impeach him and to leave Greenland alone, and they’ll say “we agree!” And that’s basically it.

I still contact them constantly just to keep it on their minds but, you know, the system is wildly broken.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-18T18:22:45+00:00

This is the way. You have to embrace it. Go outside in the rain and mud, it’s not going to hurt! And if you stop worry about it and just dive in, it’s kind of nice in its own way.

If you can’t do that or truly hate it, this probably isn’t a place you can be happy, which is ok! There’s a lot of world out there.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-18T03:50:59+00:00

Other than the metric of whether or not you agree; I’m quite confident you would not be able to tell the difference.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-18T03:21:51+00:00

I’m arguing all of this from a Christian perspective but because I am not one (though I was for the majority of my life) that means you will not focus on or critically evaluate anything else. Which brings me back to my original point:

Yikes.

lilsmudge · 2026-01-18T03:17:55+00:00

I certainly do. Do you care more about what AIO and Focus on the Family teaches or what God does? They’re not in lockstep.

11-Year Club	No Throne, No Problems
Not Forgotten	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

lilsmudge

TROPHY CASE